White Ivy
by sastars429
Summary: A depressed and confused child is put into Wammy's House and given a new name to go by, Silver Smith. She knows Kira's secrets and she knows how to stop him, but will she do the right thing? NearxOC MelloXOC MattxOC
1. You're Just A Bully

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"You're Just A Bully"

* * *

Nicole smiled as she stared out of the front window of the Harkin Manor located in England. The mansion was one of many, but she personally preferred the United States Manor – the one she had grown up in with her two parents, but the location didn't matter anymore to her, well at least not now. Today was the first time she was cheerful in a long time. She was finally moving out of the house her evil stepfather had invaded, and she was never going to see him again. Both of her real parents were dead, something she was pretty sure was her stepfathers doing, and she was an only child – this was the beginning of a brand new life.

_Well, excluding that annoying prat of a shinigami, _she thought to herself, stealing a glance at Zellogi who was standing next to her; he smiled an idiotically large smile back at her. _He never leaves me alone. Always pestering me about that damn noteboo-_

She stopped and looked out the window in horror. _How could I have forgotten the damn notebook! The idiot is always bothering me about it!_

"Uh… Robert," she said, trying to keep her tone casual, "I seem to have forgotten something in the…" She stopped, how could she finish without sounding stupid?

_A person can't just say 'Hey I forgot something in the woods,' that just sounds mental. _She smacked herself inwardly, she couldn't leave without it, that was for sure, but she didn't know what to say.

"I don't care about you," he replied gruffly, turning away from the window, "Do what you want with your life." He finished, walking away. For once she didn't really mind the fact that her stepfather was evil and uncaring, it actually worked to her advantage sometimes.

She smiled kindly at him, faking of course, and ran out of the house and towards the woods. After an escapade of frantically trying to remember the trees she had marked she found herself staring at the glassy surface of a pond. Zellogi was snickering behind her, telling her that she could have just asked him for help.

"Don't make me bite you," she growled, getting onto her knees. She rolled her sleeves up and braced herself. Quickly, she shoved her hands into the pond, feeling the cold water stabbing at her hands like knives. She shuddered, feeling around for the box when she found it. She quickly pulled it out, hurrying to distance herself from the icy water.

"Aw," Zellogi complained from behind her, "How could you put my precious notebook in _that? _I thought you were rich!" He said, pointing to the clear Tupperware container in disgust.

"I suppose it's not very impressive," she said sadly, gazing at the container. "But, it works. And, I might be rich, but I at least know that quality is better over… looks."

"I'm not sure that's how the saying goes," he pondered, scratching his head.

"Shut up," she said harshly, standing up and making her way back to the manor. As hard as it had been finding the smallish pond, she could easily see the manor from her point in the woods.

"Hey," Nicole said carefully, staring at Zellogi, "Why exactly did you drop your notebook here in the human world in the first place?" She asked, taking the notebook out of the container and admiring it in her hands.

"Accident," he replied simply, staring at the manor.

_That's the only answer I ever get, _she sighed, _but, when he talks to himself I always hear him talking about Ryuk and how jealous he is, because his pet actually uses the death note. _She shuddered, thinking of the person behind the mask of 'Kira'… and at the mention of being called a pet. That's what she was to Zellogi… a pet.

"You could always use it," he said, smiling at her evilly.

She sighed and opened the cover, staring down at a name, "I did," she said sadly.

"I mean for a reason less predictable… less _human,_" he said slyly, "I mean, killing your family's supposed murderer is just so… mundane."

"I'm sorry that the tragedies of my life are so boring," She bit back, standing up, "And I don't know if you've noticed, but I happen to be rather human." She said, lifting up her shirt to place the death note under it.

"Ooh," he said, staring at her as she tucked the death note in her pants.

"Excuse me," she said, slapping him, "But I'm thirteen, and you're like six hundred," she said, walking back towards the manor, "If that's not pedophilia I don't know what is."

"Come on," he whined, following after her, "I was just teasing."

She ignored him all the way back to the manor, and when she got back a long, sleek black car was waiting for her in her driveway, Robert standing next to it, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Robert," She greeted, nodding towards him in a dismissive way.

"Nicole," he replied, dismissing her as well.

_What a pleasant goodbye, _she thought opening the door and stepping inside the car. She closed the door and stared out the window at her stepfather as he walked back to the house, _such a despicable man._

For the first few minutes of the ride she just kept her eyes trained outside the window, she didn't really care about anything else for the time being, and she wanted to conceal her anxiety about the situation. Finally she mustered the courage to look around the vehicle.

She inhaled sharply, and her heart jostled forward. There was a strange… creepy looking man sitting right next to her and somehow she hadn't noticed before. "Hey, you almost gave me a _heart attack_!" She exclaimed at him.

"I've been sitting here the entire time… and what a strange choice of words." He replied simply.

"Well… hello," she greeted carefully, unsure of him. He sat in a strange position, balancing on his feet with his knees pulled up to his chest while he leaned forward. She sat uncharacteristically still, trying to appear normal.

He grunted in response, but she didn't press harder. Normally she'd be insulted if anyone declined a greeting, but she was kind of glad he did. She wouldn't really know what to do if he had tried to start a conversation.

"Do you think Kira is evil?" He asked suddenly, his opaque eyes drilling into her.

"W-why're you asking me that?" She replied, extremely aware of Zellogi who was stupidly sticking his tongue out directly in the strange man's face, chanting 'you can't see me' over and over.

"Never mind, I thought you would be up to such an elementary question." He said harshly, facing forward again.

Now Zellogi was making snide comments about her intelligence, and it was driving her to the edge. It didn't matter how weird this guy was! First he declined her greeting, and now he was insulting her intelligence?

"That's a difficult question to ask someone," she told him angrily, "You're expecting me to say 'yes', no negotiations," she growled, "But, then you wouldn't really be asking me a question. However, I can't say that I totally agree that he's evil, but I definitely lean toward that thought." She said, taking a second to send a glare Zellogi's way.

"Why don't you agree one-hundred percent?"

"Do you agree one-hundred percent?"

"I agree that Kira is evil ninety-eight percent." He said simply, not wasting a moment.

"I don't agree one-hundred percent because crime has gone down considerably since Kira's ideals have been introduced. I suppose you think I'm insane now." She finished, staring forward.

"I'm ninety-nine percent certain that you are sane."

"Is anything ever one-hundred percent with you?"

"Yes."

"Really? What color is this car?"

"I'd say black,"

"Are you certain?"

"No, I'm only about ninety-nine point nine percent certain that this vehicle is black." He answered easily.

"How can you honestly be speculating whether this car is truly black or not?" She asked him, astounded.

"I wasn't there when the paint was made," He said casually, "A drop of pink paint could have accidentally found its way into the mixture," he pondered, "And if that were the case, then this car would not truly be black. It would be black with a drop of pink."

She stared at him for a moment, shook her head and decided to forget it. "What do you call yourself, mister less-than-one-hundred percent?"

"L." He said simply, and for a second or two she thought about telling him off. Sure, she was generally easy-going, but this guy simply had no tact. He was outlandish and weird, he declined her greeting, he wouldn't give her a straight one-hundred percent answer for stupid reasons, and now he had a one-letter name? She decided against it, as he was older than her, and bit her tongue. Some battles were just better left not fought.

The ride was smooth, with no bumps or bruises, and soon Nicole found herself resisting sleep. The smooth sound of the tires rolling on the pavement outside was like a quiet, hushed lullaby. Her eyes began to droop, and before she knew it she was passed out against the window.

Suddenly she awoke to Zellogi screaming in her ear, trying to wake her up. She was glad that he hadn't tried touching her, because L would notice her moving without it being on her own accord. But, he couldn't help her reaction.

"Huh? Wha? Where am I? Why're you yelling?" She yelled out loud before realizing her surroundings.

_I should really win the award for stupidity this year, _she thought to herself, sitting dejectedly.

"I'm not yelling… or even speaking," he said uncertain, "And you're on your way to Wammy's House. Do you recollect?" he finished calmly.

She nodded sadly, seeing a building in the distance. "Is that…?"

"Yes, that is Wammy's house. I'm here on a special visit." He said, staring at the building fondly.

She gulped, _he thinks I'm crazy now, _she thought sadly, _but he looks less sane than I do. I hope that's not true… insane people are always the biggest threats. If anyone's going to figure me out, it'll be him. I'm sure of it._

The black-with-a-drop-of-pink car pulled up next to Wammy's, and she was genuinely surprised. _This building must be twice… no three times the size of the manor, _she thought, exiting the car after L, making sure to hit Zellogi once L had his back turned. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, L was attacked by many children, and so was the man she assumed to be Watari.

She slowly examined the place, looking around at the grounds when she finally turned her gaze towards the door. On top of the steps were three boys, probably the only children who didn't rush up to greet L. She tried to read their expressions, but she couldn't really explain them.

There was the one in the middle who was bent over a DS, tapping away at the keys mercilessly. He didn't really seem to care about the arrival of L, instead it seemed as if he cared more about beating the game he was playing. She sighed and lifted her gaze.

The next boy she saw was the boy furthest to the left, he had blonde hair… and well she thought he looked kind of girly. He had a half eaten chocolate bar in his hand and was chatting away to the boy in the middle.

_Wow, _she thought shifting her gaze to the boy on the right, _those two are strange but the boy on the white… right, my bad, is seriously weird. White pajamas with white skin? Maybe he should move to Siberia, _she laughed at the thought, _but… something about him reminds me scarily of L… it might just be in my best interest to steer clear of him, _she thought.

She looked around again and noticed that the attention had shifted to her, apparently the children were done greeting L. She turned around to look for him and caught a glance of him heading inside along with the three boys on the steps.

_What's going on? _She thought, _First he's asking me about Kira… and now he's paying special attention to those three?_

"Excuse me Miss," a voice said and she was jerked out of her thoughts. "This way to my office, you may address me as Roger or Mr. Ruvie. Not 'R-dawg', 'Rizzle', or any other name you teenagers come up with." She giggled and followed him.

* * *

She sighed and collapsed on her bed when she finally got back to her room. Nothing important was said or done in the office, so she didn't really understand why it took the better part of an hour. She received an alias, a room, and just about a million rules and tips to go by (Roger seemed to be a very strict man). Her alias was Silver, Silver Smith.

_How lame could it possibly get? _She thought to herself, staring at silver strands of hair that fell into her face, _I mean, how original. As if I haven't heard that before. Yes, my hair is silver. I wish people would just get over it._

She rolled over and stared at the box at the end of her bed. "How depressing," she said sadly, staring at the box, "I was the heiress to a multi-million dollar company, and now I'm reduced to a small box of my possessions."

Zellogi floated through the wall, "Such a shame, huh?" he asked her harshly, "I was a beautiful, bored Shinigami, so I tried to have some fun. Then a _witch_ ruined it. We're in a similar situation, why don't we help each other out? I've done my part; I gave you the death note –"

Silver threw one of her shoes at him, missed, and it hit the wall heavily. "You can just shut up," she said harshly, crawling to the edge of her bed to inspect the box.

She took out six things; her kitten poster, her colorful baby blanket, her Eeyore stuffed animal, her Kindle, her iPod, and lastly her laptop. She had been forced to wipe the contents clean off her laptop, but she didn't really mind. It's not like she'd have friends to be missing.

Fifteen minutes later her room was decorated accordingly; poster on the blank white wall, blanket and stuffed animal on the blank white bed, and technical devices on the desk in the corner. She smiled at her handiwork.

"They sure do like white here," Zellogi said depressingly, "I much prefer black, you know."

"Not everything is about you, you know." She said harshly, opening the door to the bathroom she would be sharing. She was glad that she got to have her own room, but in order to conserve space she had to share a bathroom. She walked in and looked around, noticing a sparse amount of possessions in the bathroom, a two in one conditioner and shampoo, a towel-rack with two clean, white towels, and a white toothbrush with some toothpaste next to the sink. She sighed happily; at least she wasn't sharing a room with a total pig, right?

_Well maybe I'll check to see if they're in their room, _she said, pressing her ear to the door. Hearing muffled sounds of a conversation she curiously opened the door just a crack.

"You think you're always better than me, Near?" Said the blonde boy from earlier, while holding up Near by the collar. When Near didn't reply he just seemed to get angrier.

_Uh-oh, _Silver thought, leaning more weight against the door, _Maybe I shouldn't be barging in on them._

* * *

"_Blame the bully, blame it on me, maybe they needed to be wanted," – Bully, Three Days Grace_


	2. Bad Day

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Bad Day"

* * *

Silver took a step forward into the room, _What the hell is your problem? Do you want to die? _She screamed at herself.

"Yes," she said with a smirk. Both boys suddenly jerked their heads in her direction.

"Who're you?" The blonde one screamed.

"Silver Smith. I share this bathroom." She replied simply. He didn't reply and they were caught in an awkward silence, Near still suspended in the air.

"Is this male bonding?" She asked coyly, pointing towards Near.

"No," he replied viciously, "This stupid sheepdog always thinks he's better than me because he's number one!"

"And you're number two?"

"Only for now," he said angrily.

"Well then this is pointless," she said, rolling her eyes out of boredom.

"Pointless?" He screamed back at her.

"As far as I am aware," she said matter-of-factly, "One is before two… therefore better," she sighed, "And anyways, he isn't fighting back – you're just being a bully. You should fight for justice!" She said unenthusiastically, sarcastically pumping her fist in the air.

"Are you mocking L?" He asked, his expression offended, "He fights for justice!"

"No," she said, her patience wearing thin, "I'm mocking you, and this school. But, my opinion doesn't really matter if you think about it," she said, starting to turn around, "I don't really fight for justice, but I guess I would if I was told to. You know?"

"What the hell?" He asked, dropping Near with a thud, "Were you raised as a servant?"

"No, and I'm getting annoyed, however, he," she paused, turning around to point to Near, "Has done nothing to you, and you're starting to plague the air. Leave,"

"You little brat!" He yelled, walking towards her in an attempt to push her down. Finally, losing her patience she held her ground and tripped him.

"You would stoop to such low levels, attacking a defenseless girl and all," she said, smiling a sickening smile, "Or that's what you thought, isn't it?" She said evilly, dragging the boy out by his collar and shutting the door. Near sat in a corner, doing a puzzle, abandoned.

"He probably isn't very popular with the ladies," she commented, staring at Near who acted as if nothing happened. "Don't talk much?" She asked, and he raised his head for a second to stare at her, thought for a second, and then continued working on his puzzle. She thought for a moment and sat down next to him.

"Near, that's alright with me, but you shouldn't be such a pushover." She said, grabbing a puzzle piece and turning it over in her fingers.

"He's really not terrible," he commented, placing each piece in its correct spot with a small _click_.

"You're kind of weird," Silver said, placing the piece in the puzzle and standing up, "But I guess that's okay too." She said, walking towards her room and closing the door behind her.

She collapsed on her bed and stared at Zellogi, who was floating around the room. "You look like a blow-up doll," she joked.

"Why are you picking on me?" He asked her, putting his face next to hers.

She pushed him away, "I guess I'm a rebel." She said, laying face-down on a pillow.

"You can say that again, fights on your first day?" He asked her, pretending to be disturbed.

A muffled sound came from under the pillow, but Zellogi couldn't understand. "What?" he asked.

She raised her head, "You're the one who wants me to murder people." She said cruelly, lying back down on the pillow.

"Murder is such a harsh word… you could try… Constructive Killing. Yes, that's much better, and it's only because I'm bored. You have no idea what insufferable boredom feels like."

"I have no idea what that feels like?" She asked, staring at him in disbelief, "What do you think I am right now? Jovial? On top of the world? I couldn't be more bored," she said, glancing at Zellogi who was giving her a look, "And no, I'm not feeling murderous."

For awhile he just stared at her, floating around the room, looking at her from different angles. "You can stop staring at me," she said after awhile, sitting up.

"I'm trying to send you telepathic messages," he said, waving his hands around in a mystical way, "You will murdeeeerrrr," he said, pressing his fingers to his temples.

"Goodbye," she said getting up and walking towards the door.

"Where are YOU going?" He asked, still chanting murderous thoughts.

"Somewhere away from you, of course." She said, slamming the door behind her.

_I wonder if this place has a library, _she thought, walking down a hallway. _It is a school for smart kids, _she thought, continuing. She had always loved libraries, they were warm, often empty, and the one at the manor was the only place where she could get away from Robert. Libraries made her feel safe.

After an hour of wandering aimlessly around the orphanage she finally made her way to two large, French double-doors. She opened them and was content to find it completely empty. She quickly made a beeline for her favorite section.

_Fiction, _she thought happily, pulling out a few books, _a world of endless possibilities. _She glanced at her watch and quickly set an alarm for dinner, she was famished and she really didn't want to miss it because she'd been reading.

She had just finished reading a cute children's book when she heard the doors open. She gently set down the book and put it back in its place on the shelf and scaled the bookshelf.

"Trying to be sneaky?" Zellogi asked, chuckling at her. She sent him a glare and continued scaling the wall, trying to find a good angle. She carefully took a peek from her spot to see four people entering the library, one was L, one was Near, and the other two were the boys from the steps.

_Of course, with my luck one of them has to be the jerk-face blondie from earlier, _she growled to herself. _Near hangs out with him? I suppose that explains his comment._

The four sat down at a table in a corner and began whispering in hushed voices. Silver leaned forward, straining her hearing to hear a word of what they were saying.

"So you're saying that Kira has been killing criminals, and you believe is performing experiments?" Near asked carefully, examining papers that were on the table.

_Not the Kira case, _Silver thought dejectedly, _I don't want to get involved in that. At least not yet, _she grumbled.

"Zellogi," she whispered, "Do you see a way out? Without running into… them."

Zellogi floated upwards and Silver's heart skipped a beat before she remembered that the boys couldn't see him, he scanned the room and quickly floated back down. "Nope," he said loudly, causing Silver to jump, "The door is right next to them. You can't escape without hearing something, or being caught."

Silver sighed, "Trying to keep your voice down," she growled at him, stretching out her shoulders.

"Well," he said taking a step towards Silver, "You're the only one that can hear me!" He yelled in her face, causing her to jump backwards, right out from behind the bookshelf.

_Crap, I am really good at getting into trouble. _She bit her lip and turned to face the startled boys.

"I… uh… I was just… I swear I was -"

"Eavesdropping?" The blonde boy spat back at her.

"No! I wasn't," She said trying to calm her tone, "I sear, I was just… well thinking about my ways to… uh… escape so I wouldn't hear about the Kira case… and then… I uh, well," she was stumped.

_I can't just say that my Shinigami scared the bajeezus out of me, _she thought, getting frustrated, _this always happens. That prat of a Shinigami always gets me into situations where I can't explain myself, because I can't just prove his existence without-_

"Your ways to escape?" L asked, breaking her train of thought, "You don't want to hear about it?" He asked, pressing his thumb to his lips. "We often have trouble clearing the library because the students here are so eager to help me with my detective work.

Silver nervously shifted her weight, "Honestly?" she asked. L nodded, "Well," she continued, "No, not really. I'd sooner die than get involved with it… and I know that's kind of contradictory because I _am _at Wammy's and all… but… I… uh," she started to ramble, trying to think of some sort of excuse.

"You're rambling," Near stated.

Silver sighed, _life really isn't going my way today, _she thought sadly, thinking furiously for some sort of magic solution to the infinite amount of problems she was having today.

"I know!" She erupted finally, giving up on searching for the magic solution, "I just can't think of any sort of excuse to say to get me out of these situations… well," she said, thinking again, "Well, I _could _always run away screaming… but that kind of puts me in the crazy category… no, that wouldn't work."

_Maybe I should just shut up, _Silver suggested to herself absentmindedly, still trying to think of a solution out-loud. The three, (one was too busy playing a videogame), continued to stare at her in fascination as she continued to ramble off possible solutions.

"You told me in the car you didn't agree with Kira," L interrupted suddenly, "Wouldn't you want to know our plans to catch him?"

Silver didn't know what to say _again, _and found herself twiddling her thumbs, trying to hide her nervousness. "Can't you guys just tell me what you want to hear? I mean, seriously, what can I say to get out of this?" She moaned.

"Nothing!" The blonde boy yelled, "We caught you red-handed trying to steal information about the Kira case!"

"He's quite the enthusiastic one," Zellogi commented, and Silver sent him a quick glare.

"Mello," L said calmly, "Please calm down."

_I helped Near out earlier… he owes me a solid! _Silver thought happily, finally glad to have her solution. She sent Near a pleading look, trying to send the message. He looked back at her with slight confusion, and then shook his head.

"Is there something wrong, Near?" L asked thoughtfully. Near grumbled something inaudible before turning to L.

"Maybe she was just reading in the library like a normal person, we walked in and she didn't notice until we started talking. Maybe she wasn't eavesdropping. We should just let her leave." Silver mentally sighed in relief.

_Thank you Near! _She thought, counting her lucky stars.

"Near!" Mello bellowed, "She was totally eavesdropping! We even caught her! Right, Matt?" He asked the gamer sitting to the far left of the group. Silver turned her head in his direction, finally really noticing the third kid in the group. He was bent over a Nintendo DS battling furiously with his thumbs.

"Sure," he said coolly, "Whatever you say, Mello." He finished, his teeth clenched, not really paying to the conversation.

_Is any videogame really that difficult? _Silver thought to herself, staring at the boy. She was suddenly jerked out of her thoughts when she realized everyone was staring at her expectantly.

"Please," She begged, "I swear, I was just reading, it's a leisure activity that many people enjoy." She said casually, but Mello still looked angry. Near was looking annoyed at the interruption, and Matt was still playing his videogame. She turned her head towards L and stopped.

_Where did he even get cake? _She thought, noticing a cart full of sweets that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, _Must've happened when I was thinking. He sure is weird._

"I still can't get over the fact that you said you disagreed with Kira," L finally said, finishing his cake and setting his fork down.

Silver rolled her eyes, checking her watch, "I'm full of contradictions," she said carefully. L didn't reply and put his thumb on his lips again, thinking.

"I don't care anymore," Silver huffed, making her way for the door. Right as she was crossing the table, Mello stuck his foot out and tripped her.

She quickly fell to the ground, knocking the Death Note out of her pants causing it to fall out and fly across the room.

_Today is really not my day, _she thought sadly, staring dejectedly at the Death Note.

* * *

"_Had a bad day, had a bad day…" Bad Day, Daniel Powter_


	3. Forgive Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Forgive Me"

* * *

"What's that?" Mello asked, getting up.

Silver froze. She couldn't move, or even breathe. Her whole life could end… her whole second chance could end, if they found out what that notebook was.

_I could be put on death row! _She thought panicking; _I could be put on death row without even doing anything._

"Idiot!" She heard Zellogi yell, "I'm not getting in trouble because of you! Move, get the notebook!"

_He's right, _she thought, twitching her fingers, _I've got to move! _She yelled inwardly, standing up and tripping Mello just in time. She darted for the notebook, picked it up, and ran out of the door without missing a beat.

She raced past twenty kids, past the dining hall, past the toy room, her mind racing – trying to think of anywhere she could go.

"The roof,_" _She huffed, taking a flight of stairs and speeding up them, accidentally pushing down a kid in her path.

"Zellogi," she panted, "What am I going to do!" She yelled hysterically, "What if they find out about… _it_," she whispered, "About you! You're like a… like a living nightmare!"

"You're pretty brutal today."

Silver sighed, sinking to the ground. "I need to think, if I keep doing things without thinking I'll be caught.

"Stupid girl," Zellogi huffed, "Try to think about the situation realistically. Pretend that it's not happening to you," he said calmly, "Try to regain control of the situation."

Silver took a few deep breaths and stared up at him, "What next?"

"Think," he commanded, "Think about it. Did the _notebook _land face-up or face-down?"

"Face-down," She yelled at him, "But I don't see how that's an asset! I mean, think about it, the only thing keeping the police away from me is the fact that they didn't see the fact that it said 'Death Note'-" She stopped, thinking about what she just said.

Zellogi raised an eyebrow at her, "I really hate you," she growled at him, "One moment you're the dumbest person I've ever met, and the next you're as cunning as a fox."

He smiled evilly at her and sunk into the ground, disappearing. Silver huffed and headed towards her room, it was a risky plan, but it might just work.

When she got to her room she rummaged through the school supplies that had been dropped off. She rummaged through them, finally finding the notebooks.

"Why are there a bunch of colored notebooks in here?" She said angrily, tossing them aside. "Finally," she said happily, pulling out a fresh black notebook, "Good thing I have one."

She looked around her room, trying to find an adequate place to hide the Death Note. After a decent amount of time searching, she finally settled with putting it under her mattress for now.

Silver smiled as she carefully walked back to the library, _I really hope they aren't as smart as they claim, _she thought nervously, carefully sneaking a peek into the library to see Matt and Mello missing from the table. _I figured they'd be the ones to chase me, _she thought, staring at Near and L who were still talking.

"So you believe she is?" Near asked, neutrally.

"I do," L said calculating, "I'm about fifty-four percent sure."

_Nothing ever is one-hundred percent with him, _Silver thought growling.

"I suspected the same, but I'm only about sixteen percent sure," Near replied.

_Another percent, _Silver thought angrily, _Are they talking about me?_ She thought, but her thoughts were suddenly cut short when four arms raised her into the air. At first she tried to call out, but she realized that her voice had suddenly left her. She began to kick and thrash around, but to no avail.

_Gosh, this Mello and Matt kid have strong grips, _she thought irritably, giving up on trying to escape their grip.

"What do you want?" She said finally, regaining her voice.

"What was with that notebook?" He asked cruelly, dropping her in the center of their little group, "And why have you come back to spy on us, you little brat?"

"The notebook is none of your business," she gnarled, "And I'm spying now because I'm curious, you bastard!" She stopped suddenly when she noticed L pointing at her.

_He's kind of a dork, _she thought humorously, looking at him expectantly.

"I suspect you, Silver Smith, know something about the Kira investigation you aren't telling." She smirked, he was good.

_I really wish I could hide my emotions better, _Silver fumed, _I really can't have people thinking I'm Kira!_

"Why would I know anything about the investigation?" She asked defiantly, purposely dropping the notebook this time. She faked a small sound of discontentment as Mello reached down and picked up the notebook.

"We have your secrets now!" He said turning it over in his hands. "It's a…"

"That's right, you idiots!" Silver said happily, "It's a diary. If you weren't all so busy accusing me of being Kira or something, you would realize sometimes people are protective over their diaries, now give it back." She said, reaching her hand out expectantly. Mello handed it to be and walked away, a fresh scowl on his face. Matt sighed and followed, Near and L didn't do anything, but Silver was pretty sure that they weren't convinced.

Silver plopped down into her bed and closed her eyes, "Zellogi, I'm beat." She sighed, resting her head against the pillow.

"Skipping dinner?" He asked, laying down mid-air.

"Yeah, I've lost my appetite," she said calmly, standing up and walking over to the television that was across the room. "I wonder what movies they have," she wondered absentmindedly, opening up the shelf below the television.

She scanned over the selection, finally finding one, "Hey," she called over to Zellogi, "Jurassic Park is a classic, let's watch that."

"Does it have any death in it?" He asked, suddenly growing interested.

"I'm pretty sure," she said, scanning the back of the case, "I mean, I think a few people get eaten by some dinosaurs."

"Cool, pop it in," He said happily, taking up her bed. She sighed, grabbed a pillow, and made herself comfortable on the floor.

It was only about fifteen minutes into the movie when Near came in. Silver didn't notice and continued to shout at the television, Zellogi watching her extremely interested in the commotion she was making.

"Oh come on," she sighed at the television, "How can you not know that's a terrible idea? Dinosaurs are dangerous, you dumbass." She growled, and Near watched her through a crack in the door, confused.

"Oh no," she said, staring solemnly at the screen, "Poor cow. They should make special dinosaur food," she thought, pressing her finger to her lips, pondering the idea, "Yeah, then they wouldn't have to feed them live animals. Much more humane,"

"What are you doing?" Near interjected.

"Watching a movie," she replied simply, taking the remote and pausing the movie.

"Are you seriously analyzing this visual entertainment, attempting to find a humane solution?"

She pursed her lips and thought for a moment, "I guess so," she said, arranging her thoughts, "Don't you just think it would be better if we… or I wrote them a letter stating our… or my concerns?"

He shook his head and left the room, deciding against saying anything more. She continued to watch the movie, but decided to go to sleep after awhile. She had trouble sleeping that night, trying to keep her thoughts off the day.

_I almost got caught, _she thought intensely, _and now they suspect me of knowing something… maybe I should just tell them, everything would be so much easier, _she thought sleepily, falling asleep.

Suddenly, she was awoken by a noise. She stared around at her dark room, searching for her alarm clock. _Three A.M.? _She thought disbelievingly, staring across the room where the noise was coming from. She craned her neck and stared through the crack in the door, where Near had his room light on.

She slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed and walked sleepily into Near's room, "What're you doing up so late?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

He stared up at her from his puzzle, "I don't sleep much," he replied simply, continuing to pop puzzle pieces into his puzzle.

"Why not?" she yawned.

"I don't enjoy sleeping," He said, hugging a knee to his chest.

"That's a little weird," Silver commented, "You should sleep more, it's unhealthy to get so little sleep."

Near stared at her as she left, started to wonder why she even cared, but shook his head and continued to pop puzzle pieces into his puzzle with small, barely audible little _clicks._

It didn't take long for Silver to fall asleep again, she guessed probably around ten seconds. But, she was suddenly awoken again at six A.M., and this time wasn't entirely Near's fault.

"Near, I am going to beat you on the tests today!" Mello yelled at Near, Silver sighed, _not another one of these stupid fights. This is the second time I've been woken up, in a three hour period!_

"Mello," Silver growled, ruffling her messy hair, "Shut your trap!" She shouted, walking into Near's room, "And for God's sake," she sighed, "Put Near down."

"Why? Is he your boyfriend?" Mello teased.

"No, he's my _roommate, _we share a _door. _So guess what, Mello," she said, taking a step towards him, "I can _hear you at six in the god damned morning,_" she said threateningly, "And you just woke me up – I am no mood for your childishness. Leave. Now."

"I was about to leave anyway," Mello huffed, dropping Near with a _thud, _"I have to go get ready for the test."

"What test?" Silver asked when the door shut.

"It's a test to find your rank in the orphanage," Near said simply, "It's purpose is to find out who will be L's next successor," he sighed, "Nobody really pays attention to the ranks unless you're in the top five. I don't really pay attention to them at all," he finished, sounding bored.

Silver sighed, _great, another thing I have to prove. Sounds fun. _She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, grabbing a towel. She had just hopped into the shower and had started to relax when she saw something red.

"Uaahhh!" She shrieked, hopping out of the shower and throwing on a towel. She ran into Near's room quickly.

"What is it?" He asked unfazed.

"Shower!" She spluttered, trying to make sense, "Go see!" She finally managed. He sighed and walked into the bathroom.

"It's a bird," He said, walking out.

"I can't shower with that in there! Get it out!" She shouted, and Mello suddenly walked in.

"So she _is _your girlfriend Near?" He yelled at him, "You can't have everything, Near!" He finished, running out into the hallway. She didn't know what compelled her to run after Mello, especially after all the trouble he continually caused her, but something did. Maybe it was the tone of the voice, he actually sounded hurt.

"Mello, he isn't my boyfriend!" She called after him, but to no avail. He continued to run and Silver stopped, finally realizing the stares that she had attracted. Eventually she gave in and walked back to her room, thanking Near for getting rid of the bird.

When she finally managed to get ready she found that Zellogi had taken all of her books. She played his game for a half-an-hour before deciding to bite his head off. He reluctantly gave her her books back, and she trudged off to class.

When she finally managed to walk through the door she was four minutes late, but she didn't care, and neither did the teacher for that matter – she was too busy dealing with Mello.

Silver took notice of a list of names on the wall, last tests ratings. She scanned over them, but realized it was several pages long. On the very top, number one was Near. Somehow she wasn't really surprised, but she continued to scan down, Mello, then Matt, then Megan and Gregory. Near was right, she really only did care about the top five names.

The teacher suddenly walked in, holding onto Mello by the collar of his shirt. Silver quickly sat down and stared at everyone else in the room, wondering who everyone was.

The test was handed out quickly and Silver scanned over the sheet, _why is this so short? _She wondered, reading over everything, _it's just over ten questions long. _Then she remembered the list… _Mello's second to Near… and now he's mad at me… maybe he'll be glad if I score lower than him. _She thought happily, placing a wrong answer, or a grammatical error here and there.

She smiled when she completed the test, noticing that most of the students were still working on their tests, she noticed however that Mello and Near had already finished, Matt was finishing up the last question. She quickly walked to the front of the room and handed her test in.

She waited outside the classroom and Matt walked out a few seconds later and she stopped him in the hall, "Hey Matt," she called to him, "What is Mello's most favorite thing in the world."

"Chocolate," he replied easily, "Why?" He asked, not looking up from his Nintendo DS.

"I," she paused, thinking, "I guess I have to apologize." She decided to say, but she wasn't sure why. She really didn't have anything to apologize for, but for some reason she didn't want Mello to stay mad at her.

"Why?" He asked, suddenly looking up from his DS.

"I don't really know," She confessed, "But, this morning… something happened… he got really upset with me. He thought I was dating Near,"

"You can always check the kitchen, they're always very happy to give us sweets." He said, and Silver quickly thanked him, setting off to find the kitchen.

"Stupid Mello," Matt sighed, "He really needs to get over her." He finished, walking away.

* * *

"_So easy I can't explain it, anything I say to you is going to come out wrong anyway," – Concrete Seconds, Pinback_


	4. Falling Into Third

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Falling Into Third"

* * *

"_Stupid Mello," Matt sighed, "He really needs to get over her." He finished, walking away._

Silver was thinking about what Matt said, "Who?" she wondered aloud, looking down at the chocolate that she had just gotten from the kitchen. She had to resist eating it… but, she was in such a crappy mood that she really wanted to eat it and watch a sappy movie.

_That'd be awesome, _she grumbled, walking around trying to find Mello. She continued to walk through the barren halls of Wammy's House, looking for a way outside to check for Mello. Then, her mind suddenly started to drift towards the mornings events.

_Ugh, _she sighed, _Why am I doing this? I've barely known them for two days, why would he get so angry about something so stupid?_

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice a blonde-haired girl running down the hallway. The girl was too busy checking over her shoulder that she didn't see Silver and they collided, both of them landing on the ground with a heavy _thud._

"Oh," the girl gasped, getting up quickly, "I'm so sorry!" Silver's head was throbbing with pain, but it didn't matter, she was searching desperately for the chocolate bar that had been jostled from her grip during the fall.

"The chocolate," she gasped, feeling the ground for it, "Where is it?"

"This?" The girl asked, holding up the chocolate.

"Yeah," Silver panted snatching it from her, "That's it."

"Why're you so worked up over chocolate? Are you Mello or something?"

"No," she replied dejectedly, "I just need to apologize to him."

"I doubt _he'll _accept any apologies," she laughed, "But, heck, what'd you do?"

"I don't really know… thanks for giving it back to me though, it was a real pain to get," she thought, remembering how the cooks had tried to stuff her with food. She was sure she'd rejected forty offers for pudding before she'd managed to escape.

"No problem, my name's Sarah though, nice to meet you. What's your name?"

"Silver," she replied quickly, getting up.

"That's a cool name!" She said, staring at her, "It's the same as your hair color, is that why you chose it?"

"It was just simple… why'd you choose Sarah?"

"I kind of just wanted to be normal again when I got here, and I missed my mom… she died. So, I chose her name," she finished, smiling again.

"Oh," Silver said sadly, "Well, I have to get going, see you around." She finished, running towards the fields. She didn't have the luxury of time anymore; kids would start pouring out of classrooms any second – finishing the test.

She was gasping for hair by the time she reached the field, she doubled over and lay on her stomach in front of Mello, trying to catch her breath. It was three minutes before she was able to breathe normally again, and Mello was tapping his foot impatiently.

"What is it Silver?"

"I came to apologize," she said softly, and she noticed Mello tense, "I brought you some chocolate, though." She said, smiling, holding the chocolate bar up.

"Chocolate?" He asked quickly, looking at her hand.

"Yeah," she said, holding it up. He dove after it and she quickly moved her hand. "Are you cuckoo for cocoa puffs?" She teased, "Those a chocolate you know."

"You could say that," he breathed, not taking his eyes off the chocolate, "Now give it to me!"

"Fine," she said, holding her hand out, but quickly withdrew it when he snatched for the chocolate, "But tell me why you were so mad at me earlier!" She watched as his expression dimmed from happy to sad and for a second she felt kind of bad for asking. She held out the chocolate and he took it.

For a second he stood still, unwrapping the chocolate, and Silver stared at him expectantly. After a few moments passed he quickly walked away, beckoning her to follow him. After some time passed they reached a really tall tree and Mello sat down. Silver stared at him for a few moments and then sat down too.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to get angry with you… it's just that, well, I really liked this girl… and you remind me a lot of her. When I saw you… with Near… I just got angry." He finished and she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"What happened? Who was she?" Silver asked, a feeling of concern and slight guilt coming into her stomach, "I'm sorry…" she added.

"Don't be," he told her quickly, "And well, I've been at Wammy's for as long as I can remember, and I think I remember her coming here when I was ten. She's a lot like you… sort of. She liked to spy on people," Silver sighed.

"I was not spying," she claimed.

Mello smirked, "- and she was always apologizing for things she shouldn't. She was a real crybaby too,"

Silver gasped, "I am not a crybaby!" she said defensively.

"I heard about how you were practically crying when they killed a cow in Jurassic Park -"

"Not crying!" Silver tried, "My eyes were just… just… they were just watery, wait, why were people talking about me?"

"She also denied being a total crybaby," he said, avoiding her question, "That's pretty much it. I got to know her and eventually I kind of started to really like her… the day before she left though… I saw Near kissing her."

"Oh," Silver said sadly, looking down, "I hate stories like that." She said, raising her head to look at Mello's dim face, "I know just the thing!" She finished, grabbing Mello's hand and running back into the orphanage.

"Where're you taking me?" He yelled at her as she ran, she ran all the way to the kitchen and stopped suddenly, waiting for her breath to come back to her.

"What the hell?" He asked her once she caught her breath, "And seriously, you need to get fit."

She punched him in the arm, "I'm going to make you feel better!" She stated proudly, opening up the pantry, checking for the crazy cooks.

"What?"

"I am going to cram this stuff down your throat till you feel better," She said, smiling and holding up a can of chicken-noodle soup.

"Why?" he questioned.

"As far as I know there are two foods that are scientifically proven to make people feel better," She said, thinking, "One is chocolate and the other is chicken noodle soup, and since you eat chocolate all the time and you're still a jackass, I'm going to try soup," she finished, opening the can and putting it in the microwave.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how you make soup," he said, nervously watching the microwave, "And what makes you think you can make me eat it?" Silver thought about that for a moment and then went to the utensil drawer.

"Well," she said rummaging through it, "If you don't I'll hit you over the head with this rolling pin," she said, smiling sadistically and handing him a bowl of soup, "Now eat."

"Why do I feel like I'm in a bad 1950's cartoon?" Mello groaned, taking a spoon and eating the soup. He was about halfway through his soup when the door opened behind them. Silver looked around to see L, walking in his normal hunched position.

"Hello, L," she greeted casually, forgetting how suspicious she looked, hunched over Mello with a rolling pin.

"Hello," he greeted back, "Why does it look like you're about to seriously injure Mello?"

"Well," she started, "I made some soup, and I had to make sure he ate it," she said nervously, trying to hide the rolling pin behind her back.

"I see," L said, observing the two, "Why are you making him eat soup?" He asked, and Silver looked at Mello, who begged her not to tell L about the girl.

"He was sad?" She said, her words sounding more like a question than a statement.

"Not hungry?" L questioned.

"Well," she started nervously, "I don't know if he was hungry or not."

"I was," Mello butted in.

"Were you sad because of an infatuation with a girl?" L asked quickly.

"No!" Mello yelled defensively, too defensively. L noticed this and turned to Silver, "Thank you for helping with Mello's heartbreak." He said and then promptly left.

"I do not have an infatuation with anybody!" Mello yelled before getting up. He stopped however and cowered when he saw Silver hunched over him with the rolling pin again.

"Finish. The. Soup." She said threateningly, and he looked at her, and then the rolling pin. He quickly considered his options, and then he grabbed the bowl and quickly drank all of the broth, and probably even swallowed some noodles whole. Then he got up and sped out of the room after L.

_Does he think that liking somebody makes him weak? _Silver wondered, and then a few seconds later Matt strolled in, bursting with laughter.

"Good job, Smith," he said between giggles, "Nobody has _ever_ made Mello cower."

"Nobody?" She asked him.

"Nope, nobody."

"It was so… easy though."

"I guess you're just scary."

"Maybe," she considered, "Hey," she called to him, "Why did you send me to the kitchen?" She asked holding up her rolling pin, "You must have known that the cooks would try to kill me with food!"

Matt stuttered for a few seconds and then quickly darted out of the room. Silver sighed and walked back to her room. She opened the door and checked in Near's room, and found him reading a dictionary with a confused look on his face.

"Near…" She started cautiously, honestly not really wanting to know what he was doing, "What're you doing?" She asked, the words escaping from her mouth before she thought it over.

"Why did a girl turn pink in the face because I took a leaf out of her hair?"

Silver suppressed a giggle, "Near, you can't seriously not know what that is."

"I don't… is it common knowledge?"

"To most people, yeah," she said, giggling lightly, "Then again, now that I think about it, you really don't seem to be the type who'd know too much about that stuff."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's called blushing, silly," she said seriously, "And give me that." She finished, snatching the dictionary out of his hands.

"Blushing? I know what that is… but that's because you're embarrassed or ashamed… how could she have been…?" He asked her.

"She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed," Silver said, yawning, "It means she probably likes you."

"Oh." Near replied simply.

"So… who is she?" Silver questioned.

"Who is who?"

"Who is the girl?" Silver begged.

"I think her name is Rain," Near said, pausing in thought.

"Do you like her?"

"Not really, I'm not friends with her, but I'm not annoyed by her."

"So you don't have an infatuation with her?"

"No," Near stated firmly, "I do not."

"Oh… okay," Silver replied, sighing in defeat. She left his room and lay on her bed. It was only six P.M., but she hadn't noticed that she'd been talking to Mello that long. She was so tired that her eyelids began to droop and she fell asleep.

* * *

She awoke with a start the next morning to a lot of running and yelling in the hallways. She looked up and craned her neck to see Near, who was still in his room, doing that old puzzle yet again.

_One day, _Silver yawned, _I'll get him another puzzle to do._

"Hey, Near," she called out to him, "What's going on?"

"Yesterdays test scores have been posted in the lunch room," He said quietly.

"Oh, great," Silver said sarcastically, running a brush through her hair and throwing some fresh clothes on. She left the room slowly, and when she got to the lunch room she was immediately tackled.

"Stop tackling me, Sarah." Silver panted once Sarah had finally gotten off of her and she had dusted herself off.

"Congratulations, Silver!" Sarah exclaimed, grabbing Silver in a bone-crushing hug.

"On what?" Silver asked confused.

"You don't know?" Sarah asked, disbelieving.

"Well… no… I don't know." Silver replied.

"Follow me," Sarah said, tugging her arm and pulling her through the large crowd around the sheets with the test scores. After she succeeded in pulling her to the front of the crowd Silver glanced nervously at the sheet.

Silver gasped in horror as she saw the worst possible thing to ever be printed on paper printed on the sheets.

_First, Near, _she thought nervously, _Second, Silver, _she sighed, _Third, Mello. _After that, everything was the same. Everything was normal, everything was perfect. Now, everything was ruined. She had made up with Mello, and finally gotten his forgiveness.

_I… I have to work on the Kira case, _she thought, horrified. She didn't understand, she thought that she had done phenomenally well, failing the test and all. Something just wasn't right, she had _deliberately _gotten a few wrong, and she didn't even know the answers to a few of them.

She was too engrossed in her own thoughts to notice Mello coming up from behind her. Her placed an arm on her shoulder in a friendly way, and she was slightly surprised.

_Why is he acting friendly towards me? _She thought, looking at him.

"Hey," he greeted, "What place did you get?"

_He hasn't seen it yet, _she thought, quickly placing her hand over the top five names of the list, trying to think of a quick solution.

He scanned the names below the top five and then turned his head back towards her, "You got into the top five? That's great!" He said taking her hand off the sheet. His face grew darker and Silver tried to think of something to say.

He turned to her and stared at her, his expression almost in disbelief. It was hard for her to believe… just a second ago he had been very joyous and happy, a happy teen that she could say she somewhat knew… and now she couldn't even move.

_I'm sorry, Mello._

* * *

"_I am waiting for something to go wrong, I am waiting for a familiar resolve," – Expo '86, Death Cab For Cutie_


	5. Mistakes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Mistakes"

* * *

Silver froze… she didn't know what was going to happen. She was scared that he would yell at her, or refuse to be her friend, or that he would treat her like Near.

_Will he… hit me? _She thought, and then smacked herself mentally. Sure, Mello was annoying, selfish, hard to get along with, over-emotional, and he had a lot more defects, but she knew he would never, ever, ever trying to hit her.

"M-Mello…?" She asked nervously.

"What, do you want to rub it in my face?" He yelled at her, "I thought you were cool, but now you're just like Near," He huffed, turning around, "I'm never talking to you again," he whispered solemnly, storming off. Silver began to slowly crawl back into the pit of depression she'd dug herself many years earlier… but maybe it was for the best, that way she wouldn't have to burden anybody else by relying on them.

She slowly trudged back to her room and lay down on the bed. She wanted to cry and scream into her pillow until her voice was gone and her pillow was too wet to sleep on, but she didn't have that luxury. She wouldn't cry, she didn't want to worry Near or let him see her that way, and she didn't want to give Mello the satisfaction.

"What happened?" Near asked her in his usual monotone, not a trace of sympathy for her, just another random question.

"Mello hates me." She whispered.

"You beat him?" He asked sounding a little shocked.

"Yeah," she moped, "I'm second. Maybe if I could go talk to Roger," she thought, "Maybe he'll let me lower my score to number four… or even last!" She thought, turning slightly happier, "Then I can bake him a chocolate cake."

"Why do you want to be at the bottom?"

"That's easy," she said, positioning herself so she could face Near. She rested her chin on her elbows and smiled, "So he won't hate me."

"You enjoy his company?"

"I don't really know," She smiled again, thinking about the few days they'd spent together, "He's a total ass, but, yeah, I do. It's easy to smile around him, and despite his harsh side I can tell he genuinely cares about the people that have gotten close to him."

"Oh," Near said, appearing to think deeply about what she had just said, "However, I don't think Roger will lower your score, and even if you did convince him I'm pretty sure L would disagree right away. L would like to work with you on the Kira case, in fact, his influence might be why you're number two." Silver sighed.

"That must be why I got second, I had tried to fail that test and I was sure I'd done a good job," Silver thought, thinking of the test, "This all makes a lot more sense to me now."

"You purposely got a few incorrect?" He asked, almost disbelievingly.

"Yeah, I really wanted to avoid this," she said, getting up and deciding that she would at least try to get Roger to lower her score. When she had left the room she was surprised when she ran into Rain.

"Hey Silver," she greeted brightly, "I was just going to talk to Near."

"He's not in," She wasn't sure why she lied, and she didn't even remember opening her mouth… she didn't even know why whenever she saw Rain she turned into some malicious sadistic freak.

_Why do I feel like her falling down a few flights of stairs wouldn't be the worst thing in the world? _Silver asked, but that wasn't the heaviest thing on her mind, _… why does it hurt whenever I see him talking to her?_

She shook her head, trying to shake the thoughts out of her brain when she noticed Rain was talking again.

"- tell him I say hey," she was saying, "I mean, he's just so _dreamy_ and _cute_, you know?" She gushed, turning on a heel and walking away.

"More than you know," She mumbled, surprising herself, she had just said another thing that she hadn't permitted herself to say.

"What?" Rain asked, turning around.

"Nothing," Silver said quickly, "Why do you even like about him anyway?" She said, trying to sound disgusted like Mello, but she didn't do a very good job of it. Rain was so oblivious to everything going on that she didn't even notice.

_To say the least she's not very observant, _Silver giggled inwardly.

"Oh," she sighed dreamily, "You know, his hair is so fluffy and pretty it could pass for a cloud… and he's just so sweet,"

_Sweet? _Silver scoffed in her head, _He's apathetic, how can he be sweet? Sweet guys are just annoying… always coddling. Near doesn't think I'm fragile and have to be coddled, but he's not mean… he's just right…_

"- and he makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside." She finished and Silver held back the urge to vomit. She quickly looked away so Rain couldn't see the rage in disgust that were hiding in her eyes.

"Well," she said, struggling to speak, "I'm sure he feels the same, sorry Rain, but I have to get going." She finished, pushing past her. She was surprised at how controlled her own voice sounded, because internally she was a mess. Mello, and now Near too.

"Oh, and I forgot," Rain started, completely oblivious of Silver's many attempts to get past her, "You know what is my absolute most favorite thing about him?" She gushed again.

"What?" Silver was surprised, her voice sounded more like an order than a question, she wanted Rain to just tell her what the hell it was and let her get past her.

"He," she started ominously, "_is all mine,_" She finished dreamily, and it took all of Silver's will power not to punch her square in the face, but she couldn't help muttering many as many insults as she could as she marched to Roger's office.

When she finally arrived at the large wooden door with a sign that marked it as "Roger's Office", Silver sharply knocked twice on the door. After hearing a muffled 'come in', she entered, pushing the door open.

When Roger saw her enter his face brightened a lot and he opened his mouth to speak, "Congrat-"He started.

"Save it," Silver said, cutting him off with a wave of her hand, "I came here to have my test score lowered, and I expect it to be."

"May I ask why?" He asked, concerned.

"I finally made my first friend here," Silver smiled, "Mello," she said and noticed how the expression on his face turned from happy to extremely shocked when she mentioned Mello as her first friend in the orphanage, "And I'm afraid my test score ruined it," she said, noticing how glum her voice turned, "I'd like to be moved to third, just swap our places, or if possible I'd like to rank last."

"Mello is the competitive type," She heard a observant voice mention from behind, she glanced to her left and saw L sitting in a chair, shoving a cupcake into his mouth. This time she didn't jump or shriek, she was used to seeing L in unexpected places.

"I'm sorry, L," she said, speaking directly to the strange detective, "Near mentioned that you want to work on the Kira case with me, but losing Mello's friendship isn't worth it."

"I'm sorry, Miss Smith," Roger spoke up, "I can't lower your score, you'll hjave to find other means of regaining your friendship with Mello. If that is all, we're done here." He said, dismissing her. She sighed with defeat and stepped toward the door.

"Silver, is it?" L asked, she gave a curt nod and turned toward him, "Our first meeting on the Kira case with you as a team member is at four this afternoon," he smiled at her, "Please do not be late." She nodded again and left the room, angry. She walked brusquely down the hallway, heading towards Mello's room.

She walked down several hallways and turned sharply, ignoring anyone in the hallway who tried to talk to her. At the very least she could tell him she was sorry, but when she knocked Matt answered instead.

"Mello's out," Matt said in monotone, not bothering to look up from his DS. It was rare for him to talk in monotone, so Silver was angry that he greeted her that way, she snatched his DS and closed the lid.

"Don't greet me like that!" She shouted at him.

"Give that back!" He yelled at her, "This is a matter of life and death!"

"Greet me normally," she pouted. "You're not getting this back yet," she added, holding up the DS.

"Why?" He asked, standing up to his full height, which was several inches taller than Silver and snatched his DS back.

"Because I'm upset," she said attempting to push past him into his room, "And you're going to comfort me."

"Why're you upset?" He asked, pulling her out of his room, looking at her. He was concerned, and a part of Silver that wasn't moping about Mello was kind of happy that he was. Her friend count just moved back up to one.

"I'm number two… I took his spot. Now he won't talk to me,"

"You're upset… why? I mean, I love the fact you took his spot – you pushed me to fourth. It was getting really hard to pretend I actually cared about all that stuff," He smiled, ruffling her hair.

"Yeah, now I have that burden," Silver sighed, "And I'm upset because I thought Mello was one of my friends."

"Okay," He gave in, "Come in." He said, opening his DS, Silver watched as he tapped a few buttons at light speed, and then turned it off. "You almost killed me," He said lightly, letting her into the room. She gasped when she saw a small box on the bed.

"Are these yours?" She yelled, holding up the box.

"Yeah, why?" He asked, uninterested.

"These will kill you, you know!"

"So what?"

"I can't believe you smoke!"

"I'm fourteen; I don't have parents, so why do you care?"

"I am thirteen and I am smart enough to know these will kill you! Im not letting you have these." She said, pocketing them.

"Brat," he called to her, walking towards the bed. "What're you thinking about?" He asked her, noticing her expression.

"I was just trying to remember how Mello and I even became friends," she paused, thinking, "I mean, he tried to push me down… and was extremely rude… I guess sharing secrets made us close. Say, who was that girl that I remind Mello of?" Silver asked suddenly.

"Oh you mean Mayani?"

"If Mello had a crush on her… and she kissed Near… she can only be like fifteen at the most right?" Silver inquired.

"Nope, she is fourteen, like us. Near is even fourteen… why do we even hang out with a kiddie like you?" He joked. She growled at him, but for the most part ignored his comment on her age.

"You can't leave the orphanage till your sixteen right?"

"Oh, she didn't leave. She went on some exchange student trip to France; she'll be coming back in… today."

"So, she kissed Near before she left?"

"Yeah."

"Wait, did you say today? No wonder he was edgier, today is going to be rough for Mello, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Matt sighed, Silver sighed too and looked away. For awhile they sat in a comfortable silence, and Silver hadn't even known they existed until today. Then, the door suddenly opened to reveal a very distraught Mello.

He sighed heavily, not looking up, "Hey Mat-" he stopped, staring at Silver, "What the hell are you doing here?" He fumed.

"I was upset, so I consulted a friend!" She retorted, pointing at Matt.

"I had nothing to do with it," He said, raising his arms up, "She took my DS, then my smokes. I had to listen to 'er." He said defensively, pushing her head off his shoulder.

"Well, aren't you a loyal friend," Silver said to Matt.

"Like you can talk about loyalty, you're just a power hungry bitched!" Mello shouted at me, turning back towards the door.

"Well," Silver said, taking in a large breath, "At least I'm not in love with somebody who will never love me! I can't see what Mayani would ever see in someone like you!" She yelled, and Mello's fists clenched, "You're just a jealous little boy that wants everything he can't have!"

Silver immediately hated herself for bringing up Mayani. She knew what heartbreak felt like… she even knew what loneliness felt like. She also knew what it was like to have someone bring it up; to poke at your weaknesses. It was just twisting the knife after you stabbed someone, "Mello…" she tried, reaching out to him.

"What, Silver?" He asked, painfully quiet, "I told you that and now you think you can torment me? I really underestimated you," He said quietly, pain sticking to his words. He left the room, slamming the door behind him. Silver threw Matt's DS at him and left the room, slamming it behind her. Through the door she could just barely hear Matt sigh and go back to playing his game.

* * *

"_Nothing's going to change the things that you said, and nothing's going to make this right again," – Perfect, Simple Plan _


	6. You're Finished

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"You're Finished"

* * *

Silver thought that perhaps she could just walk around the orphanage for a couple of hours until the meeting, then Mello would _have _to talk to her, of course it would be strictly business; but he would still be talking to her. Sarah had other plants though, because the second she saw Silver she immediately glomped her and demanded she'd tell her what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked, looking at Silver's face. Silver was pretty sure she looked like a wreck – she probably had tear stained cheeks, red eyes, and an overly-worn expression.

"Everything," She said, giving up.

"Well," Sarah said, picking her up onto her feet, "I have all the time in the world… or at least like thirty years," she giggled, "So you can tell me!" She finished, her perky tone turning concerned. She dragged Silver to the second floor of the library – all the way to the back corner. In the short time Silver had managed to know Sarah she'd managed to tell her her most favorite spot in the world.

"So tell me," Sarah asked, sitting down on the ground next to Silver, "What's bothering you? Start with the biggest."

"Rain," Silver said quickly, surprised, she had planned on saying Mello, but Rain slipped out. She had tried to convince herself that Rain wasn't worrying her, but she was. Silver was scared of her. She was scared whenever Near smiled at her, and she was scared whenever Rain talked about how much she loved him. Silver was scared of losing Near, for a reason she couldn't fully comprehend.

"The weather?" Sarah asked dumbly.

Silver smiled, "No, a girl that goes here – her name is Rain."

"Oh!" Sarah said, proud of her sudden epiphany, "That girl that's obsessing over Near?"

"Yes," Silver said, slightly embarrassed.

"What are you so worried about, then? She's totally crazy,"

"I-I think I m-might," She stuttered, taking a deep breath, "I think I might like Near."

"Oh!" Sarah said, slightly shocked, "Well, then Rain is finished," she finished in a terminator voice. _A very, very terrible terminator voice, _Silver thought, smiling.

"That can't be the only thing that you're being bothered by," Sarah said insightfully, "What's the second thing?"

"Mello hates me… and I did a very, very terrible thing." Silver said shakily.

"What did you do?"

"I-I said something about Mayani…" Silver said carefully, and Sarah gasped.

"You didn't!"

"I did. How do you know about Mayani?"

"Believe it or not, Mello and I used to be friends, still are actually," She said, thinking, "We're just not as close as we used to be."

"How do I fix it?" Silver begged.

"Well," Silver said, rummaging through her bag, "When I saw you and Mello we're starting to be friends, and then I saw that you placed second, so I asked one of the cooks to make me one of these," Silver gulped. _The cooks. _

"You like the cooks?" Silver asked, horrified.

"Yeah, they're all super nice."

_I swear it's just me, _Silver thought sadly. Silver widened her eyes when she saw Sarah pull out a very large, ten-pound chocolate bar, engraved with the words "I'm Sorry".

"Anyways, thanks to that comment, this won't be enough anymore… but I think it will buy you time."

"You make it sound like some sort of secret mission," Silver laughed.

"That's a great idea!" Sarah exclaimed, "That way we can get Matt in on it!"

"What? Why do you want Matt in on it?" Silver asked, staring at Sarah. She blushed slightly and put her hand on the back of her head in nervousness.

"Well… he is Mello's best friend. He would know how to win Mello's friendship back." Silver nodded and the two silently made their way to the room Mello shared with Matt.

When they got there Sarah didn't even knock. She quietly told Silver to sit on the side where she would be out of sight when she opened the door. Once Silver had sat down, carefully out of the way, she burst through the door.

"Hey boys!" She greeted surprisingly, "It's been awhile!"

"Hey, Sarah," Mello said in a surprising monotone. Silver grimaced from outside.

"Hey, Mello," Sarah said in a mocking voice, trying to mimic his, "Cheer up, Mello," She said brightly, "Look at what I have." She said, grunting as she held up the heavy chocolate.

"Where'd you get that?" He asked disbelievingly.

"From Silver," Sarah said quietly, "She's really sorry." She finished, throwing the chocolate at Mello and it landed on his stomach with a disconcerting _plop, _followed by a pained groan.

"I can't resist chocolate… tell Smith I threw it away." He said, unwrapping it and biting into it.

"Mello," Sarah sighed, "You and your pride. Well," She said, turning around, "I need to talk to Matt, so see you around, Mello." She finished, pulling Matt out of the room.

Matt looked up from his DS after Sarah had shut the door and stared at Silver, "Planning to win Mello's friendship back by using me?" He asked, his tone bored.

Sarah gasped with pretend shock, "Am I that readable?"

Matt sighed, "No, it's just that I'm thir-" he glanced at Silver, "I mean fourth at Wammy's, so I guess I'm not stupid."

"What do I do?" Silver begged, hanging her head in her hands.

"How should I know?" Matt asked, tapping vigorously on his DS.

"You _are _his best friend, aren't you? Shouldn't you know him better than anyone?" Silver exclaimed, and Matt looked down at her in disbelief.

He paused his game and thought about it for a moment, "That's a funny way to put it," he said, thinking, "I guess you could say that. We're certainly what people would consider best friends; but really, the only reason is because I'm the only one who can tolerate him all the time, 'sides Near. He hates Near, though."

"I don't understand why Near can tolerate him," Silver commented, and Matt glanced at Sarah and then back at Silver. Silver guessed that they had some sort of telepathic conversation. She decided that she didn't really care to know and decided on moving on with the subject, "How do I make Mello like me again? As a friend?" She asked desperately.

"I really don't know," Matt said, thinking, "Try doing something unexpected – something drastic. I think he's bi-polar though, so have fun with that." He finished, turning on his heel and heading back into the room. Silver sighed and walked back to her room, leaving Sarah behind to talk with the boys. It was nearing the time of the meeting… but Silver felt no urge to go.

She spent an hour in her room, not really doing anything. She was listening to her iPod, trying to drown out the noise of Zellogi talking to her. Suddenly, she realized it was time for the meeting; and luckily the library was just down the hallway. She grabbed her iPod and left her room.

A rock song by an artist she couldn't remember the name of, something she'd never really been able to do, was blasting in her ears as she walked slowly, painfully slow, to the library. She opened the doors and was a whopping five minutes late.

Mello, Near, and L turned around to see if it was Silver who was entering. L looked slightly angry, Mello looked angry… and even a little upset, and Near…well, apathetic.

L said something and Silver gestured to her earpiece, she took it out and set her iPod on the table, and the music was so loud it could be heard across the library, even with the earpiece still in.

"Why aren't you deaf?" Mello asked, unconcerned. Silver shrugged and turned her iPod and cell phone off.

"You're late," L said sternly.

"Sue me," she retorted, and Mello and Near looked at her in disbelief. She had just back-talked to L, the famous detective that she was lucky to work with. L ignored her comment and they went back to work on their case.

"I think he needs a name and a face to kill." Near said plainly.

_So, _Silver thought, _they've figured that much out._

"Let's test it." L said firmly.

"You're going to kill an innocent person!" Silver shouted and then grimaced; she was getting really good at blowing her cover. Zellogi cackled from behind her.

"How do you know they're going to die?"

"Just a hunch, you're putting them at risk."

"I was going to put a death row inmate on TV, air it in each country, and see if they die."

"Okay." Silver replied, trying to keep her cool. That was all they said on the manner, and then they went back to discussing Kira. Silver eventually tuned out – she already knew how Kira killed, how he obtained his power, and why he was doing it.

_I could find Kira too, _Silver thought indignantly, staring at the faces around her, _they wouldn't have a lifespan below their name. _Minutes before the meeting, she had decided to make the deal with Zellogi for the Shinigami eyes.

She stared at the three that sat before me, their real names out in the open for everyone to see. Before her sat Nate River, L. Lawliet, and Mihael Keehl. She was a little surprised at their names, but didn't let it show on her face.

After a few moments of silence she decided that she should look at least somewhat intrigued, "So," she said casually, "We think that he needs a name and a face… and you're planning on airing it in each country individually – to try and isolate his location?" She asked and L nodded, "So if this theory is proven correct, we will have to be careful about whom we show our faces to."

When the meeting had finally ended she left in a huff and walked back to her room, and lay on her bed. It was still early in the evening, but she felt extremely tired. She couldn't help it as her eyelids drooped and she started to nap – the music from her iPod still screaming into her ears.

* * *

She woke up with a start to the sounds of lots of running in the hallway and Near sitting protectively in front of her door, fumbling with the lock.

"What'd going on Near?" Silver asked rubbing her eyes, staring at the clock.

_It's nine A.M.? _She thought horrified, _How long did I sleep for?_

"Mayani just came back," He said, finally locking the door. "Her flight got delayed, so she just arrived.

"Oh," Silver sighed, "Are you just going to hide out in here all day?" She asked and Near gave a sharp nod and went back to playing with his finger-puppets. Silver exited the room and walked around the orphanage for an hour. Eventually she wandered into the courtyard when she saw a huge crowd around a picnic table.

There was Mayani, or Megan Miles, sitting with Rain, or Rochelle Rickett, and then there was Near. The sight was absolutely horrifying to Silver, just terrifying. She saw Mello under a tree fifty feet away, watching the scene. Mayani and Rain were huddled over Near, kissing his cheeks and fighting for his attention, while all the other boys were fighting for attention from Rain or Mayani.

The only part of the scene that was satisfying for Silver was that Near looked completely, and utterly disgusted. Suddenly a loud, screeching, sound came bursting out of Silver. It started in her chest, grumbling and bursting out of her mouth.

"YOU BITCH!" The sound… it was earsplitting, screeching, grotesque, monstrous, surreal, and the second it left her mouth everything was still – everyone was still. Heads turned and eyes stared, and to her utter discontent, Roger and L were sitting in the courtyard.

* * *

"_All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun," – Pumped Up Kicks, Foster the People_


	7. Choosing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Choosing"

* * *

The scenery around Silver was moving, and she wasn't sure why until she looked at her feet. She was moving… without her consent.

_Oh great, _she thought sadly, _Now I have no control over my actions. _She sighed, approaching Mayani in three strides.

"What the hell is you-" She was suddenly interrupted by a pair of small hands grasping hers and pulling her away, they pulled her across the courtyard, across the orphanage, and finally stopped in the middle of a hallway somewhere. Silver was too dumbstruck by her actions to have even really noticed what was happening.

"What happened back there?" Asked a small voice, and Silver continued to stare out a window, not looking at the mysterious person.

"Well," she sighed, turning around, "That Mayani chick back there is a real bee with an itch, if you catch my, uh," She paused, not seeing anybody behind her. She looked the other way again, but was interrupted when something tugged at her shirt. She looked back down the hallway and then down.

"Hi," said a little girl, and Silver was shocked at how true the term 'little' fat her. She was maybe, just maybe three feet tall.

"Hi?" Silver replied, standing in confusion for a few moments.

"You should be careful," the small girl informed her, "Mr. Rogers and Mr. L don't like it when you use a swear," she said calmly, staring happily up at Silver.

"Who're you?" Silver asked, still standing in the hallway with a blank look on her face.

"My name is Lilly!" She said happily, her smile growing larger on her face, and Silver wasn't even sure how that was humanly possible.

"How old are you?" Silver asked simply again, staring at her height now.

"I'm six and one quarter… or two eighths… or four sixt-"

"You seem short," Silver cut her off.

"Yeah," Lilly replied cheerfully, like it was the biggest discovery in the world, "I'm two feet and eleven inches! Greta measured me this morning," She said, checking in the pockets of the dress she was wearing, "Here it is!" She said pulling out a red lollypop. "She gave me this for growing," she finished, popping the candy into her mouth.

"Why did you take me here?" Silver asked, still not managing to connect the dots.

"You were going to get into trouble," Lilly said, her once extremely happy face turning into an extremely sad one, "And… well," she stuttered, "I like you, so I didn't want you to get in trouble," she said, hugging Silver's thigh, "I also don't like those bee's you were talking about; if Near doesn't like them, then I don't either!" She paused, beckoning Silver down to whisper into her ear.

"I like Near," She whispered and then backed away covering her mouth as if she'd just said something bad.

Silver smiled and ruffled her hair, "Thanks," she said happily, causing Lilly's smile to grow even more, "What do you want to do then?"

"Eat!" She said jumping in excitement and running down the hall, her light brown hair flopping out of her canary yellow headband. She sharply turned the corner and Silver stood there shocked. After about ten seconds her head popped out from the corner, "You coming?"

"Yeah," Silver sighed and walked by her, after just a few seconds of walking she turned to Silver and made a puppy face.

"Can… can I have a piggyback ride?" She begged. Silver looked down at her, surprised. Silver thought about it for a minute and decided that Lilly was too cute to deny, so she knelt down and let her get on her back. She weighed hardly anything, probably due to the fact she wasn't even three feet tall, and was easy to carry. When she got to the lunchroom she wasn't surprised that it was full, but was surprised to see that none of her friends were there. She didn't see Sarah, Matt, Near, or even Mello – who never missed a meal out of fear of missing a chocolate-flavored desert.

She sighed, and quickly grabbed two lunch bags, still managing to balance Lilly on her back, and then quickly walked outside. To her utter shock all of her friends were sitting under a tree talking… together. Even Near, and on top of that Mello wasn't even yelling at Near for sitting _next to him._

"Hey, guys!" She called out to them, and they frantically said something to each other before looking up.

"Hey, Silver!" Sarah called, beckoning her over. Mello looked peeved to see her, but Near and Matt looked quite happy that she was going to eat lunch with them… well, Near wasn't really showing any emotion, but he had a small smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

"Hey, Mello," She said, flashing him a smile, "Hey, guys," she included, setting Lilly down, handing her the lunch she had gotten her. Lilly quickly ran over to Near and laid against him as she ravenously attacked her peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.

"Who's that?" Sarah asked.

"Why is she laying on me?" Near asked, his tone slightly confused.

"That's Lilly," Silver explained to Sarah, "She's the one that saved me from that… little situation… from earlier," She paused, sending Near a look that explained his question.

"Oh yes," Sarah exclaimed, "I was meaning to ask you, what _was _that… situation about? We all know Mayani isn't the nicest girl here… but what compelled you to… I don't know, freak like that?"

"Yes, please tell!" Matt said in a jokingly girly voice, but Silver could tell that he really wanted to know. Silver shook her head and stood up, walking away out of earshot and beckoning Sarah to follow.

"To tell you the truth," Silver sighed once Sarah had reached her, "I don't know why I did it," she said, shaking her head, "I just… reacted. I saw Mello," she paused remembering his pained expression, she never wanted to see Mello like that again… "Then I saw Near… and Mayani… and I just couldn't control myself." She finished, trying to make sense of it.

"How juicy," Sarah gushed, giggling a little bit.

"It's not funny!" Silver yelled back, catching the attention of Near, Mello, Matt, and Lilly. They looked down after a few seconds, "What's wrong with me? Was I just jealous? Or could I… no, I can't!" She exclaimed, holding her head in her hands.

"I admit," Sarah said calmly staring at the boys, "He's a good catch, and I think it goes both ways too. I'm not so sure about Near though," She said, holding hand to her chin in thought.

"If we talk about this much longer I think they're going to start to eavesdrop," Silver said, walking back to the group, leaving Sarah behind.

_I can't like Mello, _she thought desperately, throwing on a happy face for the boys, _I mean… he's rude, he has PMS, and he's just all around hard to get along with… but at least he has feelings… or at least he shows them. _Silver thought, glancing at Near.

_There's just no way out of this, _she thought, a slight, dull pain beginning to creep into her heart, _There's no escaping it… I have to choose. The question is which one…_

_Mello or Near?_

* * *

"_Two princes kneel before you, that's what I said now, princes, princes who adore you, just go ahead now," – Two Princes, Spin Doctors_


	8. Emergencies, Why?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Emergencies, Why?"

* * *

Silver couldn't sleep peacefully that night, she kept tossing and turning… trying to decide between Mello and Near, it was impossible… but she knew that if she didn't choose she'd end up hurting both.

On one hand there was Mello; he was handsome, she could understand him better, he… he showed his emotions, and in the long run she was sure that she'd have experienced many things she normally never would; life would be a ride she would never forget.

On the other hand was Near, he was cute, she couldn't understand him all, but she was never one to back away from a challenge, he didn't show his emotions with him, and she couldn't imagine going on adventures with him, but that was okay, too. With him she'd have a sense of security that she was sure that she'd never really grasp with Mello.

She sighed, _it's not like I'm in love with them, that's a major relief, they're just so different, it's hard to see the reason why I like both. Cute or handsome? And she was pretty sure she could find a way to get to know Near, but the end of knowing him she'd probably even be able to write a book about him._

But, there was the major problem that Near hid his emotions… that would always be a problem. _How would I ever know he felt the same way? How could I ever feel comfortable showing my emotions around him if he never showed his?_

Silver turned over again. Finally managing to find a spot that felt just a little bit comfortable… and she managed to fall asleep around four in the morning, and she woke with a start at seven. She had been dreaming about her choice… but she never remembered her dreams. She remembered how she felt… and sometimes she'd remember some small detail.

But the dream was itching at her mind… she remembered feeling sad, and that was all she could salvage from her torn memory.

_That means… if I choose the one I chose in my dream I'll end up heartbroken, _she sighed, holding her head in her hands again, _Way to stress the situation even more, Silver. Great move, _she sighed, lying back down, closing her eyes, beginning to try and rest.

Time seemed to melt into the background for Silver with her eyes closed; she was finally where she wanted to be. After what felt like a few minutes to her she heard screaming coming from down the hallway.

Her door suddenly burst open and Lilly came running in carrying an unplugged alarm clock, crying her eyes out.

"What is it, Lilly?" Silver asked concerned, and Lilly held up the alarm clock, trying to show the time but noticed that it was unplugged. Silver glanced over at hers to see that it was 9:08; _I've been laying here for two hours? _She thought surprised, _it really only felt like a few minutes._

"It's nine in the morning," Silver said dumbly, staring at Lilly.

"No," Lilly yelled at her, hitting her over the head, "It's 9:08 in the morning, on the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year of the century!" she screamed, hugging herself tightly.

"Cool date," Silver remarked, "What's the problem then?"

Silver closed her eyes tightly as Lilly hit her again, "It's the apocalypse," Lilly shouted again, hugging herself again.

A light bulb suddenly went off in Silver's head, "Oh," She said quietly, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were that superstitious," she said, pulling Lilly into her bed. When the clock ticked 9:09 the two stiffened as a loud booming noise came from down the hallway. Silver nearly screamed in shock as her door almost flew off its hinges from the impact as it swung open.

"Good morning!" Mello boomed.

Lilly screamed, "Apocalypse!" She shrieked, hugging Silver's side with a surprising amount of force for such a small person.

"Shut your trap, Mello!" Silver yelled at him, "Don't you know the date? It's September ninth, two-thousand nine, 9:09 in the morning," She finished, noticing Mello's confused expression, "She's a superstitious person," she clarified, but Mello still looked confused, "You just scared the hel- heck out of her!"

"Oh," he said, finally realizing what he'd done, "Sorry Lil's," he apologized and Lilly jumped out of the bed screaming down the hallway.

Silver sighed, _Poor Lilly, _she thought sadly, _she doesn't have any friends besides L and Roger, _she thought staring at Mello, _I'm so glad everyone accepted her so readily. Even Mello, he's already gotten a nickname for her… and he's even stopped being a jackass around her._

"Why're you here?" Silver asked him, yawning.

"To wake you up!" He yelled, trying to pull off her covers. They both began giggling, playfully tugging them back and forth, Mello tugged at the covers, and then Silver tugged back, but she tugged back just a little too hard. Mello fell forward and landed right on top of her.

They both stopped giggling immediately, and Mello didn't get off quickly, in fact he didn't get off of her at all. Instead, he just sat there, and for the first time Silver saw him, for the first time Silver _really _saw him.

His brown eyes were searching hers, and her eyes were searching his too. He had a soft face, Silver noticed, and his blonde hair was just long enough to tickle her face the slightest bit.

_He looks kind of… _Silver thought, trying to place his expression, she'd never seen one like it before, _he looks kind of… happy? He looks really nice when he's happy, _she thought absentmindedly, letting her thoughts run wild. She noticed what she was thinking and felt the tickle of a blush rise from behind her cheeks, noticing that he was blushing too.

Then the moment was ruined by Sarah. She gasped loudly from across the room and they both looked to see Sarah grabbing her phone frantically out of per pocket, spluttering and gasping like some sort of dying fish. It wasn't until she opened her phone and snapped a picture that they finally began to understand the situation.

Sarah ran into the hallway, away from the two, sure that Mello would try to get her before she sent the photo to Matt, or even possibly Mayani… but neither of them wanted to think about that. Suddenly Mello bolted up and ran after her.

Silver sat up on her bed, trying to figure out what had just happened. _Why did my thoughts run wild so easily? _She questioned herself, _how could I get lost in his eyes so easily? How did I lose my composure that easily?_

* * *

Silver walked around the rest of the day in a haze, for the first time in awhile Zellogi paid her a visit. "Hey," she greeted, "I'm surprised to see you here, the weather has been unusually moist lately, don't you hate that?" She asked under her breath.

He grunted a reply that she didn't really listen to. She continued to walk around like that until Sarah came running around a corner and ran into her with such force that she was knocked off her feet.

"I'm so sorry! I'm just trying to find my friend, Sil-" She stopped, looking down at her. Silver smiled and managed a little half wave.

"Why does this happen all the time?" She asked, pointing to Sarah who had knocked her to the ground.

"Hey," Sarah yelled at her, ignoring her question, "I've got major questions for you!"

"Like?" Silver asked, slightly confused.

"Like?" Sarah quoted, "What do you mean LIKE?" She shrieked at her, "I mean this!" She finished, pulling out her phone and shoving it in Silver's face. Silver looked at the screen.

_Oh yes, _Silver sighed, _the picture she snapped earlier._

There on the screen was a message: FWD:FWD: Mello Loves Silver was written at the top, and then there it was. The picture she took earlier, Silver sighed as she noticed the blush that was on their cheeks was clearly visible, but what really shocked her about the picture was how perfect Mello looked and how horrible she looked.

Her silver hair was in a ratty ponytail and his was perfectly combed, framing his face and it was just barely long enough to tickle hers. She sighed happily, _maybe it's really not that bad of a thing, _she thought but quickly shook the thought out of her head.

"Wait," she stopped, looking at the FWD:FWD: written at the top, "This has been forwarded?"

"Yeah," Sarah replied timidly, "Don't kill me," she pleaded.

"How many have seen this?" Silver asked quickly.

"About the entire Wammy's house," Sarah said, thinking, "Well, excluding the little ones," she paused, "So," she started awkwardly and Silver looked at her expectantly, "Tell me the details!"

"Forget it," Silver replied harshly, "I'm not talking about it." She finished, pushing Sarah off of her and leaving her behind.

_How does she expect me to give her details when I don't know what happened myself? _Silver thought angrily as she let her feet take her somewhere, _I'm… I'm so conflicted… why do I feel like I betrayed Near? _She asked herself, noticing that she was in front of her door.

Silver stared down the hallway where Near's pristine white door was, sitting there unopened. She could hear faint sounds of yelling, meaning Mello was in there. Suddenly the door burst open and she hid behind a corner in the wall. Mello didn't notice her as he walked by her in a huff.

_Maybe he just doesn't want to see me, _Silver thought dejectedly, staring at Near's door. She walked through Near's now open door to find him sitting up, carefully brushing himself off.

"Can I stay here awhile?" She asked him carefully, noticing her tone sounded more like a plea. He looked unmoved, not showing his eyes.

"What does it matter?" He asked suddenly, turning away, "Is it because it's the last place the fluttering 'fan girls' would suspect you, since your newfound infatuation with Mello?" He asked her and Silver noticed that his voice was almost neutral. Almost. Somewhere in there was an angry tint to the words, and she felt a pang of guilt when she heard a little bit of pain in his voice.

_Pain? _She asked herself, _does that mean…? No. It doesn't, he probably just doesn't want his roommate dating Mello, _she thought walking over to his bed, _and I can't fool myself into believing he likes me. _She thought, plopping down on his bed and watching as he slowly built a tower of dice.

After what felt like only a few minutes Silver felt something bubble up from inside her. _Is this the breakdown? _She asked herself, realizing that the stress was finally getting to her. She really liked two fantastic boys, and she could only have one. _I could just cut both of them out of my life… _she thought sadly, _is this it? Is this going to be my old life catching up to me? Not being wanted, no friends, and no popularity._

She noticed Near stiffen, he probably had no idea on what to do; he'd had very little social experience. Silver vaguely noticed as Zellogi hugged and exited the room – neither of them really enjoyed situations like this. She promised that she wouldn't let any of her friends see her cry, she didn't want them to worry about her. Instead, she got up and exited the room quickly.

She quickly walked pasted a window, noticing that it was raining. _It's a wonder Zellogi came to see me today, _she thought, _We're really different in that way. I like the rain… it feels calming._

She decided quickly, taking a sharp left and exiting the building through the library. Just as she was beginning to relax as the first few drops of rain hit her skin she noticed someone standing in the field she was planning to occupy. Still holding back tears she walked up to the mystery person.

"Hello?" She asked, tapping the person on the shoulder, "Sir, what are you doing outside all alone with no jacket or umbrella!" She yelled at the person, "It's raining, you'll catch a cold." The person turned around to greet her and she was surprised to see it was L.

"Hello, Silver," He greeted, smiling; "I could ask you the same."

"I like the rain," She replied simply.

"You sure that's the reason?" He asked intuitively.

"Yes," she started before remembering what Sarah had said, "You got the forward, didn't you?" She asked him and he smiled lightly in return before denying it lightheartedly. She could tell he was trying to be gentle – he'd probably had little social experience. For a second she wondered if he has raised Near, "I don't care if you did," she said quickly, "You should go inside; like I said, I'm afraid you'll get sick this way!" She said promptly, eager to get off the subject of the forward.

"Then by that logic shouldn't you go in too?" He asked her, still standing in the rain.

"Yeah," she agreed, "I should," she finished grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the pouring rain. Despite his overpowering smell of cake and sweets, along with his lack of social experience, she was surprised to realize that she'd actually grown to like L. In a way he reminded her of Mello and Near, both in different ways.

_Wait, _she stopped herself, _did I just say I like him because he reminds me of Near and Mello? _She sighed, she did seriously like them both.

"Hey, L," she started timidly.

"What is it?"

"I've just kind of always wondered… can you even… walk straight up?" She asked and he put his thumb and index finger up to his lips and thought about it for a moment.

"Yes," he said slowly, "I believe I can."

Silver jumped a few steps to the side of him, surprised, and her sudden movement startled him slightly, "Can you show me?" She asked excitedly, "Just to humor me!"

For a second he stared at her with a funny expression on his face, like she rarely acted this way. Regardless, he took a few steps and straightened up walking a few paces before slowing down and crouching again. The few steps that he had taken were uneasy and wobbly – like a toddler just learning to walk.

Silver thought about it for a moment, "L," she started, "You look much more confident when you walk straight, but you shouldn't do that ever again."

"Why not?" He asked.

"You're just not L when you walk that way," she remarked indignantly, "You actually seem… normal! You being normal, well, that's just too much for me to handle!" She exclaimed, throwing her ups up in over-exaggeration. He smiled lightly in return and continued walking.

When they got inside and went their separate ways Silver was feeling the a lot better, _maybe you don't always have to cry about these things, _she thought happily, walking to her room, _maybe just having really great friends is enough. Maybe laughter is the best medicine, _she thought cheerfully, falling onto her bed.

* * *

Silver tossed in her bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Usually sleeping in front of Near was fine, she didn't really mind it. In fact, she actually felt safer and each click of a puzzle piece popping into place was like a strange lullaby. But, tonight was different. As much as L made her feel better earlier, it hadn't solved her problems, and now every time a puzzle piece popped into place in reminded her of problems.

_Click._

Two amazing boys with two amazing personalities.

_Click._

She couldn't deny it, she liked both of these boys.

_Click._

She had to choose.

_Click._

She swung her legs over the side of her bed, standing up. She didn't really know anything at the moment, but at least she knew that one thing was true. She couldn't sleep here tonight. Not while dealing with the haunting thoughts of having to choose. She couldn't postpone it forever.

She got up and grabbed her pillow and blanket, exiting the room. The tapping of the puzzle pieces continued to stay consistent… it was as if Near hadn't even noticed that she had left.

She walked down the lonely corridors, and they were probably empty because it was after curfew. She saw the occasional rebel scaling the wall, carefully checking around corners before they turned. Every single one of them looked at her in disbelief when they saw her in her clean white pajamas, walking around carelessly in the middle of the night. Truthfully, she didn't really care if she was caught. She was considered the second smartest kid in the school, and she really hadn't broken a rule… aside from swearing in the courtyard.

She turned a corner and suddenly ran into L and Roger, "Good evening L, Roger," she said, nodding towards them both.

L grunted in response, probably due to the fact he was gobbling down an ice cream cone at lightning fast speed, Roger gave her a quizzical look, "What are you doing wandering the halls at this hour?" He asked her, "It's past curfew."

"Oh," she said quietly, "Well, since this is my second offense I suppose you would like to take me into your office and give me a stern lecture?"

"No, that's fine," he dismissed her, "But your room is that way though," he finished, gesturing towards the opposite direction than the one she was currently walking.

"I couldn't sleep in my room tonight," Silver replied timidly, "Do you know Sarah Harlem?"

"Yes," he replied with a light smile, "She is a very nice girl."

I walked down the lonely corridors, probably empty because it was after curfew. I saw the occasional rebel scaling the wall, checking around corners before they turned. They all looked at me in disbelief when they saw my white pajamas, and that I was walking right in the middle of the hallway. Truth was, I didn't care if I was caught. I was the second smartest kid in the school, and hadn't broken a rule. I'd also been relatively quiet so they wouldn't think I was causing trouble.

I turned the corner to run into L and Roger.

"Good evening L, Roger." I said nodding at them both.

"Well I know Wammy's may not allow it… but I would like to have a sleep over in her room…" She trailed off, tugging at her clothes.

"That's fine," he said and Silver pushed past them and headed towards Sarah's room. When she got there she heard faint sounds of a video game behind the door. Silver smiled and walked right through the door, knowing that Sarah wouldn't really mind.

"Hey, Silver," greeted Sarah almost instantaneously.

"Hey," she started but suddenly stopped when she noticed that they weren't the only ones in the room.

"What're they doing here?" She asked quickly, "It's after hours!"

"Well aren't you a good-goody," Sarah teased, "They're here because they wanted to be, I don't really mind if they're here or not." She said, biting into a potato chip.

Silver glanced over at Matt, who too engrossed in a new Kingdom Hearts game to notice her, and then she glanced at Mello and blushed slightly when he looked up from his magazine at her.

"They could at least greet me," Silver pouted, taking a seat beside Sarah on her bed.

"Hi Silver," Matt murmured, still focusing on his game.

"What about you, Mello?" Sarah asked, "Don't you want to say 'hello' to your girlfriend?" Sarah teased lightly, causing both of them to blush. "So why couldn't you stay in your room?" Sarah pressed.

Silver shrugged and tried to give her a glance that would explain it all, knowing that there wasn't really one that could. _How can I explain to her that I have no idea what's going on with my life? _Silver thought painfully, but somehow she seemed to understand.

"You really are digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself," she commented under her breath.

"I know," Silver whispered, "But I'm not sure how to get out anymore."

"I cant tell you with them around…" I whispered. Neither boy seemed to hear me. She gestured me into the bathroom and I told her why. As my explanation progressed her jaw inched closer to the floor, and by the time I was gone I wasn't entirely sure how her jaw was unbroken.

"You really are digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself."

"I know, im not sure how to get out anymore."

"Well," Sarah started in a hushed whisper, "They were going to sleep here tonight, but if you can't handle it then I can kick them out."

Silver shook her head, "No, I don't want to burden them," she said quietly, glancing at both of them, "Are they on the floor?"

"Yeah," Sarah replied happily, "You get the couch, I get the bed, and they get the floor!"

"Well," Silver yawned, "I am kind of tired."

"Me too," Sarah agreed, turning off the television, "Get on the floor boys, we're tired!" She said happily and when the boys started to complain she gave them a scary look and they obeyed immediately.

Silver curled up on the couch and Matt turned off the lights. Silver glanced around the room seeing everyone get comfortable, she was curled up so tightly on the couch that she was barely taking up a cushion, and Mello was sleeping on his stomach with his arms by his head, Sarah was sleeping on her side… and Matt…

_How can anyone sleep like that? _Silver thought to herself, staring at Matt, _He's twisted and curled in so many ways that I can't even tell what an arm is and what a leg is._

Silver felt a little nervous, lying there so close to Mello. _He looks so perfect when he sleeps, _she thought, resting her eyes, _he looks peaceful for once… he doesn't have that cruel sarcastic expression he normally wears… he almost looks more childish._

She fell asleep shortly after that; her mind on what she had seen when she saw L in the corridors. _That's why Zellogi came to see me today, _she thought, slightly horrified, _He was trying to warn me that L's death date was arriving… and not by a natural cause._

That's what worried her most… he hadn't come out of wherever he was hiding, so unless there was another person who had made the trade for the eyes… it would be a Shinigami who was going to kill L… and they could always do it whenever they pleased.

That's what scared her the most.

* * *

"_Cause I won't stop holding on, this is an emergency, so are you listening? And I can't pretend that I don't see this," – Emergency, Paramore _


	9. Starting All Over Again

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Starting All Over Again"

* * *

"She must be really… stressed, or something." Sarah's voice was lower than a whisper. The lower and smaller she tried to make her voice the more it began to hiss.

Silver's eyes were still closed, surprised that she had managed to wake up without opening her eyes, "Yeah…" Matt agreed quietly, "But, why are we talking about this? It's six in the morning, I'm tired," he whined.

"Aren't you worried about her?" Sarah asked, stealing glances at Silver.

"Anybody smarter than Mello is psycho," Matt said casually, "It's just a rule of thumb," he clarified when he saw Sarah's angry glare, "Just take Near or L as an example."

"Did you just dis the greatest detective of all time?" Sarah asked but Matt just mumbled in reply, "Whatever you say, Matt," She finished, sighing and lying back down. Silver remained perfectly still for the next twenty or thirty minutes, partly afraid to move.

_She's worried about me? _Silver thought, _I guess I have been… distant lately, but didn't everyone get that way? _She thought, opening her eye a sliver when some time had passed.

She glanced at the clock; _great, _she thought, _it's only six-thirty. That was the most grueling thirty minutes of my life. _She thought, carefully getting up, surprised at herself. Normally she liked time alone with her thoughts, but today was different. Today her thoughts felt like too much to handle.

She slowly got up, being extra careful not to disturb anybody. She slowly walked to the door, carefully stepping around the boys in a way that could easily be referred to as some sort of elaborate dance. When she got to the door she opened it very slowly and carefully.

_I really don't want to wake anyone up, _she thought staring at the three. She paced around the orphanage, realizing that today was Saturday, and on Saturday breakfast wasn't until nine, and nobody was really even up until eight.

She paced around for awhile, stopping at her room. After a long time of sitting in there she exited and paced around again. Sometime later she found herself in the library near the entrance to the courtyard. She sighed and went into the courtyard, content to find it completely vacant. It was a nice morning, warm but it wasn't raining.

She inhaled the crisp morning air. The ground was wet and it felt good on her feet, she was determined to have a bright and sunny weekend ahead of her. Somehow it only seemed to rain on the weekdays; it was even supposed to rain on Monday.

Silver sighed; _I have a bad feeling about Monday. _She thought sadly, taking a seat on a nearby bench, _Zellogi won't be around because of the weather, school is going to start for the week, and it's going to rain. Yeah, I definitely have a bad feeling about Monday. _

She slowly reached under her shirt and pulled out the Death Note. She wasn't entirely sure why she had carried it with her; the only good thing that ever came from it was Zellogi. As much as half the time he was a bumbling idiot, and the other half of the time he was secretive and mysterious – she liked his company, she really enjoyed it.

She laid it on her legs and set her head in her hands, _It's my fault L is going to die, _she thought miserably, _if I was just brave enough to tell them about the Death Note the Kira case would be solved and everyone I care about will be safe._

_But… where will I be?_

She knew where she would be, it was clear and she knew there was no way out of it. The secret held on her like a weight, she would be in prison because she wrote a name in the note. She was feeling mad, angry, and even childish. She was so young… death wasn't even real to her, but it was the same regardless. She had killed someone.

She told herself that the person had destroyed her family, the person was the reason that everything had gone so wrong. The person was the reason that everything bad ever happened, it was all his fault. She was only doing the world a favor by getting rid of him.

_That's what I tell myself to keep from going insane, but, _she paused thinking again, _is it okay to kill people who have committed terrible crimes against humanity? _She tried to think again, _why does death row even exist? _She asked, balling her hands into fists, _for some reason it's okay to kill somebody who's killed someone just to teach them… that killing is wrong?_

That's the only thing that kept her from siding with Kira, it was illogical… a circle of killing that would never end. She never understood it… was Kira justice?

_Should I be on his side? _She asked herself, clutching the note tighter, _is it the right thing to do? Or should I be on L's side? Is L justice? Should I be on his side? Is it the right thing to do?_

Fact was fact though, and fact was that if Kira was ever caught he'd be put on death row, and then be forced to suffer a painful death… which brought her back to her question.

_Why is it okay to kill people if it's to teach them that killing is wrong? _She thought, thinking of the battle between Kira and L, _They are both trying to kill each other. Neither side seems… right to me. They both have cruel intentions, but nobody can honestly say what they would have done if they were in the same exact position._

_A magical, even mystical object falls into your hands. It has the power to eliminate anybody from the world. What would you do with it, honestly?_

That's what scared her… sure, what if Zellogi had chosen someone else? She didn't want to see people get hurt… or families torn apart. Even criminals had families. In fact, it still haunted her that she could say that she murdered someone. She was just a kid… she hadn't registered what death meant.

Death meant someone was gone. Forever. No redos, second chances, retries, or any other chance. Death was permanent… she had permanently taken away someone's life.

She was scared to admit that she'd made a mistake. She was scared of herself, she was scared that she'd murdered someone. The wind started to violently blow, shaking her from her thoughts. The air was crisp and nipped at her skin and she shivered uncontrollably.

"Want a jacket?" She whipped around to see Near behind her, his hand outstretched toward her handing her a small windbreaker.

"Thanks," She said calmly, gently taking the jacket from him. Her shivering stopped and she turned her thoughts to Near, "What are you doing up so early?"

"I don't really sleep often," he replied simply, "What are you doing up at this time?"

"I," she stopped, trying to think of the right words to finisher her sentence, "I really don't know," she said quietly, "I just couldn't sleep."

He didn't respond to her and sat down on the grass, pulling his knee next to his chest. Silver stared at him for awhile, trying to place the thoughts in her head into the correct words.

"Near," she started carefully, "Why are you personally against Kira? I think Mello's in it because he respects L too much… and he wants to beat you in solving the case… do you have a different reason."

"Kira is evil," He said automatically. Silver raised her eyebrows.

"Do you… really think that?" She asked carefully, trying to make the words come out in a way that made perfect sense.

"Yes," he replied quickly, "Do you?"

Silver sat quietly for awhile, trying to think of an answer, "I can't decide." She said finally.

"Why is that?"

"It's really hard for me," She said shakily, "I want to believe he's evil… but I can't help think that everyone is. I don't want to hurt anyone," she confessed.

"What if he were to try and hurt the people you loved?" He asked her.

Silver gulped, "People love him too," she started, and Near gave her a look that looked almost like disgust, "He has family. I don't want to destroy a family,"

"I know they say to love your enemies," Near started, "But you don't have to take it so seriously, there is no doubting it – Kira is evil."

Silver sighed, "I know, but isn't everybody a little bit evil? Good things can't exist without the bad… compassion and love wouldn't exist without pain and suffering… good couldn't exist without evil… and love couldn't exist without hate."

Near sighed, "I guess I just don't think about it that way," he said standing up, Silver sighed and stood up as well. She turned around to tell him where she was going and saw him eyeing the bench.

Silver let out a tiny gasp and grasped the Death Note, holding it to her chest, feeling incredibly stupid for failing to hide it when he came over. But, he didn't say anything and just walked away. She panicked for a few moments and decided to go see if Sarah was up… she was usually a late riser.

_I'm… I'm growing to like Near more and more… but it's too dangerous. I wanted to tell him back there… I actually wanted to tell him about the Death Note… how come I don't feel that way with Mello? If I don't be more careful I'll end up telling Near everything… or maybe he'll just find out. Mistakes, mistakes._

Silver sighed as she walked down corridor after corridor. She let her thoughts wander, thinking about random things when she remembered L.

She changed her direction abruptly and ran down the hallway to Roger's office, she hardly knocked twice and before she could hear the faint muffled 'come in' she barged in.

"Hello," he said, not taking his eyes off a piece of paper he was reading.

"Is L still here?" she asked frantically.

"Yes," Roger said absentmindedly, "Remember, you have a meeting around two?"

"Oh," she said dumbly, "Yeah." She was almost out of the room when Roger spoke up again.

"Be sure to pack your bags, Silver," he said quietly and Silver thought about it a minute before deciding not to question it. She had learned by now not to ask questions at Wammy's – it was just easier.

* * *

The morning was lazy and when two finally managed to roll around Silver trudged to the library and sat down with the three other people; Mello, Near, and L.

The meeting dragged on and Silver tuned out like she usually did. Today was different for her though… names were beginning to be mentioned. "Light Yagami" was currently the person L was suspecting. Silver thought about it for a long time before bursting out into involuntary laughter. All three of them turned their heads to her and asked her why she was laughing.

"Er," she thought quickly, "It's really nothing… I just remembered something." Everyone at the table sighed and continued with the meeting and Silver discreetly slipped a note to Mello.

_Spell his last name backwards, _she had written.

Mello thought about it for a second and chuckled a bit, making Near and L look at the two again and ask what they were laughing about. Both of them replied with 'nothing', and L and Near went back to discussing the case – clearly annoyed with their childishness.

The rest of the meeting went similarly, Mello and Silver passing notes, not even really bothering to pay attention. Occasionally Silver would look up, hoping L and Near wouldn't really look into it because she really wanted to avoid the whole lecture on being mature.

_Being smart's a real pain, _she complained inwardly, _I'm never allowed to be immature. In public schools they don't care… kids are immature. They're meant to be… but now I'm not. I miss being a kid, _she sighed regretfully.

Mello and Silver were to engrossed in their written conversation to realize what either L or Near had been saying, but when L finally spoke after a few moments silence Silver noticed.

"Yes, Near," he said proudly, "You are all coming to Japan to work on the Kira case with me." Mello hadn't noticed what L had said, too busy reading one of Silver's notes, but Silver immediately snapped her head up so fast that her neck cracked… and _loudly_.

She tenderly placed a hand on her neck, "What are you on?" She asked him rudely.

He repeated himself, and Silver repeated herself. Finally after numerous repetitions their conversation it finally caught Mello's attention.

"I," he gasped, staring at Near, "I have to live with the sheep?" he shrieked, pointing a finger at Near. Silver let out a small, suppressed giggle and he immediately rounded on her, his expression priceless. "Why are you laughing?" He asked her angrily, "Do you get some sort of sick sadistic thrill out of this?"

"No," Silver said, still laughing, "You already live in the same building with him; what's the difference? Just get rid of a few hundred kids." Mello was shocked and looked between Silver and Near, still horrified. "Admit it," Silver teased Mello, "I have a point." She finished, turning to L, "So, when do we leave?"

"In an hour," L said quickly, "I believe you are all packed." Silver nodded and left the room.

The time limit hit her like a weight… she had to say goodbye to Sarah… which might just be the worst thing in the world she'd ever have to do.

_Mello has to say goodbye to Matt, _she thought grimly, _That will be hard on him… and Near… he has… he doesn't have anyone to say goodbye to. That must feel even worse, _she thought, a feeling of sympathy for Near washing over her.

Silver sighed and dragged herself to Sarah's room… she wasn't going to be very happy at all. Silver hated seeing Sarah upset. Silver opened to door just a crack to find Sarah and Matt watching a children's television show…and at first she wondered why until she noticed Lilly passed out on the couch.

Silver sighed; she guessed she would be saying goodbye to both of them. She didn't think that Matt would really care if she left, but then she realized it… Matt's arm was around Sarah. Silver smiled as she noticed that a light blush was playing on Matt's face, but Sarah just smiled and watched the televisions show.

Admittedly, Silver felt a little jealous of Sarah. She wished she could have something like that with Mello or Near… but she couldn't bring herself to choose. She was absolutely blank.

She turned around suddenly when she heard footsteps behind her, she turned around to see Mello… obviously still angry. He was about to yell his usual greeting to her, but she quickly ran up to him, placing her hand over his mouth and pressing herself against him.

"Shush," she let out a sharp whisper, he looked at her, still about to hell – but her hand was over his mouth, "I'll show you," she whispered, pulling him forward. She pointed to the door and he looked through, looking back at her unfazed.

"Really?" He asked disbelievingly, "I knew he liked her a long time ago, is this seriously news to you?" Silver blushed scarlet, but she didn't have a chance to defend herself because Mello just barged into the room and started with his usual mean, embarrassing comments.

Silver smiled, _at least he could do what I was certain I couldn't, _she said, walking into the room afterward, _he's able to stay himself when he's going to have to say goodbye to his best friend. _In that way, Silver admired him.

"I see you finally made a move, Matt!" Mello yelled tactlessly and Silver face palmed… and there was a way she couldn't admire him.

She smiled as she noticed Matt quickly take his arm away, trying to conceal a blush with his orange goggles. Sarah however was staring angrily at Mello, clearly upset with him for ruining her moment with Matt.

"You're such a jerk, Mello," she growled to him, "Why are you even here anyway?"

Mello's face immediately turned from cheerful to grim and Silver felt her cheerful expression slip as well. Mello looked at Silver for help, and sighed, "I… or we… we just came because we have to say… we have to say," he stuttered.

"Goodbye," Silver finished for him, looking down, her face solemn.

"G-goodbye?" Matt and Sarah stuttered in unison.

"L's making the top three go and live with him… in Japan," Mello said quietly, "We're all going to work on the Kira case with him," He finished and Silver felt a sting of guilt, knowing that if she hadn't been sent to Wammy's Matt would be right along there with them.

"I-I-I-I," Silver stopped and slowed down, her voice cracking, "I-I'm sorry, M-Matt," She started again, and she kept opening and closing her mouth, trying to think of the right thing to say when suddenly his normal sweet boyish smile spread across his face.

"Don't worry about it, kid. You guys have fun in Japan," he said cheerfully, but Silver couldn't miss the pain behind his eyes and it hurt that he was trying to hide it. She knew what she was doing; she was separating two best friends and she felt terrible about it. She was about to say something to Matt when she crashed to the floor, Sarah on top of her.

"Don't g-go!" She spluttered, tears running down her face. Silver was astonished for a moment or two before managing to regain her composure.

"I," Silver stopped, taking in a breath, "I'm afraid I have to," she said, her voice coming out in a raspy whisper. Her voice sounded vaguely human, and talking felt like running a marathon. A look of understanding crossed her face and she got up.

"When will you be leaving?" She asked, her voice cold although Silver could tell that it wasn't directed at her.

"An hour, just enough time to have my last class… math," Silver said, disgusted, "That's the one assignment I didn't complete all the way, I mean, why do we even have math on a Saturday?" She asked, her tone lighter.

"You know something? I'm not entirely sure," Sarah replied, her tone lighter too, "I guess we always have had at least one class on the weekends," she finished, sighing. They grabbed their stuff and they trotted off to class.

When they got to class they sat down across the room from one another – the teachers weren't stupid, they knew better than to put the two of them next to each other. Class started slowly for everyone but Silver. It seemed that the clock hands were moving excessively fast since she had found out she had only an hour left.

An hour. It used to seem like an eternity when she was a kid… but now, only an hour away from leaving everything behind, it seemed like there just weren't enough moments in that hour. An hour was sixty minutes. A minute was sixty seconds… sixty moments to be cherished. Only three thousand six hundred more moments were left for her to cherish.

_It's not fair, _she thought, staring at Sarah, _I should get to have just as much as them, I shouldn't have to leave._

Then the bell rang. Silver sat, glued to her seat. She couldn't believe she'd wasted her last hour. It was all gone, there were no second chances. Her time was up, there was a moment left to cherish, and she was past her time limit.

* * *

Silver sat on the seat in the sleek black car (despite what L said about it possibly being pink, Silver believed it was black), staring out at the crowd. An hour ago math had seemed like the worst thing in the world… but now she wished more than anything to be back in that stuffy Saturday classroom… just taking everything in. The smell, the sight, even the homey feel that Wammy's gave her.

_Not that I don't feel at home with Mello, Near, and L. _Silver thought sadly, _It's just… this is my home. This is the first place where I felt I belonged._

Silver sighed and stared back at Sarah, who was easy to pick out in the crowd surrounding the car that the three were leaving in. Sarah was the only one crying… and Matt had wrapped his arm around her, trying in vain to comfort her. Everyone else seemed to be treating it as if they'd be back in an hour or so… like they were leaving to go get some Nobel Prize or something.

To Silver it didn't even feel real yet, they way everything was being treated… it was so quick. Last night she was sleeping in Sarah's room, one of her biggest problems was her love life… and now she didn't even have Silver to vent to anymore.

She was tired and worn out, whatever you'd want to call it. Her head bobbed up and down and her eyes slowly began to close, the occasional pot hole or speed bump being the only thing that could jostle her awake.

_This just might be my greatest fear… starting over again. _Silver thought as she was gently rocked to sleep by the cars steady movement.

* * *

"_I'm going away for awhile, but I'll be back, don't try to follow me, 'cause I'll return as soon as possible," – Misguided Ghosts, Paramore_


	10. Trust Your Enemies

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Trust Your Enemies"

* * *

Silver woke up very disgruntled by Mello shaking her off his shoulder, "Jeez, Silver," he gasped when she finally woke up, "You sleep like a rock! And get off of me!" Silver sighed and sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"You couldn't let me sleep?" She begged him, "And please, you know you want this," she finished, waving a hand down her body, giving him a cute smile, laughing when she saw him blush.

"Do not!"

Silver giggled and looked out the window, "Whatever, Mello," she commented, noticing that they had arrived at the airport. "Is L riding the plane with us?" she asked him.

"No," he said simply, staring out the window as well, "He's riding in a separate private plane, after all, Kira knows about him, not us. It's safer for him," He concluded.

"I suppose you're right," Silver sighed, "So what seat number is on your tickets?" She questioned the two.

"Seat number?" Near and Mello asked in unison.

"Haven't you guys ever ridden a plane before?" she asked them, slightly surprised.

"No," Mello said, crossing his arms, "Near never gets out, anyway." Mello finished with an evil glint in his eye. Silver waved him off and grabbed the tickets out of his hand. She stared at the tickets and laughed menacingly as she read the seat numbers on the tickets.

"What is it?" Mello asked, concerned.

Silver opened her mouth to speak but suddenly stopped herself, an evil idea hatching in her head. She thought for a few moments, "You get to sit next to Near for the entire nine hour flight."

"What?" Mello asked her, waving his hands wildly, "Silver! You're changing seats with me!"

Silver gasped, "That's illegal, Mello!" She said, pretending to be astounded that he would even suggest it, "They can throw you off the plane for that,"

"W-what?" He asked, confused.

"I'm not kidding, Mells," She said, completely serious, "They'll have air marshal's cuff you and everything," she finished, skipping away while grabbing Near by the arm, a sinister smile playing on her lips.

After managing to go through the painfully long series of customs and baggage check the three managed to board the flight. She sat into her seat and got comfortable, watching the row Near and Mello were sitting in which was right next to hers. Mello continued to have a horrified look on his face, not even daring to look at Near.

_If you can't see it then it's not there, _Silver giggled to herself. Silver was jerked from her thoughts when a colorful girl came walking up the row with a ticket in her hand, "Uh," she said, looking around, "Is this row A7?"

"Yeah," Silver said with a smile, getting up to let her slide through, and Silver thought she seemed really nice, even a little interesting. She had electric lime green streaks in her jet black hair, which was pulled back into a pony that she had spiked on the ends to resemble a star. She wore bright yellow, almost green, converse with black laces to contrast.

_Okay, maybe more than a little interesting, _Silver thought, smiling a little.

"I really love your hair," the girl gushed, "It's silver! That would never work on me," she finished solemnly. Silver was startled by her complement and looked at her astounded.

"Uh," she started nervously, "Oh, thanks." She finished, barely able to speak. The girl looked unfazed about her response to her compliment and continued to ask her questions.

"My name is Storm," She introduced cheerfully, "What's yours?"

"Uh," she started slowly again, "Silver. Is your name really Storm?"

"Yeah," she said, her smile faltering a bit, "It gets to be a pain sometimes; some little kids refuse to believe me. Kindergarten wasn't really a fun time for me," she sighed, "But, forgive me, is your name really Silver?"

Silver opened her mouth to say yes, but then she remembered that it wasn't. Her real name, along with her past, was long gone.

_Am I lying if I say yes? Should I say yes?_

Storm's expression turned from energetic to sympathetic in just a moment, "Kira?" she asked thoughtfully, "A lot of people are worried about him these days," she said solemnly, "Some of my relatives won't come out of hiding… even for silly little petty names. I want to be brave for them," She said, happy again, "I'm not going to hide myself, or my identity, just because everyone else is going to cower from some hateful little child."

Silver considered for a second letting it slip that Kira was actually suspected to be an extremely smart collegiate, but shook the thought from her head; it wouldn't be good to reveal what she was to the Kira investigation.

Silver sighed and turned her head to see Storm looking at the boys, her boys, "The one with the blonde hair is pretty cute," she remarked, "Is the other one your brother?"

She giggled a little bit before shaking her head, "Nope," she giggled, "Absolutely no relation. The one you think is cute is named Mello, the other one is Near." She introduced.

"Silver, Mello, and Near?" Storm asked, "I like those names," she commented, before looking off into the distance for a bit. The plane began to shake slightly and the stewardess came around and started giving safety instructions because they would be taking off soon. She looked over at Mello one last time before turning and facing forward.

_There's a long nine hour flight ahead of us, _she groaned, regretting her practical joke, _I sure hope he behaves._

As if on command Mello began to yell at Near, "Near get off my arm!" Silver sighed, but didn't dare to look at them. As far as she was concerned, as long as they were on the plane she didn't know them.

"Uh," Storm started awkwardly, "Your friends over there…" She said, trying to tell Silver what they were doing, but Silver cut her off.

"As far as I know, I don't know them," She said timidly. Storm giggled softly in return but continued to look at the two boys.

"What're you looking at?" Mello asked, finally noticing her.

"It's funny that you're only asking me," she commented, "Half the plane is staring at your demonstration of childish behavior."

"Near was on my arm!" Mello growled back.

"You're halfway in his seat, taking up all the room you can, of course he was going to be on your arm!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yeah," Storm said, pointing to the seat, "You are! You're being such a child!"

"Me?" Mello scoffed, "The child? You're the child!"

"Whatever," she said, turning away. Silver sighed, _great, now if we have to switch seats I have to change seats with Near. It'll be worse if Mello sits next to Storm… she actually fights back._

"Why does he hate him so much?" Storm asked quietly so Mello wouldn't hear her.

Silver thought about her answer for a moment, "He hates him because they both excel in academics, but Near always beats him."

"Oh," Storm breathed, "I see. Why didn't you switch seats with him to begin with… so he wouldn't have to sit by him?"

"What?" Mello shouted, overhearing Storm, "You could have switched? Switch with me! I'd rather sit by that brat then by Near!" And then it began, the endless bickering between Mello and Storm. Silver sighed and decided.

"Mello," She said quietly, anger filling her eyes, "I'll switch with Near and you can stop being such a whiny brat and you're going to shut up and quit acting like a girl," Mello opened his mouth to say something back, but Silver cut him off, "Okay?" He sighed and nodded, and Near silently got up and sat where Silver had been sitting, continuing to do his puzzle. Silver was glad that he hadn't paid much attention to her outburst.

The rest of the plane ride was quiet and Silver continued to stare out the window aimlessly, after about eight hours they landed in Japan. Silver's eyes widened when they finally got outside. Japan was full of buildings, roads, lights, just about everything. The city seemed so alive compared to the secluded area she was used to living in. When they got into the car that Watari was standing outside of they weren't surprised to see L already inside the car.

"Hello, L," They all greeted and he grunted his usual greeting in response. Silver thought this was completely normal, sometimes he didn't reply at all when he was thinking deeply. The car sped away through the traffic towards L's headquarters.

The car continued to speed through street after street away from the busy airport, and the car finally pulled up to a very large, massive structure. "L," Silver breathed, astonished, "Is this your headquarters?"

"Yes," he replied simply, "Each of you can have your own floor if you'd like."

"M-my own floor!" Silver stuttered, but she was the only one in the car who was so impressed, even Mello seemed oddly neutral.

"Will there be chocolate?" Mello inquired.

"Yes, we made sure we had an ample supply of chocolate," Watari replied, chuckling as everyone get out of the car and entered to building and they were greeted by a hearty bunch of people.

"Hello!" One of the agents greeted, unusually peppy, "My name is Matsuda," he breathed, "But Misa-Misa calls me Matsu," he stopped, losing his happy expression which was replaced by an embarrassed one. Slowly the three introduced themselves when a boy walked out of the crowd.

_He's handsome, _Silver thought, noticing his kind face, light tousled brown hair, and sweet smile. _He must be eighteen or nineteen, _she thought, shaking his hand, _he's the kind of person I would trust._

"Hello," he greeted kindly, "My name is Light Yagami."

* * *

"_If God's the game that you're playing, well, we must get more acquainted, because it has to be so lonely, to be the only one who's holy," – Playing God, Paramore_


	11. You Again?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"You Again?"

* * *

Silver rolled over and checked the alarm clock, _Great, it's only four-thirty in the morning, _she sighed, she still had a few hours to go before she could go back downstairs. The night had been hectic, she was sure Light had definitely seemed nice and genuine, but nobody was quite sure of his innocence.

Throughout the evening she had caught Mello giving him evil glares, and she even caught Near eyeing him a little bit. She had to wonder, was she the only one who didn't suspect him?

She had no reason to suspect Light – his name was just like everyone else's, complete with a lifespan and all. Unless her Shinigami eyes had developed a fault, he was okay. She actually even trusted him a little bit. Light had been extremely kind to her during the time she had known him; he had even shown her to her floor and given her a tour.

_I wish we didn't have our own floors, _Silver sighed, staring at her room, _Isn't Japan crowded enough without us having our own floors? _She reasoned, _and I can't help but miss Near as my roommate… even if he did have his lamp on all evening, clicking his puzzle pieces in. At least he's someone…_

She rolled over again, trying to find a soothing noise in her room like the clicking of Near's puzzle pieces. She settled for turning on the television… it felt like she had someone as a roommate again. Even if they spoke Japanese… Silver sighed and rolled over, falling asleep again.

* * *

She awoke with a start to Mello pounding on her door, "Wake up!" She heard his muffled shouting. She groggily got out of bed, walked through her living room, and opened the door, rubbing her eyes.

"What do you want from me?" She whined as she opened the door.

"You aren't dressed yet?" He asked her, staring at her oddly.

"No, and why would I? It's like seven in the morning," she pouted, wishing she could go back to sleep.

"Seven?" He asked her, confused, "Silver, it's like twelve-fifteen in the afternoon."

"Twelve-fifteen, what?" She shouted, suddenly fully awake. She slammed the door in his face and made it halfway back to her bedroom before realizing that she'd slammed the door in his face. She laughed quietly to herself and opened the door again.

"Ow," Mello said in the hallway, holding his nose.

"Is it bleeding?"

"Huh?" he asked her, dancing around, holding his nose.

"Is it bleeding?" She asked again.

"Oh," he said, stopping his dance, "Uh, yeah," He said, smiling, "It doesn't hurt though, you could never hurt me!" He shouted, trying to be masculine.

"Whatever, Mello," Silver sighed, letting him in, "I've been in martial arts since I was a toddler, I could kick your ass if I wanted to," She said, not giving him the chance to protest. As she pulled him into the room she noticed Near doing a puzzle in the hallway, "You come in too, Near," She shouted, handing Mello some paper towels.

Near stood up and walked into the room, and then sat down in his awkward position again. _Well, he looks more awkward when he stands, _Silver thought to herself.

After she had gotten Mello to sit on the couch and relax she headed to her room, stopping to turn around, "You two," she started, pointing her middle and index fingers toward her eyes, "I've got my eyes on you," she said, flashing an evil grin before entering her bedroom. She grabbed some clothes, a brush, and a towel and headed towards the bathroom.

She gazed in the mirror for a few moments, glaring at her small stature. She'd always looked somewhat pixie-like with her delicate features and short-height, and needless to say she never really liked it. All of the other girls were elegant and beautiful, but she always remained 'just cute'.

She turned on the water for a shower and waited a few minutes for it to heat up. She glanced once again at her appearance and hopped into the shower. She washed her hair quickly and hopped out of the shower, across the room on the other wall there was a beautiful mural on the wall of a field of cherry trees in bloom. She silently wished that she wasn't stuck in the city, she wished she could be in the mural, enjoying the soft features of the countryside.

She quickly dried herself and got dressed. She quickly looked herself over in the mirror and thought of the mysterious girl on the plane; she seemed to argue with Mello for the entire plane ride. She had even been pretty… just with a unique sense of style. She quickly forgot about her when she heard a loud crash from the living room.

She wrapped her hair in a towel and ran into the living room – she nearly shrieked when she saw glass all over the floor, and Near was still doing his puzzle with Mello hunched over him angrily.

"What the hell, Mello?" Silver shouted, "I've been gone for twenty minutes and you manage to get mad at Near? He doesn't even talk all that much!"

Mello stood up and looked at the floor, the glass was scattered all over the rug and there was a noticeable puddle of water and flowers which were also scattered everywhere. "Sorry, Silver," he apologized, "But the sheep just keeps pissing me off!" He yelled - his face still red with anger.

"Well, once you pick up all of these pieces of glass and flowers you can _leave,_" She said harshly, feeling the venom in her voice. She was starting to get really sick of him always blaming Near for things he didn't even do, "Or, I know something better," Silver suggested, "Why don't you tell me what he actually _did _to make you so angry?"

Mello looked away from her to hide the fact he was blushing, "N-nothing," he stuttered, "He didn't do anything." He finished quietly, grabbing a broom and a dust pan out of the kitchen. Silver sighed and went into her room to grab a belt, after tightening it to fit her small waist she went in and helped Mello clean up the rest of the glass.

A few minutes after they'd managed to clean up the mess, Matsuda came rushing in, "I heard a crash!" He said, panting.

"All the way downstairs?" Silver asked curiously.

"Uh," he stalled, giving a guilty smile, "There are cameras on every floor," he finished quietly.

Silver blushed and looked away… she had known there'd been cameras ever since she had entered the building, but she hadn't meant to freak out and yell at Mello in front of them. She sighed and dried her hair, putting her socks and shoes on. After that they all went downstairs.

"Well, good afternoon, Silver," L greeted when they walked in. He was eating a tower of donuts, with a cake base. Silver shivered in disgust at all the sugar, but she guessed it worked for him. She sighed and sat down by him,

"So, what's up today, boss?" She asked, smiling.

"Just the usual," He replied, not paying much attention to her. She sighed and decided to play a game on the computer until someone yelled at her.

She had gotten to the sixtieth level when Mello came over, "What are you doing?"

"Uh," she stalled, trying to think of a logical reason to be playing a game during a serious investigation, "I am fearful of what'll happen if I don't beat this game," She finished, blushing.

He smiled and exited out of the game, "Here," he said, pulling up a screen, "Look at the profiles and patterns of all these people that are dying," he instructed, walking away.

"I hate work," she muttered, staring at the words on the screen. After just a few minutes of reading through the names things seemed to click into place for her.

"Have you guys looked at the recent deaths?" She asked the boys.

"No," Mello called, "That's your job, why?"

The team of investigators leaned in to hear what Silver had to say, and she was slightly shocked because she thought that they wouldn't take her seriously, "Well, a lot of company executives are dying," she said, going further to explain who had been dying, when, where, and how.

"Yeah," Mello agreed, staring at the names, "That's true," he scanned, looking over the most recent news, "All of them seem to benefit Yotsuba Enterprises."

Silver tuned out of the discussion from that point on, and sat in her chair, extremely bored. She'd given them a lead, and to her, that felt like it was good enough. She noticed Near on the floor doing a puzzle and got up to sit by him.

She lay on her stomach next to him and watched him put puzzle piece after puzzle piece in. It was a really boring routine to her, and after zoning out for awhile the clicking of high heels on the linoleum floor awoke her from her dazed state.

Matsuda was hurrying after Misa, struggling to keep up with the stacks of paper he had, "Matsu-Matsu," Misa began to whine, "It's so crowded in the building, I want to go to _town. _Can we go shopping Matsu?"

"Uh," he said, not really paying attention, "Hang on a minute," he grunted, carrying the papers to L's desk and then dropping them down with a loud noise. He opened his mouth to ask L if Misa could leave to go shopping but L interrupted him.

"Sure, go." He said waving them away.

"Hey, L," Silver called across the room, he turned around slightly, pulling Light out of his chair without knowing it. Light balanced himself and then they both looked expectantly at her.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Well, I was wondering if we could, uh, go out to town too," She said, gesturing to Mello, Near, and herself. All of the investigators gave her shocked expressions.

"That should be okay, if Matsuda is willing to take you?" He said, indirectly asking Matsuda a question. Silver looked at him with begging eyes.

"Yeah, sure!" He said with glee, "I can take them."

"Okay," Watari agreed, "Just don't lose them in the city!" He called after them as they left. Silver was shocked that the city was busy and so full of life, even in the afternoon when most people would be working.

"Where to first?" Silver asked and Misa pointed to a cute little boutique in the corner.

"I have to get a present for Light," She giggled, and Silver rolled her eyes as Matsuda parked the car. When they got inside Silver was impressed with the neat tidy store, but she quickly made her way to a chair and sat down, leaving the boys to stand.

All of the salesladies greeted Misa by her name and invited her to the backroom, and Silver could tell it was going to be awhile. After what felt like a few hours Misa came out with a bag in her hand, "All right, let's go!" She giggled happily, getting us all up and back into the car.

"Well that was pointless," Silver muttered and Mello sniggered under his breath.

_Like she really needs any more lace in her life, _Silver thought to herself.

They drove around town for a bit before they saw a store that Silver really wanted to shop at, and she saw Near looking at it too. It was a games store, with several puzzles in the display case. The city had begun to get livelier now that the sun was starting to go down.

The three didn't spend too long in the store because Mello had insisted that they leave right away, but in the time that they had been in the store Silver had managed to buy a new puzzle for Near. It was the hardest she could find, it was all white, and it was in the shape of an octagon, but she decided not to tell Near that, just to make it a little more difficult for him.

Just as the three were exiting the store Silver was hit by something, and _hard_. She was knocked off of her feet and someone landed on top of her. She looked up to see a girl frantically getting up. She had raven black hair and electric lime green streaks in her hair.

_Oh great, meeting you again. _Silver sighed.

* * *

"_Here we are now, entertain us, I feel stupid and contagious, here we are now, entertain us," – Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana_


	12. I Miss You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"I Miss You"

* * *

Silver clutched her head and looked up, her head was throbbing with pain and her knees felt like they'd been hit with a hammer several times.

_Why can't cement be soft? _She complained to herself.

Silver rubbed her head, "Oh, I am so, so, so, so, so, so very sorry!" The girl said apologetically, reaching her hand out to help Silver up. Silver looked up at her and saw a glimmer of recognition pass through her eyes, "You're that girl from the plane, aren't you?" She asked excitedly, "Silver was your name if I remember correctly?" She asked again, pulling Silver up.

Silver stretched a few sore muscles and checked for any injuries before replying, "Yeah," she confirmed, "Your name was… Storm, am I correct?"

"Yeah!" She said with a large smile, and Silver wondered how it was humanly possible for someone to smile that large, "You had two boys with you, right? Near and," she paused, pretending to choke in disgust, "_Mello._"

"Yeah," Silver said, slightly embarrassed for Mello's behavior, "They're right over," she started, looking behind her. When she didn't see them she scanned the area for a sign of them. When she still didn't see them she looked around some more and found that a pretty large crowd was forming in front of a large television. A young news reporter was on the television screen with a very tense expression on his face.

The bustling crowd in front of the massive television went silent as the reporter opened his mouth to speak, "More executives of exalted companies have died today," he paused and a wave of worry engulfed the crowd.

"All of the victims seemed to have suffered heart attacks. The victims were," the reporter rattled off names as the screen flashed their photos.

Photos flashed by and Silver didn't really notice them – they were all similar to the other victims that the investigation team had been discussing before. The photos were all of young bright businessmen, smiling in their photos. But, the last photo on the screen made Silver's heart stop. She couldn't think for a moment… all that she could see was the photo. It filled her senses; the only thing that she was aware of was the photo on the screen.

The photo was of an American man and the expression he wore made it seem as if he were a few hundred years old instead of the forty-two that it said he was. His hair had the look that it was beginning to fall out, and his face had many worry lines. His expression was out of the ordinary compared to the other executives – even through the camera lens she could tell that he looked depressed and lonely.

Parts of him were different, and he had aged, but Silver still recognized. Memories flashed through her head before the answer finally hit her. A memory washed through her mind like cold water.

_That man was my father, _she thought, and her vision was suddenly replaced with a memory. She was just three or four, playing at the park with a man maybe the age of thirty. He looked young for his age, and his face always carried a calm and gentle expression. He smiled and laughed as she tugged playfully on his hair; he looked so similar to the man on the screen… but he seemed less haggard. The man on the screen had looked twenty times his age, and he didn't seem even the least bit happy.

"Daddy," she said suddenly, "Mommy said you were leaving, she was unhappy… is it on a business trip?" She asked, looking up at him, her face full of innocence. She was wearing a white feathering dress that emphasized the silvery sheen to her hair. She wore a knit cap over her hair too, giving her the slight appearance of an angel.

The man's smile faltered for a second, for a moment her grimaced, he was even almost apologetic in his words when he told her that yes, he would be leaving and it might be awhile before he would be allowed to come back.

"It's okay, daddy," she said reassuringly, "I know owning such a big company is important!" The man smiled at her and hoisted her up onto his back.

"Want a piggyback ride all the way home, Nickers?" He asked playfully, knowing that as much as she'd be upset at his use of her nickname, she'd never turn down a piggyback ride.

Her vision slowly faded back from a memory and she found herself next to Mello and Near, the large television from earlier now displaying an ad for Coca-Cola.

Mello was quickly telling Near instructions, about how they needed to immediately contact L, but Near paid no attention to him, Near had been staring at Silver.

_That was me, _Silver thought, shocked; _I was that little girl at the park. I could never forget that nickname… Nickers. _She replayed the sound of her father calling her by that nickname over and over, and she paid no attention to the crowd that was struggling to get around her. All she cared about was hearing her father's voice again.

Her vision blurred and it took her a moment to realize how hard she was crying, no, she wasn't just crying. She was bawling her eyes out. _All this time, _she thought frantically, _all this time he wasn't really dead. I could have found him… I could have tried._

Suddenly her eyelids felt extremely heavy, and she didn't feel like fighting. She gave into distress and passed out, the last thing she remembered was looking into Near's worried eyes.

* * *

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

The steady sound of a heart monitor rang in her ears, and she tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but she was already too awake for that. She gave in and sat up, the room was dark, and so was the entire hallway. There were a few wires and tubes attached to her arms, but overall she seemed okay.

She opened and closed her eyes, trying to get them to adjust to the dim light. At the end of the hallway there was a dimly lit lamp which was just barely emitting enough light to illuminate a silhouette of a lady, tapping away at keys on a keyboard. Her eyes finally adjusted to the dark and she realized she was in a hospital.

She panicked a little, realizing that she couldn't remember anything. She couldn't remember why she was in the hospital, what had happened, when she had gotten there, or how she had gotten there. She remembered nothing, and she stared blankly into the darkness, trying to remember.

She looked around and saw a magazine on a nearby table, she couldn't quite make it out and just as she was about to get up and grab it she heard something.

"Finally awake, huh?" The voice was fimilair to her but she didn't quite recognize it.

"Who's there?" She whispered to the silhouette she saw sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room. The figure rose and stood, and it took a step toward her and appeared right in front of her.

She had a scream prepared, and she was just about to let it sound but her body reacted differently. Instead, she threw her arms around the figure, but she still couldn't remember who she was hugging.

"Zellogi!" She finally gasped out, remembering the name. She let go quickly, remembering he didn't like hugs, and sat back down on the bed.

"You didn't remember who I was?" He asked slowly.

"Sorry," she apologized, "It took me a minute or two… but I can't remember why I'm in a hospital," she admitted, "Do you know?" She asked quietly, hoping there was no one who could hear her.

"Yeah," he replied simply, his voice suddenly solemn.

"Will you tell me?" She asked him.

"Oh," he said, immediately shaking his solemn expression, "It's pretty basic, your face went blank, then you started crying, and lastly you passed out," he finished nonchalantly.

"That really helps," she told him sarcastically, hoping he would catch on, "Do you know what I was crying about?"

"Nope," he said quickly, "But it was right after a broadcast," he said slower, "Maybe this will help," he said, almost sadly, tossing the magazine at her.

She glanced at the front cover; it was red and had pictures of men in business suits along with a picture of what seemed to be a reporter. Silver stopped when she saw the title.

**Several Executives Die of Heart Attacks**

She read the title four times over, and then glanced under it, the names of the deaths. Halfway down the list one name caught her eye. Ronald Harkin – it had been the name of her biological father.

_Mom told me he died when I was five; _she thought sadly, _she said he'd died in a car crash. Then she married the man who was responsible for that car crash. _

For a long time she just sat there, staring at the name on the paper. She wasn't really sure what to do with the information. It was so sudden, she couldn't believe it.

_Am I supposed to panic? _She asked herself, _am I supposed to cry?_

_I don't understand this at all anymore._

* * *

"_Looking towards the future, we were begging for the past, well, we know we had the good things, but those never seemed to last," – Missed the Boat, Modest Mouse_


	13. Smile For Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Smile For Me"

* * *

Silver was tired, emotionally and physically. She had gone through the seven stages of grief all in one night. Being perfectly honest with herself, she didn't want visitors, at all.

She barely opened her eyes when six people piled into her small little hospital room with bright cheery smiles on their faces, "How are you feeling, Silver?" Misa asked quickly and cheerfully.

"Not well," Silver replied in monotone, not even bothering to try and sit up.

"You're so polite," Zellogi commented, smiling at his snide remark. Silver wished she could tell him to shut up, but decided on closing her eyes instead.

"You did fall pretty hard," Matsuda said cautiously, "Why did you pass out again?"

Silver was quiet again, thinking about what to say, "I don't know," she lied; trying not to notice Near's confused expression.

"Was it the news?" Mello asked and Silver wished for once that he had some sort of intuition, but she couldn't avoid the question, so she nodded slightly.

Matsuda, who lacked tact along with intelligence, was the first to speak, "But," he started, his tone confused, "You've been working on the Kira case for some time now… why wouldn't you be used to -" He stopped suddenly to exclaim in pain as Misa hit him over the head.

"Be nice Matsu!" She yelled at him, and Silver was quite grateful for her interruption, "She isn't feeling well!"

"I'm sorry Misa…" He said quietly.

"Matsuda is correct though… it shouldn't have been quite a shock." L said, clearly impatient in the hospital. Silver thought for a few moments and decided against trying to lie or keep information from L… she already felt incredibly guilty, lying about the Death Note and all.

"Well," she started slowly, taking a deep breath. She picked up the magazine and stared at the cover, taking the time to glance around the room. She noticed that there was only L, Light, Misa, Near, Mello, and Matsuda. She figured that the rest of the team was back at the headquarters.

"I knew one of the people that died here," she said quietly, leaving out the name and the fact that they were related, "We were pretty close."

The room was quiet for what felt like an eternity to Silver. She wasn't really sure what was going on in their heads, well, except for Misa's. The second the words were out of her mouth Misa was by her side, hugging her and telling her that everything was going to be okay.

"I'm fine," she squeaked, hoping that Misa would let her out of her death grip hug, Misa took the hint and stopped hugging her, but she took a seat right next to Silver.

"Well," she said, her smile returning, "You get to leave the hospital today!" She said cheerfully, "That's good news," she reassured when she saw that Silver's expression was still one of sadness.

The group stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes, "So," Silver said casually, "How has the Kira case been?" She asked, counting in her head how many days it had been, realizing that it was approaching three days since she'd been to the headquarters.

L and Light had opened their mouths to explain, but Misa spoke up first, "Well, actually the day you came into the hospital Matsu went to go check out the Yotsuba group on his own, and uh," Misa said, glancing at Matsuda, "He got caught."

Matsuda looked down sadly, "But," Misa said, her tone happier, "He made a quick comeback and said that he was really just coming to promote me as their spokesperson!" She shouted happily, raising her arms in the air to show victory.

She stopped celebrating after a moment and thought hard again, "Then I think we had a party to fake Matsu's death, so Kira wouldn't kill him, and that's about it," she concluded, pausing again to think, "Oh wait!" She said suddenly, "We also hired these two people, one is Wedy and she's basically a spy," Misa said, clearly thinking that it was the coolest thing in the world, "The other guy is pretending to be Eraldo Coil, and he gives information on L to the Yotsuba group."

When Misa had finally quit talking Silver glanced up at the others to see if they agreed with her information, "That's pretty much it," Matsuda said quietly, ashamed that he had been caught.

"So when do I get to leave?" Silver asked lightly, looking for more specific information.

"Well," Matsuda said, speaking up, "Right about now or so, you just have to get ready," he finished, looking a lot better since Silver hadn't asked further questions on why he had been caught.

Silver stole a glance at Mello and Near, she was surprised at them. Aside from Mello's original question they had been quieter than church mice the entire time; that was normal for Near she supposed, but definitely not for Mello.

Everyone slowly began to file out of the room to leave Silver alone to get ready, but she spoke up as she saw Near and Mello start to leave too. "Hey, you two," she called after them; they both stopped and slowly turned around to face her, "What gives?"

They both shrugged in response, "If you guys don't start talking I am going to be really mad," she said, crossing her arms. The rest of the people were in the hall talking, except for L who had noticed Silver call back the two boys.

"We were just… I don't know… worried I guess," Mello said, shrugging his arms.

"You guys are cute," Silver gushed, "But you don't need to worry about me, I'm fine. At least I think so anyway," she finished with a big smile.

"You think?" Near asked, picking up on her last sentence.

"Uh," Silver stalled, "Well, I don't know. Maybe there's some parasite eating my brains," she joked, "Now shoo, I have to get ready." She commanded, pushing them out of the room.

For a few moments she just sat and stared at her things. Her father had been alive all of this time. _All of this time I could have been happy, _she thought, suddenly she mentally smacked herself. A part of her had had enough, _I'm a self-centered __**brat**__, _she thought, _I have great friends who have been there for me and have worried about me. They've cheered up when I'm sad and tried their best to make sure I'm safe, and I still have the nerve to think that he's the only one who can make me happy? _She asked herself harshly.

_**He **__left __**me. **_She told herself cruelly, _Deal with it. _She sighed, she was sick of her own crap. A part of her didn't want to accept that he had left her, but she knew she had to. She needed to stop being such a crybaby, but it didn't matter anymore. She had a new incentive now; she was going to catch Kira for killing her father.

She grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom to change, when she got out she walked over the table where the magazine was and turned to the page with her father's picture on it. She ripped the page out and stuffed it into her jeans.

When she exited her room she was immediately greeted by a nurse pushing an empty wheelchair, "Do I have to?" Silver whined, "I can walk perfectly fine on my own!" She complained but the nurse just nodded. Silver sighed, lost some of her pride, and sat down in the wheelchair.

The car ride was awkward for her, to say the least. The entire time Mello and Near wouldn't utter a single world… Mello wouldn't even try to bicker with Near. Eventually the silence began to take a toll on her, and she felt like someone was trying to push her eyelids down. She kept trying to stay awake, her head bobbing up and down, and eventually she gave in to sleep.

She woke up later in her own bed, but her room was different. She quickly concluded that Misa had decided to buy lots of get well cards and flowers. It was so overwhelming that she couldn't see the floor or the door. She slowly got out of bed and fought her way across the room, slowly making her way through the wall of flowers.

When she got to the living room it was dark compared to the usual city night. The city was as quiet as she thought it could get and she couldn't see any stars in the sky.

She got in the elevator and pushed the button for the first floor, she was pretty sure that Light and L would still be up. When she got downstairs she found the room completely dark. She saw the digital clock and read that it was four-thirty in the morning.

_There's only one person that will still be up, _she thought getting back into the elevator, pushing the button for the floor she was looking for. The elevator only paused for a moment before it launched up. The carpet was soft on her feet as she walked through the hallway to his suite; she vaguely noticed that the walls were pretty bare – only one painting was hung. It was of the countryside and she concluded that it must have been there when he moved in.

When she got to the door she stopped, unsure if she actually wanted to go in. She decided quickly and knocked twice on the door. She knocked softly; sort of half hoping that he wouldn't hear her.

_I shouldn't be bothering him at four-thirty in the morning, _she thought to herself, turning around but stopped when she heard a light shuffling on the other side of the door. She turned around just in time to see him open the door.

"Silver?" He asked, surprised to see her.

"Hi, Near," She replied, her voice barely audible.

"What are you doing awake?" He asked, glancing back at a digital clock.

"I couldn't sleep," she said quietly, shifting her feet, "Can I come in?" She asked cautiously, he looked at her shocked for a moment, but he quickly hid it.

"Sure," he said quietly, turning around and walking inside without another word. She walked in and shut the door behind her. He sat on the floor and began stacking dice.

Silver noticed that his suite was just as bare as the hallway leading into it, there was hardly any furniture in it. The walls seemed a boring beige color, and everything was just so boring to her.

Other than that, she also noticed how everything seemed to be so clean. There were no dishes scattered around, and there wasn't even the smallest stain on the carpet.

"Near," she started, still glancing around his suite, "Do you ever sleep or eat?" She asked, trying to keep her tone nice. He smiled at her question for a brief moment and then went back to his blank expression.

"I am human, Silver," he replied in his usual monotone.

"Sorry," she apologized, "You just seem so different from anyone I have ever met," she finished, lying down next to him. The room was so quiet and even his puzzle made little sound. Silver realized just how much she missed being his roommate… it was so much easier to fall asleep with the soothing sounds of his puzzle.

After a little while, when Silver was finally almost asleep, Near spoke up, "I'm sorry, Silver."

In her sleep-deprived state she didn't fully process what he was saying, "Mhm?" she asked quietly.

"I'm sorry," he started again, "That we didn't catch Kira faster, I mean, if we did… the person you knew would still be alive," He said carefully, trying not to show any emotion.

"My dad," Silver mumbled, drifting in and out of consciousness. It was quiet again for awhile and she eventually fell asleep.

Silver drifted back into consciousness for a little while when she felt herself rocking. She felt herself being carried and she opened her eyes just slightly. She was moving, she noticed, and she looked up to see Near.

Silver wasn't even entirely sure how he was able to carry her, she was sure she'd be too heavy or something. She admitted that she liked the way she felt in his arms, it was warm and she leaned in closer and laid her head on his chest.

She stole a glance at him, and saw for a brief second that he genuinely smiled. It was only the third or fourth time that she had ever seen him smile; and she decided that she liked his smile a lot.

_I want to see him smile more often, _she thought again, slowly drifting back out of consciousness.

* * *

"_How long, I saw how long, will you re-live the things that are gone? The devil's on your back, but I know you can shake him off," – Waste, Foster the People_


	14. Childish Mello

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Childish Mello"

* * *

The sun was shining in her eyes when she woke up, and there was shouting coming from down the hall. Silver groaned, _that's really not a pleasant sound to wake up to._

"Urghh," she gurgled, her mind still hazy from waking up. She sat up and looked around the room. Everything in the room was sheer white, there were no photos on the walls, and the blankets themselves were white, and there were even neat white boxes stacked on the white dresser.

_Near. _She thought, staring around the room. She was pretty sure that it had to be Near's room, because it certainly wasn't hers. Her room was decorated with everything that she could have possibly smuggled out of Wammy's. She had colored blankets, a sneaked picture of Matt and Sarah, and a recently added photo of her father to name a few of the items she had smuggled under Roger's nose. From what she knew it couldn't be Mello's room either; his would be littered with chocolate wrappers, and she was sure filled with girly clothing.

Near was the only one she knew who could handle, or even enjoy, a room like this. She concluded that the boxes on the dresser had to be puzzle boxes. _Yeah, _she thought, looking around, _this room is definitely his. But, why am I here?_

She began to think, trying to remember why she was there when more shouting came from outside the room, "Near," Mello's voice yelled, "Where is it? Where did you put it?" Sounded his muffled yell.

She got up, careful not to make anything messy in the perfectly clean room. It was neater than anything she had ever seen, and she wasn't going to be the one to make it messy.

She heard a door open and some stomping from outside the room, "_Where is it?_" Mello's voice seethed, she had never heard his voice that terrifying.

_Has someone taken his chocolate? _Silver giggled to herself, pressing her ear to the door. "I am unsure of what you are speaking of," Near replied to Mello in his usual monotone. His voice didn't even quiver, and Silver smiled at the mental image of Near just sitting there twirling his hair while Mello continued to seethe.

"Where did you put _my __**chocolate?**_" Mello yelled and Silver smiled, remembering that she had just thought that herself. She opened the door a crack to see what was happening between the two.

"Maybe you misplaced it by accident," Near suggested, continuing to stack cards into a house.

"Is this just a game to you?" Mello shrieked, his face starting to turn very red. "Is this what everything is to you? _A game?_" He finished, grabbing Near's shirt collar and lifting him into the air.

Mello took a reckless step backward and a small vase toppled off the table, resulting in a loud crash, but that didn't distract Mello. He continued to hold Near in the hair, winding his fist back. "Stop it, Mello," Silver interjected, walking out of the room and Mello almost dropped Near by surprise.

"What are you doing here?" He asked dumbly.

"I can be where I want to," Silver replied, and when a sudden wave of confidence swept through her body she continued, "Now put him down, jeez, he didn't take your damned chocolate," She finished walking up to him.

In all honesty she was scared out of her mind; Mello was terrifying when he was angry, especially when it was about chocolate. He was nearly a foot taller than her, and he looked scarier than Zellogi had when she had first met him. However, she swallowed her fear and gave him the meanest, toughest glare she could mange. But, she was pretty sure her efforts were in vain.

The two stood there for a few minutes, just trying to stare each other down. When he realized that despite how scared she was that she wasn't going to back down, he dropped Near on his stack of cards (unfortunately causing the impressive tower to crumble), and left the room.

Near didn't say a word as he got up, dusted himself off, and sat back down in his comfortable position. He picked up his cards and started rebuilding the card house, "Are you alright?" Silver asked him quietly, still dazed by the situation.

"Quite fine, actually," Near reassured, stacking cards carefully, "All except for the vase and my cards, there seems to be no casualties," He said, not the least bit frazzled.

"I'd go insane," Silver said, shrugging, deciding that she should go back to her own room. She left and headed toward the elevator without another word.

For what felt like a long time Silver just sat in the elevator; she was thinking too hard to realize that she hadn't pushed the button for her floor yet.

_Why can't I remember anything that happened? _Silver asked herself, _I remember not being able to sleep…which makes sense. I've always been able to sleep better when I'm by Near, _she thought, but she remembered him saying something and she couldn't remember what it was.

She sighed, she'd admit it – she liked Near. The only problem was that she might like Mello too, which was why she never acted on either of those feelings; she would never want to hurt either of them in any way.

_And maybe Mello doesn't like me like that, but I'm still his friend, and I know he wouldn't want to see me as his enemy's girlfriend, _she thought, suddenly feeling sorry that she had unintentionally hurt his feelings by staying with Near last night.

_But, maybe Near doesn't like me either, _she thought sadly, noticing that the elevator had been still for awhile. She knew that the elevator only moved when someone needed to use it, so she reached her hand out and was about to press her number when the elevator jostled upwards.

She didn't press her button and waited as the elevator stopped on a floor. She watched as the doors slowly opened and when they finally opened all the way she was only mildly surprised to see L and Light waiting there, handcuffed to each other.

Light smiled when he saw her and started to talk nonchalantly about what a nice morning it was, but then stopped when he saw her worried face, "Are you okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned, while L just seemed to stand there, analyzing everything like he always did.

"You two aren't going to start fighting, now, are you?" She asked, only half-kidding as they stepped in the elevator and she kindly pressed a button for them, and one for herself.

They both looked at each other and shrugged, "Well, don't," Silver said sternly, "I'll have to hit you both if you do. If Mello can refrain from hitting Near while we're here, then you two can refrain from fighting as well," She lied, knowing that Mello had been just as brutal to Near as before, but this time he was much more cunning and deceiving, letting the tormenting go under the radar.

"I think we're over that, aren't we, Ryuzaki?" Light asked calmly, "He doesn't seriously think I am capable of murdering people anymore, now do you?" Silver mentally face palmed.

"Why, yes Light. I do think you are capable of such a thing," L replied simply.

_Oh, not again, _Silver groaned.

At first, Light just sat there, weighing his chances. Then, without a second of hesitation leaned back, and punched L smack in the middle of his face. L's reflexes, however, were fast. Within the second Light had managed to pull his fist back L had gotten to the floor and kicked Light in the face.

Silver took it as her window of opportunity. She used the chain that linked them together for leverage and combined what little she knew of Judo along with her other martial arts skills, and flipped both of them on the floor, pinning them against each other.

"I told you that I would have no choice but to restrain you," She said, a vicious smile on her face.

"Actually," L clarified, his voice muffled by Light, "You said that you would have to _hit _us, not restrain us."

"Oh yes," she said, "I'm sorry, thanks for reminding me, L." She said, smacking them both over the head.

"You didn't have to _remind _her," Light fumed.

"Well," Silver said, noticing the stalled elevator, "I'd love to stay and chat, but this happens to be the floor I had intending to get off on," she said, wrapping the chain around them, "Goodbye!"

She walked down the corridor to the door at the end of the hallway. The corridor was empty, just as Near's had been, and there was a glass table on the side with a glass vase.

_He breaks everything, how has he managed to keep that safe? _She asked herself, chucking.

She sharply knocked twice on the door, "Hey, Mello, we need to talk."

* * *

"_Here it comes, you'll probably tell me everything you think, here it comes, the place and the time that we knew everything could go wrong," – Here it Comes, Modest Mouse_


	15. Clocks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Clocks"

* * *

L began to pace around his room. Light had finally fallen asleep and he could think peacefully now. Silver's behavior had been bothering him lately.

She seemed especially on edge, it was to the point where she couldn't play chess with Near anymore without accidentally knocking a piece over because her hands were shaking so badly and L was beginning to worry.

L truthfully and honestly thought of each of the Whammy's children as a member of his family, though he didn't care to admit it, and could say that he was genuinely worried about Silver's behavior.

L had known Silver had secrets from the day he met her. There was something different about her compared to the average child. The way she walked and talked were far beyond the normal behavior for someone her age, even for someone of her intellect.

It wasn't as if she were too perfect, like some people try to appear when they have secrets, but as if someone were doing an outrageously exaggerated impersonation of what Silver would be. Instead of trying to hide who she was, like most people would, she was trying _too hard to be herself again. _Were Silver's secrets finally getting to her?

Normally, L would let Silver handle it on her own, he strongly believed that the children at Wammy's were very capable of handling social and mental matters on their own, but this appeared to be different. Extremely different.

It was the way _she _looked at _him _that bothered L. He, himself, thought this was hypocritical of him. He had been given the reputation of a pervert for the way he looked at people, the way he analyzed them. Now, it had seemed like Silver was analyzing him. That she could read him as easily as any book.

She had seemed worried though. Her brow would furrow when she looked at him, as though she couldn't see something quite right. Or that's how it was at first. Over the days, however, her expression had changed. It began to grow more and more depressed, until it finally just went blank.

Whenever L would try to speak with her, she'd bite her lip and nod, saying as little words as possible, being very inactive in the conversation, and when he asked her detailed questions, she would turn as blank as a sheet, looking somewhat like a frightened deer until he quit and left her alone.

He wasn't the only one who noticed though, the boys had too. All of them began to watch her, just as she watched L. The two younger boys slowly began to realize what was happening, that Silver might just be watching a ticking clock…

* * *

Silver stared at the ceiling of her room. She wasn't able to breathe, let alone move. Things were beginning to dawn on her. L had hardly any time left.

"I was wondering when you'd notice, Snow." Zellogi said quietly from the corner. He'd gotten accustomed to calling her Snow; her complexion had grown so pale that she looked almost as white as Near. The only thing that retained color was the pink skin under her fingernails.

Silver simply grumbled in reply, she couldn't do more than that these days. She barely managed to hold herself together around Near and Mello, but L's time was running out.

That's when Silver's hate for Light officially started to blossom. She had no reason to hate him; his life span was still there, meaning he didn't own a death note, whatsoever. But, she wanted someone to blame, and who better than the one suspected of being Kira?

"Oh, stop it, Snow," Zellogi said. He'd dealt with Silver's bouts of sadness and rage, but he honestly didn't want to see her depressed. It was just no fun. "It could always be worse." He finished with a smile, knowing exactly how to press her buttons.

Silver sat up stiffly. Her bones felt like metal. She made rigid movements until she faced Zellogi. "What the hell are you talking about?" Zellogi almost would have enjoyed this, if it weren't for the tone of her voice. It didn't sound menacing. In fact, it sounded weak and defenseless.

"Snow, you know how you could save him?" Zellogi asked, an evil smile playing on his face.

"How?" Silver asked, she knew she would regret asking it, but the words came out so readily, she wanted to save L, but not if it meant what Zellogi was implying.

"You could always _kill _Light. They'd never trace it back to you. You could make it as gruesome and horrendous as you wanted t-" Silver cut him off before he could finish. She didn't want to hear this. Zellogi could kill. Zellogi _wanted _to kill. But her? No, _she _could not kill.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, it's wrong." She replied simply, laying back down and turning away.

"He's going to _kill _him. Don't you want revenge?" He taunted, trying to get her to do it.

"An eye for an eye will only make the world go blind." She stated simply, remembering Gandhi.

"That human, Mahatma Gandhi, as you call him, was wrong. It's one time it can't hu-" He stopped when he realized that Silver was no longer paying attention, and he wasn't going to waste his breath on measly human lives.

* * *

Mello glared at the wall. He cursed violently in his head, desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with Silver. They had talked in his room only a few weeks ago, and now she was _this. _Lifeless, it was like she was just gone. She didn't even pay attention to him anymore, and he wouldn't have tolerated that from anyone, not even her, if she hadn't looked so hopeless.

"Damn it!" He cursed outwardly, pounding his fist into the wall. He had to know what was wrong; he couldn't stand being in the dark any longer.

"She's depressed," Came the ever so annoying, monotone voice that was Near's.

"You think I didn't know that?" Mello yelled at Near, of course he knew that, it was so plain on her face. So hard to miss… but the question was, why?

"The clock is ticking." Near said, straightening his back to finish his card house.

"Stop speaking in damned riddles, Near!" Mello yelled. Mello had been awake with him all night trying to figure Silver out, and all Near did to help was speak in riddles. Mello didn't dare hit Near though. Back when Silver was still Silver, she never liked it when he hit Near. Now it was too late, but he would still try, maybe if he were kind to Near she would comeback… or that's what he hoped anyways.

"I'm not the one making up the riddles," Near started, but Mello was too on edge to let him finish.

"Then who the hell did, Near? Your imaginary friends?" Mello seethed, picking Near up by the collar, he wouldn't hit him, but at least he would try to scare him.

However, Near remained unfazed like he always did, "No. She did."

"What do you mean?" Mello asked, dropping him to the floor.

"You're probably asleep by then, but every night she walks. She walks around the place, touching the walls and speaking to herself. Once, I heard her say 'the clock is ticking'. In fact, if you keep up this rebuking, she is sure to hear." He said calmly, and as if he had foretold it, the door opened and a dainty figure stepped in.

Silver looked visibly sick. She was thinner than Near and looked more like a doll than a living being. She moved like she was carrying a thousand pounds of invisible weight that bound her to the floor. Her hair was straggly and she wrapped her arms around herself in such a delicate manner, it seemed as if she were holding herself together.

"What's all the commotion?" Her words were quiet and unsettling. The boys replied with the best excuse they could, they didn't want to worry her anymore. "Do you mind if I stay awhile?" She asked so quietly the boys had to lean to hear her. All they could do was nod. They both wanted her to stay so badly. They both wanted her to be happy too.

They sat quietly for awhile, Mello nibbling on his chocolate, Near playing with his soldiers, when Silver started to drift off. The smells were so familiar and comforting, and the sounds were simple, but they made her so happy. It was her lullaby, it always had been, and she drifted off.

Mello and Near didn't move for hours. They didn't want to disturb her, she looked peaceful when she slept, and it was something neither of them had seen in weeks, but it felt like years, and so they stayed like that until they, too, had fallen asleep.

The following morning, all three woke up to a noise downstairs. Mello ran for the elevator when he realized Near and Silver were just walking. He was irritated that they didn't seem to care, but waited for them, impatiently.

"Thank you, Mello." Silver said quietly, pushing the Lobby button on the elevator. When they arrived, there was a party downstairs, well mostly Matsuda was partying.

"What is it, Matsuda?" Mello asked, quickly and urgently.

"We're going to catch Kira, tonight!" He exclaimed, and Mello's face brightened.

"How?" He asked, and everyone almost smiled at the childish expression on Mello's face, so full of excitement and happiness.

"A fake broadcast on Sakura T.V.! He'll have no choice but to come to the studio and try and kill me there, and then we'll catch him." Mello was too excited to realize the second part of Matsuda's sentence.

"Kill you?" Silver asked quietly, and Matsuda's face fell immediately.

"Don't worry, by then there will be a decoy… but there still is a small chance." Then it dawned on her. L would be there as part of the rest… and he only had a little over twenty-four hours left…

Twenty-four hours…

Twenty-four hours…

And that was all it took. Silver succumbed to grief, and fell to the floor, unconscious.

* * *

"_You walk on like a woman in suffering, won't even bother now, to tell me why, you come alone, letting all of us savor the moment," – Stricken, Disturbed_


	16. I've Figured You Out

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"I've Figured You Out"

* * *

Silver felt like she was underwater. She didn't feel like she was drowning, just separated. She couldn't hear right - she just got snippets of what was going on above. Everything seemed blurry, too. However, she was comfortable; it felt like a brand new feeling to her, like stepping into a warm bath for the first time. She wasn't thinking either, just enjoying the sounds of the familiar voices that came to her in whispers.

Then she began to think. Something was nagging at her, something she couldn't forget, but wanted to. It was an itch in her mind that she just couldn't scratch. Then things began to unfold in her mind, the black shroud that was covering her memory began to lift away.

And then she remembered. She was so in shock at the sudden realization that she burst through the surface of the water that surrounded her, only to find herself in a bright room.

The light hurt her eyes, and she wasn't able to see for an entire minute. Surrounding her were the faces of those she loved, and she almost exhaled a sigh of relief when her eyes fell upon L.

She loved L like a father, and she couldn't bear to look at him anymore. The clock above his head was too much, it shouldn't be there. In fact, she had the nagging feeling that it was _her _fault it was there. It shouldn't be there. L was only twenty five; he should live to be a hundred. That's what he deserved. He had saved the world from so much hurt, so much crime, he deserved a long life.

But, fate had said _no. _Or, that's what Silver wanted to believe. She wanted to believe L would die of natural causes; she wanted to believe that he would go peacefully, and that was the only thought that kept her going. That maybe that was what was going to happen, maybe she was getting all worked up over nothing, and maybe he wouldn't even die. Silver refused to believe that Kira was playing with L like a puppet on strings. Kira shouldn't be able to decide L's fate; it should be L's decision and L's alone.

Mello was the first to say anything. "You keep fainting on us, Silver, it's seriously not funny anymore," He contradicted his statement with a big smile and pulled her up.

Silver smiled back, but she knew the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Sorry, Mello, I guess I was just happy about finally catching Kira." The lie burned her mouth, it felt like drinking acid. She hated saying she was happy, but if it convinced Mello, or anyone, she was happy to lie.

She spent the rest of the day in Near's room, she couldn't stand to see L, nor could she put up with faking smiles and lying all day. That's why she liked Near's room. It was quiet, he never asked her questions, nor did he care to see her fake smiles. In fact, he looked uncomfortable whenever she even tried to fake a smile.

Near's silence bothered everyone, except her, and Near liked that about her. He was able to think and be himself around her, and she wouldn't give him weird looks or make a snide remark. Instead, she would sit there happily and accept Near with open arms.

"What are you doing?" Silver asked, noticing what he was doing.

For the past hour Near had stared at a puzzle. An incomplete puzzle. It was the puzzle Silver had bought for him, and he had just the last piece to put into place, but he had just sat there playing with it with his fingers for the past hour.

Near didn't answer. He didn't know what to say. He had been solving Silver's depression like a puzzle. That's how he always did things. Whenever he was figuring out something, he'd think of it as a puzzle. Every time he figured out a small portion of the problem, he would put in a puzzle piece until he had solved the issue, or in other words, the puzzle was complete.

Silver waited patiently for awhile, and when Near didn't answer, she answered for him. "You're trying to figure me out, aren't you?"

Near was startled by her sudden conclusion, but answered her with a carefully controlled voice. "How did you arrive upon that conclusion?"

A laugh bubbled in Silver's throat. It felt unnatural, and came out forced and slightly guttural. "I know you Near. I can read you like a book."

Near shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't deny it, he knew that _was _true. He had let Silver, over time, become close to him. He had shown way too much emotion around her, and had let himself slip up too many times. He searched his mind for the correct words, to try and steer her away from the conclusion that was in his mind, but instead he responded on an impulse.

"I can read you, too."

Silver shifted uncomfortably. She knew it couldn't be true. She had been hiding her true self, there was no way he could have seen through her masquerade.

But he had. Silver had forgotten about all of her early slipups, but Near hadn't. He never would. He knew what Silver was upset about and it was the unmistakable truth. He had found out the night he had caught Silver walking in the hall for the first time.

_Puzzles. Puzzles. Puzzles. Puzzles with no problem were boring. Games were turning unattractive. The only thing that ever kept him happily entertained was Silver. As much as he hated to admit it, Silver was important to him._

_Near closed his eyes, it almost felt painful to close them, knowing that he had kept them open far too long. He opened his eyes for a moment to check the time. It was three in the morning. He should really get to bed soon…_

_Then a shuffling came from outside in the hallway. Near wasn't quite sure how he heard it, but he recognized the sound of socks on tile. _

_He stood up and stretched. He hated standing and walking, his body wasn't really used to it. He shuffled to his door and opened it. Outside he saw Silver, touching the wall for balance and walking slowly, completely oblivious to him. He decided to watch her, if only for a moment when she began to mumble._

"_The clock is ticking…" She said slowly, repeating it for a minute or two, and then abruptly stopped, and continued to walk down the hallway. _

_Even after he had gone inside and was sitting in his bed, the thought was there._

_The clock is ticking…_

_The clock is ticking…_

_The clock is ticking…_

_And then it occurred to him. Why hadn't he noticed it before? It was obvious in Silver's personality. It was right there, and it had completely flew over his head. He wasn't sure how Silver knew, but just then, the puzzle pieces fell into place, all except one._

_It was L's clock that was ticking._

So he sat in front of the incomplete puzzle, thinking. He knew that L was going to die, Silver was debating whether to stop it, and that Silver certainly wasn't the killer. He had no hard evidence to prove that, but he knew, somehow, Silver was NOT the killer.

The only thing that he didn't know was what the murder weapon would be. He felt that if he knew just that, he could solve everything. The case, Silver's depression, and how to save L. But he couldn't, and it was the only time he ever felt vulnerable. He was even borderline afraid. Not for himself, but for the people that he had so carelessly let himself get attached to.

Then he turned to look at Silver, and realized that she had been looking at him. It felt like the air had stopped circulating throughout the room, and they were caught at a stand-still. There was a strange sense of hostility in the air, and Near could feel the fibers in the carpet chafing the sensitive skin on his ankle.

Silver did not want him to know things. She felt that any sense of security she had around him, or around anybody, would be compromised if they knew things. She wasn't mad at him, she was mad at herself. She had made friends, had become close to people, only to have the trust and faith they had in her to be compromised.

That's how the rest of her stay in Near's room was. They glanced at each other occasionally, and when they caught each other glancing at themselves, they would try to nonchalantly look away, but it never appeared that way.

When the call finally came, when it was their designated time to leave, they were happy. They weren't sure how much longer they could handle themselves in that tense situation.

"Please! L can we please go on the helicopter with you?" Mello was begging. He looked so much like a toddler, with that trying-to-be-innocent look on his face.

"You have to promise to stay in the helicopter, unless in danger, and to wear these masks." L said, holding up a few black helmets.

"Understood!" Mello said, clearly not happy about the helmets, but willing to take any compromise he could get.

L, Silver, Light, Mello, and Near loaded into the helicopter, Mello was clearly upset that L and Light got to sit in the front, and he did not.

Near and Silver were beginning to grow bored after a half an hour in the helicopter when they got an urgent page from the police.

"_Suspect heading east. All teams move in." _Sounded the message, almost blocked by static. The events that happened in the next fifteen minutes were a blur to Silver.

L had gripped the controls and immediately started heading east. None of them knew that L had such quick reflexes.

They had followed a car that you would expect to see in some rich, snobby, suburban neighborhood for no more than fifteen minutes when the suspect was cornered.

They had sped toward the brigade of policemen and it seemed, for a moment, as if he would just try to plow through the cars, but the car screeched, and spun around the back of another car almost crashing into the police cars. It had begun to charge southward when another army of police cars became visible out of the distance.

Mello's face was pressed to the window, and he chuckled before murmuring that it was all over now. Silver looked out the window but quickly took her face away from it… she didn't want to know what was going on.

The car spun out of control and slammed into the side of the bridge. Policemen swarmed the car, standing in a line that Silver thought looked really classy, they were all in tuxedos, black helmets on, in neat rows evenly spaced. It definitely reminded her of something in a James Bond movie.

The chief stepped forward, and opened the door, ripping the suspect out of his seat.

"Put a headset on him as planned." Light said, and Silver tensed.

The policemen put a headset on Higuchi, and very roughly at that. Silver instinctively raised a hand to touch her ears.

"Higuchi, how do you kill people?" L said abruptly, wasting no time. Higuchi just moved his head forward, indicating he was unwilling to speak.

"I will use any means necessary to get it out of you." L said and even then _Silver _was willing to share her secrets. He seemed so menacing, even though she knew he wasn't really scary at all.

"I have a notebook… you probably won't believe me… but if I write someone's name in it, that person dies." The police started searching in his bag, and Silver's blood ran cold.

She remembered the day that they were sitting in the courtyard, just Near and herself.

_Dew covered each blade of grass, cooling her legs. She stared up at Near and saw him staring at the bench. The air was moist and cool, and thoughts were running through her head at an alarming speed. _

_She had forgotten that she had left the death note on the bench, and Near was staring directly at the cover. She felt so stupid for leaving it out… but now Near knew, even if he hadn't said anything, she was sure that he knew. _

Silver prepared what was coming. The screams of the policemen fell on deaf ears. She clenched her eyes shut. And then, it happened. Far too soon for Silver. The policeman handed L the notebook.

Light and Mello stared at it awestruck. Near was looking at Silver, knowing she was extremely tense.

And L? He was too mesmerized by his own thoughts to realize what was happening. Light had just snatched the notebook. When L finally realized, everyone was staring at Light with dumb expressions.

He was sitting there. His mouth hanging open like a dying fish. Then he screamed, and it wasn't a shrill shriek like when you watch a scary movie, but a guttural and defying sound that simply can _not _fall on deaf ears. And then it happened.

Above Light Yagami's head, the numbers began to deform, but it was all wrong. The lifespan was still there, just drastically decreased. Then, L's began to decrease too, but only by mere moments.

Then with a flick of his wrist he pulled his watch four times, while Mello was focused on the Shinigami because he had managed to reach past L and grab the notebook.

"Are you okay, Light? I'm sure a sight like that would scare anyone." L asked, he was too kind.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I wonder what would happen if we put this through forensic analysis." And just as he finished his statement, Higuchi dropped to the ground, dead.

"What's wrong?" L shouted into the microphone.

"H-h-higuchi just died of a heart attack." Came the startled voice over the receiver.

We sat there confused a moment, as Light compared the names in the computer. "They're all a match for who died." Light said, handing the notebook to the back. Mello glanced at it a second before giving it to Near.

Near stared at the cover, analyzing it, his brain making connections with the recent events. On it, clearly in Japanese, were the words _Death Note._ Near raised his head to look at Silver, and gave her a look that chilled her to her very bones.

_He knows, _Silver thought, horrified.

* * *

"_I'm confident, but I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you, I knew you could see right through me," – Stranger, Secondhand Serenade_


	17. Regrets

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Regrets"

* * *

Silver's breath caught in her throat, she didn't dare look at Near, but he was looking at her. She could feel it. It felt like she was on fire, his eyes drilling holes into her skin. She wanted, no needed the feeling to stop, she so badly needed Near's trust, and she knew that she had betrayed him.

She slowly raised her gaze to meet his eyes. His eyes were ice could, she could tell he was thinking – calculating who she really was inside. He was wondering he had judged her wrong, he doubted if she was even his friend at all. He was wondering if she was just another backstabbing girl that he needed to be rid of. He didn't hate her, no, but he wondered if he should because she had deceived him. She had weaseled her way into his life, all because he fell for her façade.

She couldn't blame him for hating her, though. It was true, she had deceived him, even without meaning to… she just wanted to be the person that he wanted her to be, because she knew that if she wasn't he would never like her. She felt paralyzed, she didn't know what to do under that gaze of his. She couldn't move at all.

_Actually, _she thought, glancing at him, _He's looking at me like he normally does. No emotion, nothing… somehow this feels worse… _she thought. She suddenly felt like she was being swallowed by the darkness she'd been harboring in her heart… she couldn't hear anymore, she couldn't smell, taste, or even feel. All she could see was Near's face in the distance as she was pulled down into a sea of blackness. The sea was pulsating, a light purple illuminating the black that surrounded her.

She had never been more horrified in her life, but, she remained intact. She didn't break inside, and she remained strong. She held onto the belief that if she held on strong, she would make it through this. She'd always imagined this moment, the moment Near found out who she really was… what she was hiding, and she'd always thought it would be worse. She thought she would break inside… she thought it would feel like her insides were imploding, that no matter what she did she would crumple and shrivel into nothing.

So, she turned away from Near and refused to look at him, knowing that if she stole a glance at him she would cry. She was losing something that she never even had, and that automatically proved that she was an utter failure.

_If I lose what I never had, what does that make me? _Silver asked herself.

* * *

Back at headquarters things hadn't gotten any better, Near's gaze never left Silver, and Silver felt herself growing more and more anxious, "You saw his lifespan disappear, you have proof now. Just kill him!" Zellogi was shouting at her, she stopped in the hallway, turning away from the camera in the deserted hallway. She had been trying to find a way to talk to him all night, but she couldn't in the helicopter.

"I don't think _Light _is going to kill L," Silver whispered, "It's going to be the Shinigami, and I think that makes L's death inevit-" She couldn't finished; she didn't want to say it. L was the closest thing she ever had to a father - that she really remembered anyway, and she didn't want to give it away. She knew it was selfish, but she was proud to be if it meant keeping L.

So, Silver panicked, "How do I kill Rem?" She begged, "Zellogi, please," she asked, growing completely helpless and falling to her knees.

"You can't," he said, his voice uncaring. _How can he not care? _Silver screamed inwardly, _Those were the words I was fearing, the two words I've always feared. I can't do anything, _she thought, anger bubbling inside her.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?" She shrieked at him, "HOW CAN YOU NOT _CARE?_" She screamed, this time not caring if anyone heard her, in the distance she heard Mello's heavy footfalls coming down the hallway, and light sounds of Near's socked feet following.

"Listen to me," Zellogi interjected, "They're coming, they can't see you talking to me," He tried to warn her, but she wouldn't listen to him.

"No! You _LISTEN_ to _ME_! I love him like my _own family _and after all we've been through that's all you can't talk about! _I hate you_!" She screamed, hitting him with her fist as hard as she could. Then her knees couldn't take anymore and fell out from under her. It took her a moment to realize that she was crying and Mello and Near had been right behind her to watch her last outburst.

Then she felt it, something inside her was growing weak, and she was sure that it would soon break. The mental walls she had carefully built, that protected her from the fact that L's lifespan was shrinking every day, were crumbling. She had denied reality, and now she had to pay the price.

_You can't dream forever, _she told herself through the tears, _Now, when I wake up reality is going to come back…_

* * *

_Stupid girl, _Zellogi thought to himself, _What does she know? She doesn't know me at all. _He had been hiding for the past few hours; he didn't want to see her. She had told him that she hated him.

_After all I've done for that stupid wretch of a girl, _Zellogi thought, surprised that he was so beat up over what she had said, _Why do I even care? _He thought vigorously, and was slightly surprised when he saw Rem standing near him.

"Maybe because you've actually gotten attached to her, you have been with her for quite a few years," Rem commented wisely, and it took Zellogi a few moments to realize that he had asked the question aloud.

"That's impossible. No, _she's impossible." _He said sending a glare to the girl who was now napping on the couch, Near and Mello watching her with concerned expressions. Then his face softened, he couldn't be mad at her, she just looked so peaceful on the couch… "Maybe I was insensitive… She is close to him,"

A cackling laugh came from behind the two and they turned around suddenly, "Ryuk!" Zellogi greeted, "Aren't you supposed to be in the Shinigami world?"

"Can't I visit for an apple?" Ryuk asked, munching on a probably stolen apple, "Mmm," he moaned, "So good."

"I don't know why you like them so much. We don't even need to _eat._ Why waste time on such a boring activity?" Zellogi asked, clearly annoyed with his sudden approach.

"What's the word for them?" Ryuk asked, thinking, "Ah, they're _juicy,_" he said, swallowing the rest of the apple whole, "It's such a nice change from the dry apples in the Shinigami realm."

"Whatever, Ryuk. Go back _home _where you belong." Zellogi retorted.

"Fine. I'll be back, and I have a feeling we'll see each other again, and _soon." _Ryuk said, leaving with a laugh. Zellogi felt sick to his stomach, he knew _exactly _what Ryuk meant.

_Will Silver ever sleep like that again?_ He asked himself, looking at the napping girl.

* * *

"_Near, _just _shut the fuck up." _Mello hissed. "She's sleeping, for god sake." For the last hour Near had tried to explain, for some reason, to Mello what the theory of quantum physics was. Of course, Mello already knew what it was, but he knew Near well enough to know that Near was on edge. He couldn't blame him though, because he was too.

"Aren't you worried?" Near asked, and Mello stopped. He would have missed it if Near's monotone hadn't been dancing on his nerves for the past eleven years. Near's voice had relayed a small but definite amount of emotion.

And for the first time in his life, Mello did not reply to Near in a fancy retort, get upset with Near, or try to hit him. Instead he replied with, "Yes, I am." and looked down, afraid at what may happen to Silver. He knew her well, he knew that her sense of intuition was great, that or someone had given her inside tips to the future. And he knew that she knew something very bad was going to happen, and in the near future.

Mello had been staring off into the distance, trying to figure everything out, when Silver woke up. "Hi, guys." She said sleepily.

"What happened back in the hallway?" He asked, his voice sharp. He didn't mean to be mean, but he wanted answers, and he definitely wanted them now.

"I was… well… I don't rea-" She was interrupted by yelling from the computer room.

"What's happening, Ryuzaki!" Light's frantic scream came. All three children scrambled from the positions on the couch to see what the commotion was. On all the computer screens was a simple message written in red.

_All data erased._

"Watari!" Ryuzaki yelled, he was rambling things at a mile a minute when he stopped and looked around. "Where's the Shinigami?" He shouted, and everyone stopped to look around.

L sat down and began to shout orders, everybody began frantically running around, trying to figure out what was happening, all except Silver.

Silver was frozen. The numbers were like a bomb ticking down from ten. Shrinking, smaller and smaller, _they wouldn't stop_. He only had seconds left.

_Stop, _she commanded the numbers, _stop decreasing! Just stop it!_

"_L!" _She screamed dashing toward him. He gave her a look of confusion before stopping and turning his gaze straight at Light. Silver stopped in her tracks and watched in horror.

L had begun to fall out of his chair. He was slipping out of his chair, just as he was slipping away from the world. He fell to the floor, and instantly Light and Silver were at his side.

He looked up, through them. He had never felt so peaceful in his life. For the first time he felt well rested, and all of the stress that had accumulated from all of his cases, was just…gone. He looked once more at his three successors, and let go.

Silver watched in disbelief. How could he look so peaceful? How could he be so peaceful knowing that this _monster _had gotten away. How could he? It wasn't fair; _Light Yagami _should be dead on the floor! Not her friend, her family, one of the few people who had probably genuinely believed in her.

"_It's all your fault, Light!" _She shrieked, reaching to strike him. She cleanly slapped him across the face, and right when she was about to smack him until his cheeks bled, something inside her finally broke.

She didn't even have the strength to hold herself upright anymore. She crumpled to the floor, she just laying there, her breath uneven as she felt like she faded from the world. Everything in her had gone numb, she felt like she was falling apart, right there on the floor. So she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to hold the pieces together, when she knew one of them would never fit again.

When L died a part of her died too.

* * *

"_It's so loud inside my head, with words that I should have said, as I drown in my regrets, I can't take back the words I never said," – Words I Never Said, Lupe Fiasco _


	18. I Like You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"I Like You"

* * *

Silver lay awake, she wished she was dreaming. She wished that she could wake up from the horrible nightmare she found herself in. But, she knew she wouldn't ever wake up. She had tried, unsuccessfully, to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't just open her eyes and find that none of this had _really_ happened, it was all real. Death was real.

Knowing that didn't help like she thought it would, though. Her insides still felt empty, she felt like a hollow body with no purpose and no meaning, she was just condemned to walk the Earth feeling empty. She knew that she would never see the bright colors L brought to her life again; everything had melted together into a dreary shade of grey.

Well, except for Light. Whenever Light dared to cross her mind the whole world flashed an angry red. Her thoughts toward Light reminded her of Mello's towards Near, she would almost lose control of herself entirely. She had become some sort of an animal, but that wasn't what sickened her the most. What sickened her was that whenever Light entered her thoughts, her senses, she couldn't help but think of the Death Note.

It seemed like it held all of the answers that she needed, to everything, or any problem that she could ever had. She found that resisting the urge to write his name was growing tougher every single day. Silver was slowly morphing into an extremely angry person, even angrier than Mello.

Each minute was a struggle for her, fighting so her anger wouldn't consume her. Sometimes she would even lash out at Near unexpectedly, and she felt terrible that he would never lash out back. Every single time she would feel guilty for hours before finally breaking down. She knew she was losing it, and fast. But the worst part was that everyone knew, even Matsuda.

Silver tossed again, trying to fall asleep, "Hi," a voice broke the uncomfortable silence. Silver froze, it had been so _long. _Days, maybe even weeks, his voice was almost totally alien to her.

"It's been awhile since we talked," Silver mumbled stupidly, turning to face him.

"I've been… around,"

"Zellogi, you can't hide from me forever. You haven't come to see me since L died. How long has it been? Three weeks?" She asked, gripping the cotton blankets. He'd been hiding from her, she had missed him, but she'd never give him that.

"You're always a killjoy, Snow." He replied coldly. Silver picked up his tone though. There was so much hidden in his voice, she could figure him out _so easily. _

"Are you serious? You stopped hanging around me because I'm _depressed__!_" She asked sternly, and all Zellogi could manage was to shift uncomfortably.

"Sorry," He mumbled from the corner. He had never _meant _to stop seeing her. It had just happened. He was afraid she'd confront him. That she was going to make him tell her what was going to happen, _the truth._

"Whatever." Silver muttered, getting up and putting on a sweater.

"Where are you going?" Zellogi inquired.

"I need to see him, too. Seeing you again made me remember I can't hide from this forever," She said, smiling. She glanced at the clock and had some second thoughts. "Do you think I should go? It's four in the morning." She finished looking away.

"He's usually up this early," Zellogi reassured her. "Do you want me to come with?"

"No, I should probably do this alone." Silver said walking out of the room without another notice. If she didn't do this quickly she would change her mind.

She pressed the button for the elevator and found it open with a start; she slowly walked in a waited for the doors to close. She sat there for a few minutes, her hand hovering over his button. When they had first moved in Silver could never remember their floors, so she put cute little stickers on the buttons. Mello's had a scratch and sniff chocolate sticker, she had a kitten sticker, and Near had a cute little sheep sticker.

Silver breathed and put her thumb over the sheep sticker, slowly placing a small amount of pressure on the button, hoping that it was broken. The button lit up under her finger and the elevator jostled upwards. After just a moment the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

She slowly walked to the door and knocked softly, and when a few minutes passed and he still hadn't answered she got on her hands and knees and peered under the door, finding no light coming from under the door. _This can't be, _she thought, _he never sleeps… but the lights are out._

Silver knew she shouldn't be there. She shouldn't disturb him on the rare occasion that he was sleeping, yet some invisible force made her open the door. She watched in horror as she reached up and grabbed the doorknob. She wished the door had been locked. It would have been so much easier to walk away, but the door was unlocked and swung wide open.

Silver stepped inside. The room was virtually empty. There were no puzzles on the floor or card towers that had fallen, just a clean, white room.

"Where is he?" Silver grumbled aloud, checking the bathroom, living room, and kitchen. His room was the only place left to check.

Silver crept down the hallway and slowly opened the door. It creaked not once, but twice, before opening all the way. Each creak felt like an extremely loud noise that would surely wake him up.

In the middle of the room there was a small heap under the covers on the bed. Miraculously the creaking door hadn't awakened the sleeping boy.

Silver walked over and sat on the bed. She had never seen Near so at peace. Normally, he was calm, but never like this. He seemed, almost, angelic. Silver smiled, Near was dreaming. She wanted to stay there forever and just listen to his shallow breathing and barely audible mumblings.

Silver was in the middle of thinking some random thoughts when Near suddenly grasped her hand. Taking in a sharp breath she looked down at him, "Huh?" Silver asked, glancing at the sleeping Near.

Instantly, Silver could tell by his features that his dream had started to go horribly, horribly wrong. Panic flushed across his face, and for a moment Silver panicked too. She had only glimpsed tiny amounts emotion on Nears face. This was so _unnatural,_ so _surreal. _She was scared for him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry…" He moaned, his voice growing weaker. Silver had to wake him up; he had squeezed her hand so tight she was beginning to lose circulation.

"Near, Near! Wake up!" She yelled, trying to shake him awake. After what seemed like an eternity, his eyes finally opened.

For awhile he just stared at her in disbelief. It had been so long since they had been this close, at least without her screaming at him.

"Are you okay?" Silver asked cautiously, while staring into his eyes, trying to read him.

"Why are you here?" He countered.

"I was… I don't know." She answered softly, looking away.

She felt him tense, and looked down and noticed that they were still holding hands, but neither of them let go.

"Answer my question," Silver said, holding his gaze. He had reverted back to his apathetic self and Silver was trying, fruitlessly, to read him.

"I don't believe so…" He said quietly, staring off into space, refusing to meet her gaze.

Silver stared at him, not believing herself, _how have I been so narcissistic? How have I not noticed that my best friend has fallen into a state of disrepair? _She noticed that Near was skinnier than she remembered and he looked visibly sick, _something's really wrong with him._

"Near, what's wrong?" Silver asked tenderly, surprising herself by leaning toward him. In the dark room she almost missed the light shade of pink that spread across his face.

"Nothing," He said closing his eyes at an attempt to relax himself. "I am quite content."

"Near, don't lie to me." Silver said, still scanning his face for something, something to ruin his perfect porcelain complexion.

_Did I just say perfect? _She thought. But, when she looked at him again, she realized it was true. His skin was flawless, there wasn't a single imperfection. His eyes were perfect, too. They were grey and so deep; she almost melted at the sight of them.

She looked up at his hair. His perfect white cloud of hair that rested on his head so perfectly, he looked like an angel.

Her eyes moved down his face and rested on his lips. They were perfect, too. They seemed so soft so mesmerizing…

Her skin felt like it was tingling all over as she realized that Near was getting closer and closer. She never realized how much she really liked Near. How much she really _loved _him. She had just been too self-centered to realize that maybe he liked her too.

"I'm sorry, Near." She said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry I lied." She said softly.

Near didn't say anything for awhile. Eventually he looked up and reached out, ever so slowly, and cupped her face in his hands and wiped away her tears. The skin that covered his hands was so soft and warm, she wanted more. She looked up at him and realized that he was staring at her. Slowly, Silver began to lean closer to Near. She wanted to be right next to him. To feel his warm skin on hers, to know that maybe he forgave her…

Then, Near leaned forward and pressed his lips on hers. Silver felt like she was on fire. Her senses were overwhelmed; all she could think about was him. He was so warm, so real. When he pulled away, she still wanted more, but decided that it was up to him, whether she liked it or not.

All of the feelings of regret went away when she looked up at his face. He was giving her one of those rare childish smiles, those smiles that he seemed to have reserved just for her.

"I like you." He said, his smile unfaltering, and she felt special that he reserved that smile just for her. She'd never seen him give it to anyone else. It was a memory that she would cherish forever, one of her most prized memories.

"I like you, too." She replied stupidly, giving him a smile. Her skin stretched awkwardly, it had been so long since she had smiled.

* * *

"_Because when I looked up into your eyes, it didn't hurt at all, and I thought, be still my heart, this could be a brand new start for you," – Be Still My Heart, The Postal Service_


	19. Destroying A Home

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Destroying a Home"

* * *

Silver was finally beginning to notice things, the clear shade of ivory on Near's skin, his steady breathing, and that she truly thought that everything about him was perfect. And then it slowly came back, steadily reminding her. Near wasn't the only person in the building that she needed to see… this evening wasn't completely Near's. She had to see him too.

Mello.

She'd been putting off facing him for a really long time, Mello. The same impulsive boy she had first met by saving Near's hide. Although, she had noticed, Mello had slowly begun to change. He wasn't just a boy anymore, he had grown up, and Silver was afraid; what if she fell for the new Mello? What about Near? The boy she held so close now, would that all disappear?

_I can never really, unconditionally and undoubtedly, love Near when Mello is occupying so much of my mind too, what kind of horrible monster am I? _She asked herself, and it was beginning to trouble her how thoughts of Mello were coming to her mind so easily.

_So naturally._

Regardless, she decided, he was her friend and he very well had the right to see her when they hadn't talked in so long. So, she carefully untangled herself from the blanket and sat up.

"Where are you going now?" Zellogi's voice rang through the room; Silver jumped in response and let out a small squeal.

"Why the hell do you keep sneaking up on me?" Silver whispered harshly at him from across the room.

"No need to be so harsh, Snow. I am a Shinigami, I am where I am, and I'm actually supposed to follow you, or I think so anyway." He replied smugly, lying down in mid-air.

"Whatever, Zellogi," Silver replied standing up, "I am going to go see Mello, is he still awake at this fine hour?" Silver asked, looking at the digital clock that now read 4:30 AM.

"I gave you a nickname," He whined, "Why can't I have one?" He asked and Silver gave him a stern look, "Oh, and yes, your sweet Mello-kun is still awake," he replied, sinking through the floor to a different place. She really hated it when Zellogi teased her, but she was just going to have to deal with it.

Silver trudged through the floor on which Near resided until she approached the door. She silently opened it and stepped into the hallway. She had taken slow steps to the elevator and had just gotten on when she heard it.

_Crack._

She took nothing of it at first and got off the elevator at Mello's floor. Then it happened again. Closer this time, _louder._

_**Crack.**_

Silver whimpered slightly, it couldn't be storming outside. She had forgotten to watch the forecast, but earlier this week it had said clear nights, storm-free.

She hurried to Mello's room and barged in without knocking, she needed to be somewhere safe, and she needed to be there fast. Storms were scary; they ate up the night sky until there was nothing left but streaks of lightning.

Unfortunately, Mello was still awake and he was in his boxers and nothing else. Silver couldn't help but marvel. His body was so well sculpted for fifteen, he had a resemblance of a six-pack starting on his carefully sculpted torso, and she could tell that he was muscular, especially for his age. It made her look down at her body in disgust. Sure, she _was _a girl, but she was so physically challenged and unfit, she couldn't help but envy Mello.

"What the _hel-"_ Mello began, turning towards the door to see the 4:30 AM intruder. He quickly exited out of something on his laptop and half-closed the lid.

"I'm sorry, Mello." Silver said putting a hand to the back of her head and looking away in embarrassment. "I just thought I'd come see you."

"Mello, who's there?" A voice came out of the computer speakers. Silver thought she recognized the voice... it sounded so familiar.

"Shut up, Matt. I'm not supposed to have any contact with you!" Mello yelled at the computer.

Silvers mind went blank. It was Matt, and Matt meant... Matt meant _Sarah! _For a moment Silver forgot about the raging storm outside. All she could remember was her friend from the orphanage.

She darted over to the laptop and pulled the top open. She was relieved to see Matt's image with Sarah next to him, half-asleep.

"Hey, Matt, can you hear me?" She said to the laptop.

"Sure can," The screen replied, the web cam clearly showed Matt's smiling childish face. "You want to talk to Sarah?"

"Yeah!" Silver said with so much enthusiasm that it made Matt and Mello jump.

Sarah had just realized that the faces on the laptop had changed and if she could have she would have glomped the computer, but she was too tired. "Mello said I couldn't talk to you," A sleepy Sarah said looking into the computer screen.

Silver looked back at Mello, who shrugged, then at Matt. "So you don't care about any information about the maf-" Matt began when Mello interrupted him.

"_I have __**no **__idea what you're talking about, Matt."_ Mello growled, giving the screen an icy look. Silver looked between the computer and Mello many times, closing and opening her mouth; she wasn't sure what to say, were they hiding something from her?

"Silver, you look like a dying fish." Sarah's exhausted chuckle came over the laptops speakers.

"What are you guys hiding from me?" Silver finally managed to choke out. Mello had been keeping secrets from her. Mello had been keeping her _best friend _from her, and Silver was so angry that she had begun to clench her fists so tightly that little red crescents appeared where her nails had been.

"Nothing," Mello replied coldly and coolly, not meeting her gaze.

"What. Are. You. Hiding. From. _Me?_" Silver growled, shutting the laptop lid. She had stayed up this late to come see Mello because she _cared, _but Mello didn't even care to tell her that he'd made contact with her _best friend?_

"Silver, you're bleeding." He said, his voice concerned as he went into the kitchen to grab a towel.

"You think I care? How could you hide that from me? She's my best friend! Why would you do that to me?" She said, her voice level decreasing as she ranted, the tone was still the same, but she was too exhausted to keep up the volume of her voice.

"You think I wanted to? I wanted to tell you Silver, but you'd never forgive me. Once they get us out of here, I'm only going to be with you guys in the United States for a short while." He said quietly, holding her hand in his, putting the paper towel on her crescent-shaped cuts.

"You mean we're not going back to Winchester?"

"No, well you might be eventually, Near and I had plans for when L died." He said looking away.

Silver squeezed his hand tighter. "You mean," she voiced aloud, putting the pieces together, "you knew he would die?" Silver felt her legs go weak; knowing she might not be able to stand soon. "Why didn't you tell me...?"

"We didn't _know _we were just being prepared for every possibility. We had both been there, in that orphanage, since we were kids; we had always had to have a backup plan. I'm every bit as upset about L's death as you are, Silver." He replied in a slightly defensive tone, and if Silver hadn't known him as long as she had she would have missed the look in his eyes. Mello was every bit as shaken by L's death as Near or her.

He just refused to show it.

To him, emotion was weakness, and lately Silver couldn't help but agree. Then, Silver's knees gave out. They didn't want to stand anymore. _She _didn't want to stand anymore. She felt like she had to weight of the world on her shoulders, and it had become too much to bear.

Luckily Mello caught her before she fell, and carried her to the couch. The fear, the feeling of being lost had almost left her when it happened again. The storm outside had begun to rage, now every ten seconds a deadly crack ripped through the silence of the night, and Silver went hysterical.

She couldn't breathe, or even think. All she knew was that she had begun to cry and that her arms had found themselves wrapped around Mello's middle, and she was holding on so tight that she felt her nails cutting into her hands again. Mello was trying to soothe her, comfort her by whispering sweet nothings into her ears.

"It's going to be okay..." He kept repeating over and over, and before long Silver gave up and passed out in his arms.

Her dreams were not peaceful, though. The storm that was clouding her own mind had begun to rage. The repressed memories that had been there for so long were starting to come back. Images flashed through her mind of her mother. It had been so long since she had thought of her mother, mainly because Silver hated her mother with every fiber in her being.

Her mother had let them in, it was only a few years after her stepfather and she had gotten married, and the men introduced themselves as her stepfather's business associates. They were having a party to celebrate the company finally signing a deal with another company, so she let them in quickly. Silver shuddered when she saw them, they didn't look like any of the businessmen that she had seen her stepfather bring home before, these men were different. They were larger, scarier, and they wore big black coats that Silver could barely make out outlines of shapes.

"May I take your coats?" Her mother asked kindly, her voice unassuming. Silver ran into her room and hid in her closet, afraid of the men. And that's when she heard it.

There was screaming from below, and she recognized the screams. She could hear her mothers and her aunt's screams, and the calls of a few people who tried to fight back. There were loud noises like gunfire and Silver pressed her hands to her ears, trying to get the sounds out of her head.

Silver didn't take her hands away from her ears, and when things finally managed to grow quiet everything was dark. Cracks of lightning came from outside and Silver pressed her hands to her ears again, trying to drown out the noises.

_Things like this don't happen in real life, _she told herself, crawling out of the closet, _things like this only happen in stories and movies, _she continued to tell herself, slowly stepping down the stairs.

In the middle of a room stood a man, smiling at the mass of dead bodies, Silver stared, her eyes wide, still refusing to believe the situation. Slowly, the man turned his head to look at her.

"Stepfather?" She called out to him, trying to make sense out of the situation, using the banister to support her weight.

The shrill sound of lightning cracked through the house, and her stepfather turned toward her, still smiling, "Yes?" he answered and she looked at the floor, the piles of dead bodies, and then it began to make sense to her.

_He did this._

* * *

"_This is not my home, I think I'm better off alone, home. Home. This house is not a, home. Home. This house is not a, home. Home. This house is not a home," – Home, Three Days Grace_


	20. You Can Trust Me, I Promise

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"You Can Trust Me, I Promise"

* * *

"What?" Matt's horrified exclaim came from Rogers office.

"You're sending them _where?_"Sarah whined.

"To the United States, as I told you three times already, so they can live _normal, structured, and uninterrupted teenage lives."_ Roger said back, annoyed with their outbursts.

"Well they aren't exactly a bunch of _normal _children! How do you expect Kira to be caught?" Matt fired back.

"I'm sure another detective will take over the case until they are of age!" Roger argued.

"What about their friends? What about us? You just expect us to never see them again?" Sarah yelled back through clenched teeth.

"When you two are of age as well you may purchase a flight ticket to see them. Until then you are just out of luck." Roger flamed.

"What about me?" Sounded a small voice from the office door.

"Lilly," Sarah started before being interrupted by Matt.

"Yeah, what about Lilly? She's been missing Silver, Near, and Mello as much as we have. It's not easy being without a family. An orphan!" Matt screamed at Roger. Sarah turned to him and smiled.

"I can only see what I can do," Roger sighed giving in. "I'll be sure to contact you as soon as I can."

* * *

It was only eight in the morning when Mello awoke, and he was not ready to either. There was a soft knocking at the door and for a moment he thought about leaving it. Then he realized the sleeping girl on his chest and almost jumped up in surprise. Slowly then, the memories of last night flooded his mind.

He stood dumbstruck for a moment, he was unsure why Silver would come to him for comfort, and after all it seemed like Near was the one she was interested in.

_That dim-witted twit, _he growled in his thoughts. He slowly inched himself out from under Silver and laid her gently on the couch. He looked at her for a moment and then slowly walked to the door. He opened it slowly and nearly slammed it in the face of his guest.

"Good morning, Mello," Near greeted calmly, "May I come in?" Near asked from the doorway, acting is if they were old friends.

"Fine," Mello grunted, standing so that Near could enter, "And why the hell are you here?" he asked in a surprisingly light tone. Despite the fact that it was so early in the morning, he was out of chocolate, hungry, and had a back that ached like hell; Mello was happy.

Near walked over to the couch and stopped unexpectedly. His face, for just a moment, displayed disappointment and shock, which only improved Mello's mood. Then slowly, gradually, Near's face turned calculating.

"She seems… disturbed?" He asked himself, "No, upset?" He turned around to Mello, "Are you sure she's alright?" He asked.

"Why do you care?" Mello asked harshly, and watched Near sit on the other couch. Near didn't reply, and glanced at Mello. Mello knew that the question was absurd, but he asked it anyway.

"I came to talk to you about your arrangements in the United States, and to discuss hers," he said, gesturing to Silver, changing the subject.

"_You _know what I'm doing," Mello growled, "I don't care what Roger says, it's the quickest way to go about it without worrying about the government," he glanced at Near, "I expect you not to rat me out." He warned.

"I'm not interested in tattling, Mello," Near reassured, "However, I'm eighty-seven percent sure that she doesn't know anything about our plans, and if she found out about _yours in particular, _I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to tattle on you."

"Do you think I want to leave her?" Mello snapped back, "Because I don't. I have to, I have to avenge L, and don't you go and act like you're all high and mighty because you're going to leave her too!" He finished, his gaze leaving Near to look at the floor. Despite his growing hate for Near, he hated the fact that both of them were leaving her even more. He'd stopped caring about himself a long time ago, if he couldn't make her happy he wanted someone else to, and it didn't matter who.

"I want to stay," Near said, gazing at the floor.

"Can't she go with you?" Mello asked, his tone slightly pleading, "You are planning on staying with the government, right? She would be safe,"

"You and I both know that's not a possibility," Near said sharply, "You're taking Matt, aren't you? You'd put him in danger but not her?"

"You know that's different!" Mello yelled, "Matt can take care of himself," he finished, glaring at Near.

"Are you suggesting that she can't?" Near inquired, gazing at Mello.

"Don't do this to me, Near," Mello growled, "You know it's killing me, and it's killing you too. Besides, I could say the exact same thing to you. You're willing to risk _several _lives, the lives of children, without a second thought, but somehow not hers. Stop pointing fingers at me!" Mello yelled across the room.

Silver shut her eyes tightly, and neither of the boys knew that she had been awake the entire time that they had been arguing, and Silver didn't either until she felt the tears streaming down her face. Until then she had desperately clung to the same excuse she always did, _it was just a dream._

Silver sat up and ran out of the room, tears streaming down her face. She took the stairs and she didn't stop running until she reached her room; the entire way nearly tripping. She closed the door and put a chair in front of it – she didn't want to see either of their faces ever again.

* * *

Mello began to run after her when Near stopped him, "You can't go chasing her," he warned, "Think, she needs time to put herself back together again, before she can talk to either of us," Nears said, slightly solemnly as he stared down at his hands.

Mello didn't snap at Near, instead he just sat down beside him and looked down at his own hands, "You're right," he said quietly, and neither of them said anything for awhile.

"We could get along, if we weren't rivals," Near noted in the silence.

"No we couldn't," Mello disagreed calmly, "The only reason I'm being friendly to you is for her best interest,"

"Our personalities complement each others," Near added, ignoring Mello.

"I'm an ass and you're apathetic," Mello commented, smirking.

"You aren't always an ass, and I'm not always apathetic," Near replied, smiling lightly.

"Well, then," Mello paused, "You can go to hell," he said, smiling a real smile.

"Then there's a ninety percent chance that you will be joining me then," Near replied with his best apathetic tone, leaving Mello's room.

* * *

Silver didn't realize until she was in a small heap in the corner of her bedroom how badly she was shaking. She realized that she loved both of the boys, maybe in different ways, and that they were both planning on leaving her.

_They didn't even give it a second thought, _she thought to herself, _they think leaving me is their only option, and even though they both hate it, they're still planning on leaving me._

She continued to sob, holding herself, and she didn't know how long she had been in her room, it could have been seconds or hours, she didn't care anymore. Then there was a knock, a small and faint knock, but a knock all the same. Silver stood up and even though she could barely stand she staggered to the door. On her way she stopped at the bathroom and saw that her hair was straggly and stuck to her tear-streaked face. She stopped and glanced at the clock too – it had been only three hours since she ran out of Mello's room.

She opened her door quickly to see Near, looking blank. _Just like he always does, _she thought bitterly.

"What do you want?" She snapped at him, and his eyebrows raised slightly, but other than that there wasn't any trace of emotion, and that angered Silver.

"To see you," he said softly.

"Of course," Silver said angrily, "Why else would you be at my door? To break my heart?" She growled at him, fighting the urge to slam the door.

Again, Near's face displayed nothing. He didn't even raise his eyebrows anymore, "No," he stated calmly, and that's all Silver got – he didn't say anything else.

"Oh," Silver chided, "Of course not, you were planning on doing that later. In the United States when I can't follow you," she yelled at him.

"I came to apologize that you found out that way," he admitted, but his face still remained blank.

"Oh?" Silver asked, slightly surprised, "So you expected to take me to a fancy dinner first? Maybe give me a dozen roses with chocolates to top it off?" Silver countered, studying him harshly, but his face was still blank.

Near didn't reply and Silver had had enough. She started to close the door when Near stopped her, "I'm sorry," he whispered, looking at her with eyes that even she couldn't deny. She looked at him carefully this time, embedding those few moments in her brain. It was the first time she had seen this much emotion in Near. It was almost like he was crying, but then it was gone as quickly as it came.

"Why won't you give me something?" Silver asked carefully.

"What do you mean, like a gift?" Near inquired.

"No," Silver said sternly, "You know what I mean. Why won't you ever give me more than just a few moments of emotion?" She begged, wanting an honest and emotional answer from him.

"I am unsure of why I don't show very much emotion," Near said, looking down.

"That's what hurts the most, Near," Silver continued, "It's like you don't trust me enough to show me the real you…" She murmured, not really wanting to let Near know that she wanted him to show her emotion more than anything else in the world.

_It's selfish of me, _Silver thought to herself, _it's selfish of me to value Near's emotion more than stopping Kira, or saving a life._

"I trust you more than anything," Near said strongly, holding her gaze. Near knew that much was true, he may not trust her as much as he would like to, but he trusted her more than anybody else.

"It doesn't feel like it," She said, slightly embarrassed at how much she sounded like a pleading child.

Near didn't know how to reply, anyone could say that they trusted someone, but he knew that actions spoke louder than words, and decided he knew better than to try and press his point.

"I have to pack," Silver said suddenly, looking down, "Apparently we're boarding the plan tomorrow, Roger likes to keep the times fast and unpredictable," she said, twiddling her thumbs, "He's so paranoid," she commented, still refusing to meet Near's gaze.

"May I help?" Near asked carefully, not wanting to push Silver in the wrong direction.

"Sure," She said happily, "I can do my clothes, but do you mind the things like my pictures and CD's?" She asked, slightly more cheerful, knowing that she would at least get an hour or two more of his time.

Near agreed and slowly packed while Silver packed her clothes. He was about halfway done when she came out of her room, struggling with an unusually large suitcase that she carried to the door. Near smiled as she hobbled along, knowing that she was too strong-willed to accept help.

"Misa bought me a ton of clothes," Silver sighed, setting the suitcase down.

Near smiled lightly, "I didn't know you even liked half of these bands, they all just seem, a little obscure." Near said, analyzing one of her CD's.

"Oh yeah," Silver sighed, "I'm into a variety of bands, I like all music except for a few genres," she explained, "That's one of the newer bands I got into." Silver said, looking over his shoulder at the CD he was holding, "So how do you know about them? Heard about it somewhere? Your brain is like a dictionary and an encyclopedia had a kid, so I'm not surprised you know about them."

"Neither of those reference materials have genitalia," Near commented absentmindedly, "And I won't even attempt to convince you of that, but I don't remember where I heard about them."

Silver thought for a moment, "I think the dictionary would be the daddy," she said, "Because it seems so straightforward and to the point, kind of like you and Mello, while the encyclopedia has more of a personality," she thought, thinking aloud.

"A personality?" Near asked, confused, "I just thought it was reference material,"

"No, Near," Silver sighed, "Not like that, I'd just imagine it with more of a personality because if it were a person it would be curious, always wondering about the wonders of the entire world, learning about things, while the dictionary just wants to put a neat little definition of everything. Not everything can be defined," She said, staring off dreamily.

"Like love?" Near suggested, paying attention to her answer.

"Yeah," she replied, "It's like the best thing in the world. Sometimes I think it's better to just feel things, Near, not to think – just feel. It's something you can't describe. Letting your emotions consume you, even if it's only for a little while. I'd like to think that love is when you find someone you can do that with, share anything with," she finished happily.

"Share anything with?" Near asked, paying closer attention to her answer than before.

Silver didn't notice how much Near was beginning to cling to her every word, "Yeah," she agreed, "The one person that you could tell anyone, the person you could share your dreams with,"

Near didn't reply, he just thought about it. He thought about much he _wanted _to do that with her, he really truly wanted to share everything with Silver, but for some reason he couldn't, he wanted her to share something with him and he was most afraid of the thought that they would never get to share their secrets with each other.

Trust, that's what he realized it was about. He wasn't sure if he really trusted Silver, but he wouldn't let it show. He wanted to, he was sure of that much. She said she wanted him to trust her like she did him, but he was very aware that she kept a lot of things hidden. Near didn't want to push her into revealing her secrets, but he couldn't help but being hurt by the thought that she didn't completely trust him.

Then there was Mello, Mello would always be a problem for Silver because she was too kind not to care about his feelings, and as much as Mello refused to admit it, he knew that Near didn't exactly want to be harsh to him either. Near had always wanted to befriend Mello because he knew that together they could surpass L, but Mello would never listen.

"I'll see you on the plane tomorrow, Near," Silver said, dragging the last of her boxes to the door.

"I am looking forward to finally leaving Japan," Near said, exiting Silver's room. He was looking forward to tomorrow, even if it meant spending the entire day on a plane.

* * *

"_Tell me a secret, I want it, tell me a story, I need it, I'll listen attentively, I'll stay awake all night," – Suppose, Secondhand Serenade_


	21. Bunnies AN

Well, this author's note is outdated, and I'll delete it in a week :)

But for now, here are some bunnies (without faces, because fanficiton doesn't put the faces in)

...() ()

..(")_(")

(\(\

(,(")(")

(\_/)

(")_(")

Goodbye!

* * *

_"The bunny, the bunny, woah I love the bunny, I don't love my mom or my dad, just the bunny," - Bunny Song, Veggie Tales_


	22. Meeting Again

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Meeting Again"

* * *

"Thirty minutes? That's all you could do?" Matt fired at Roger.

"Yes, it is," Roger replied sternly, "Their flight is only delayed in England for an hour, and they have to be back on the plane a half hour early." Roger said to the two standing in his office.

"B-but, Roger, we haven't seen them in so long…" Sarah said, staring at the floor. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. She hated crying in public, but she couldn't help it. She wished that her birthday was sooner, and felt that it was her fault because it wasn't.

Matt took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. He hated seeing Sarah upset, but truth was that he was close to tears himself. "Why can't we just go with them?" He pleaded one last time.

"You tell me," Roger said back at the young boy, gradually getting annoyed, "You're fifteen. You're of age. Follow them if you want, I know you have the money." Roger's words were bitter but his tone remained neutral, and it was almost as if he was making a helpful suggestion versus pointing out a flaw in Matt's argument.

Matt stared at the floor now too. A couple of moments passed before he could speak again. "I can't," He whispered, when that was the truth. Matt always had the problem of being fiercely loyal, to his friends, family, or even acquaintances. He also knew, regrettably, that he had grown to depend on Sarah, as much as she did him. Where one went, the other followed, and they only ever parted once each day at nearly midnight every night. They enjoyed themselves when they were with each other; Sarah didn't mind the one-sided conversations when Matt was gaming, and Matt didn't mind listening.

Sarah also understood Matt, which was a rare thing for him. He was used to people just 'tolerating' him. Matt and Mello were alike in that way, people never really 'liked' their company - they just tolerated it. Sarah understood that Matt and problems with that… he had been a social icon prior to his enrollment at Wammy's. When he got there, he was 'the smart one' for the first time in his life, because prior to Wammy's he hid his intelligence. He thought that he had finally found a place where he could be himself, but despite being a school known for harboring only the best of intellectual minds, there were still cliques, and Matt didn't fit. Before Mello, he hadn't had a roommate, and if he did they didn't stay for long. His life had been incredibly lonely before Sarah and Mello, and now he was being forced to choose.

_One day, when the two were sitting under the willow tree in Wammy's courtyard, as they did every day, Sarah remarked on how she missed their friends. They had grown notorious for their relationship, loud and silent. They were opposites, and sometimes they were teased for it. Sarah talked about how she missed their friends and how Silver wouldn't have stood for the teasing. When Sarah looked at Matt after she was done speaking about their friends she found that he didn't give her the normal reassuring nod or word that he was listening. He was staring straight ahead, not even down at his screen, and for once in his life his thumbs were still. As she watched his character die a few times, she reached over and carefully paused the game for him. Matt's eyes were filled with anxiety. After Sarah carefully asked him about it, he divulged that he was afraid, angry, and he felt like an outcast. He was angry with himself because he wasn't smart enough. If he had been smarter he may have been able to go with them. He was afraid because of all the 'what if' situations of what could happen to Mello, Silver, or even Near. He felt that it would be his fault - his fault because he wasn't there to save them. He felt like an outcast because ever since they left, that he felt that he was alone with her. They rarely saw Lilly, and everybody else teased them. Sarah intertwined her fingers with his, holding his hand tightly and waited just a moment before telling him that she felt the same way a lot of the times. _

_Before she could say another word Matt asked her how she could deal with it. How she always managed to overcome that feeling that something was closing in on them, that they were all alone when they were surrounded by people. "Baby steps," she told him, laughing. "I've had my emotional breaks, you've seen them. But, it's all about baby steps. And, whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me and that's not going to change."_

Matt smiled, thirty minutes was enough for him, "Don't worry, Sarah," he reassured, "I promise we'll see them soon. We just have to wait a little bit longer, that's all."

* * *

Silver took a deep breath as she stared at her door handle. Once she left she knew that there was no turning back, and she also knew that things would only be harder from here on out. But, despite some stupid decisions, Silver was pretty smart. In the few hours she had before they were designated to leave, Silver hatched a plan. She had no intent of letting Mello and Near go easily. The only trouble was that they knew that too. They were locked in a battle against each other; if one party was six steps ahead then the other was seven. That's how it was with them, and the only way to win was to be the one ahead, and Silver had the disadvantage.

"Two to one," She whispered to herself.

"As much as I like those odds, I think you're wrong. It's two to two," She was shocked to hear that familiar voice. She turned around to see Zellogi.

"Hey," She said smiling, "Thanks, but could you quit sneaking up on me? Not to offend you or Shinigami, but you guys are kind of creepy."

"Nope," He said flashing his grin of rotted shinigami teeth.

Silver turned around and sighed. The room in which she had stayed in for so long was barren and empty. Seeing it like this was depressing, it was blank. Empty. Deserted. Alone. She wasn't sure how a room could be alone, but it felt as she complemented her room, and her room complemented her. Without each other, they both seemed to lack a personality. Any record of her entire life was now shoved into three large suitcases at her feet.

"You don't seem excited finally rid of this place."

"Well Zello-" She stopped as she turned around and saw Near and Mello at her door, gazing at her empty room.

"Huh?" They asked in unison.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else." Silver said shyly, unable to think of an excuse.

"Who else would have come?" Near asked.

"Yeah, are you schizophrenic?" Mello teased giving her a smile.

"Psh, oh yes. His name is Zellogi and he's my boyfriend of three years. We've gotten to third base," She smiled back giving the boys a wink.

Zellogi widened his eyes behind her and made a dirty remark, and once the boys had turned around Zellogi hit him. She quickly threw her luggage onto the cart that the boys had brought and pushed it into the elevator.

"I take it I'm sitting between you two?" Silver asked the two.

"Definitely, I can't last that long around Near, not even for you." He said jokingly, startling Near with his openly shared feelings toward Silver.

Silver shrugged and grabbed Mello with one arm by the waist, pulling him extremely close. "You sure about that?" She challenged, getting her face close to his and laughing.

"Well, now I'm not so sure…" Mello said laughing back. Near stared at the two and wondered that if he were that open with Silver if she would treat him that way too. He envied Mello for that, that they were so comfortable with each other that they were able to openly tease each other like that.

When the three arrived at the Japan Airport, Silver was shocked to see so many Harry Potter advertisements about. "Didn't that movie come out a little while ago?" She asked the boys.

"Yeah, but you know how popular it is." Mello answered.

"It's probable that it will become classic literature to future generations." Near commented.

"You think so?" Silver asked. "I've never seen the movies, or read the books. So I wouldn't know,"

The two stopped walking and looked at her in disbelief.

"Never seen a Harry Potter movie?" Mello asked, shocked.

"Never read the books?" Near asked.

"That's a sin," Mello told her opening one of his suitcases and digging out a book. "Here, your assignment is to read this young lady. I can't believe you've never read or seen a Harry Potter movie or book." He said, looking at her as if she didn't know what oxygen was.

"Well, I'm sorry," She sarcastically before poking Mello in his stomach. "Geez, calm down. It's not like I've been completely isolated, I know about several things."

"Psh, but not know about Harry Potter – well I thought that was impossible until now." He said, poking her stomach back.

"Well, whatever. There's our terminal, let's go." She said grabbing Near by his arm and Mello by his.

After the three finally boarded the plane, and Silver solved the argument about seating arrangements, the three sat down and began to relax.

"Hey! Is that you guys?" Sounded a voice from a few rows over, "Silver, Mello, Near!" It shouted again and the three turned around to see Storm walking their way. Her appearance was extremely different. She had blue streaks now, wore clean black converse, a skirt, and a nice dress shirt. Her hair was even curled and neatly done.

"Hey, Storm," Silver called over to her.

"Funny, we meet again. I sit next to your row too. What a coincidence!" She said cheerfully.

"Coincidence?" Mello scoffed, "Hardly, you're stalking us!"

"Psh, no. I'm being called back to the United States for some unofficial business." She said, smiling.

"The United States? I thought you'd be returning to England." Silver said to her.

"Oh yeah, I had been in England for awhile, working out some relations. Then I was sent to Japan for a bit, and now they're calling me back to the United States." She told the three.

"Okay, now you're stalking us." Mello told her harshly. "You can't be older than sixteen. There's no way you can be 'on business'."

"My line of work isn't age specific. It helps that I'm younger, actually," She said, snapping back at Mello before turning forward and buckling her seatbelt.

After listening to the silence of the plane for a couple hours, Silver passed out. She was awoken hours later by an annoyed Mello.

"Jeeze, you sleep like a rock. Wake up Silver," He said shaking her awake.

"I'm awake," Silver said groggily looking up at him. "You know what I just realized? You need a haircut, Mello. You're looking more girly than normal." She said after a moment, pointing out his ridiculously long hair.

"Yeah, whatever. Just hurry up though; we only have a half hour." He exclaimed lifting her up onto her feet, unfazed by her audacity towards his gender.

Still disgruntled from her sleep, she was grabbed by the forearm and dragged away quickly. Silver had just barely enough time to grab Near's forearm so he wouldn't be lost in the airport.

"Mello, slow down! We might lose Near," She called at him as he dragged her through the crowd.

"That's a silly excuse, I wouldn't care if we lost him," Mello called back at her. Silver sighed and gripped Near's forearm tighter. Mello made a few more sharp turns before stopping at an airport food court.

"Well, you could have just told me you were hungry," Silver said sleepily.

Mello dropped her forearm and ran toward a table in the distance. Silver didn't realize until now that it was Matt and Sarah sitting at the table together. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she ran over to the table, dragging Near with her.

"Sarah!" She exclaimed before hugging her.

"Silver!" Sarah said, hugging her back. "Hey, I got some smoothies…. Let's go over there and talk. Girl-to-girl," She said, but Silver knew Sarah better than that and knew her plan was full of guile.

Silver walked with Sarah over to a table across the food court. "We have to talk," Sarah said quietly.

"Sure, no problem! I haven't seen you in forever!" Silver said smiling.

"It's about your arrangements. I've begged Matt to go with you guys, but he won't. My birthday is in a few months; but Matt, Mello, and Near are already fifteen. You've just recently turned fourteen though…"

"What are you saying Sarah?" Silver said, venom creeping into her voice.

"I'm saying that that's what they're talking about right now. Leaving. That's what they were talking about on video-chat a few weeks ago. Near knew Mello had made contact, but they didn't tell you, and they're not telling you that they're leaving, and soon."

"You mean to catch Kira?" Silver asked slowly, carefully.

"Yeah, they're after Kira, and I don't think at this point there's any stopping them. They've set out to do something dangerous, and they have their hearts set on it."

"Dangerous?" Silver asked, her thoughts were reduced to one word. She didn't have the energy anymore. Why did she have to be so young? She was just a kid to them. Kids didn't matter. They were going to leave, and she knew that they both probably planned on dying, as long as it meant capturing Kira.

Dying. She stole a glance at the three boys, talking together at the table. One by one she imagined each of them disappearing. Gone.

_Forever. _

* * *

"_What would you do, what if I fell to the floor, couldn't take this anymore, what would you do," – The Kill, 30 Seconds to Mars_


	23. It's Time To Say Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"It's Time to Say Goodbye"

* * *

Matt and Sarah watched solemnly through the large window as the plane left the terminal. Things were scarily quiet for a few moments before Matt turned around and reached for Sarah's hand.

"…Sarah?" He asked quietly when she didn't take his hand, and when she didn't reply he paused for a moment longer before wrapping his arms around her waist in an embrace.

Sarah continued to stare at the terminal, hoping there had been a technical error, or they'd forgotten to fuel the plane, or they'd come back for a lost passenger; she hoped for anything to make her friends come back, anything at all.

It was a few moments before she decided to speak, "M-Matt," she sputtered, and it wasn't until now that she noticed how hard she'd been sobbing.

"C'mon," he said gently, pulling her closer, "Let's go home now."

"No," Sarah said, her voice a little stronger now, "No," she said again, reassuring herself that she meant it, "Roger is coming to get me in an hour, but you're not coming back with me," she told him, digging through her light blue purse.

Matt gave her a confused look, "You're just tired, c'mon, let's go home – together." He said, turning them toward the exit.

"No," Sarah said, louder. She sighed and smiled weakly when Matt gave her a heartbroken look, "You're not coming with me," she confirmed, taking his head while holding an envelope in the other.

"W-what do you mean?" Matt stuttered.

"I'm leaving you here," Sarah told him carefully, "This is a one way ticket to the United States," she told him, placing the envelope in his hand.

"N-no! I'm not leaving you, Sarah!" Matt stammered, pulling away and dropping the ticket, giving her a disbelieving look.

"Don't you _dare _think this is _easy _for me, Matt! Don't you get it? I'm _dying _wishing you away like this, but I can't just keep you here…" Sarah said quietly.

"That's what you think?" Matt said, picking up the ticket and taking Sarah's hand again, "That you're _keeping _me here?"

"Well yeah," Sarah said, fresh tears falling from her eyes. "I know you want, no _need, _to help them catch Kira… I've seen how depressed you've been acting,"

"Sarah… I _need _you. I, I-I…" Matt stammered.

"You _what?" _Sarah pressed; she knew it was wrong to push him like this; but she had been waiting for him to say _it _for a long time now. They'd engaged themselves in what seemed like a battle, trying to get the other to say it first… they both felt it, but were too shy to admit it to each other.

"I, uh, never mind. You can't expect me to leave like this, Sarah. Sure, you know I'd love to be able to go with them, but I can't stand the thought of leaving you," Matt breathed, wiping the tears from Sarah's cheeks.

"And me you, but we'll just have to survive," She said, holding the ticket tightly in his hand. "I'll never forgive you if you don't board that plane in twenty minutes," She said softly.

"Twenty minutes?" Matt stammered, "T-that's not enough time. And how can you ever expect me to forgive myself for leaving you like this?" Matt asked, trembling.

"You'll figure it out," Sarah said with a weak smile, "I promise… just please, get on that plane. If you won't do it for you, do it for me."

"B-but, what if I get…" Matt stopped, if this was the last time he ever saw Sarah…

"God damn it! You're not going to die, Matt! You're just _not! _You're going to come back here, promise me." Sarah wept, more and more tears falling from her eyes.

He cupped her cheeks in his hands, making sure he etched every beautiful detail into his memory. He knew it was a possibility that this might be the last time he ever saw her, even if he didn't want to admit it, even to himself. "I'll do what I can, I promise." He finally replied.

"I swear to God Matt, if you don't come back to me ali-" Sarah was cut off mid-sentence as Matt leaned down and gently kissed her lips.

Sarah sat awestruck for a moment; the kiss was different from any other kiss she'd ever had. Sure, she'd kissed Matt before, but this kiss was different. This kiss was the kind of kiss you only got when kissing had just been invented. It was fresh and new; the kind of kiss that existed back in the days with knights and princesses, and even though he was going away for a long time she knew that she'd wait an eternity just to see him again; just for a chance to feel those lips again, even if it was just one more time.

And then Sarah cracked, but it didn't feel like cracking; it felt like telling to truth for the first time. It felt amazing and true, and washed over her with a wave of gentle purity, "I love you, Matt," she breathed gently.

"I love you, too," He said, smiling, "Just promise me that when you remember me you'll only smile, don't cry when you think of me, you're too beautiful for that," He said, kissing her forehead, "I promise I'll be back," He whispered, pulling her into a tight hug as she sobbed into his shirt. Then, Matt pulled away and quickly walked off, leaving her sobbing alone in an airport.

"I promise," she whispered, even though she knew he couldn't hear her.

He knew he could have stayed longer and still made his flight, but he promised himself that her last sight of him wouldn't be of the thick tears that were falling out of his eyes.

_I've got to be strong for her, _he told himself, boarding his plane.

* * *

Silver was sitting in-between Mello and Near on the plane, and as much as she was tired and felt like passing out, she couldn't keep her mind off of what Sarah had been saying.

"_There's no point in stopping them."_

"_They've set out to do something dangerous, and they have their hearts set on it."_

"_They're leaving… and soon."_

_No, she has to be wrong. She just has to be; _Silver thought to herself, _it just can't be_.

Silver glanced at Mello who was sitting to her left. He was watching a movie on his laptop, some shooter movie she didn't recognize. She turned her head and looked at Near, who was sitting placidly to her right, doing a puzzle on his tray. She wanted to hold both of them, and tell them to never leave her; but she knew that she couldn't ask them that, somewhere deep down, she knew. She knew that regardless of what she did, or how she did it, they were going to leave. The knowledge of what they were going to do weighed down on her mind like a cinderblock, the knowledge that they just might die doing what they were trying to do.

_I have to say goodbye, _she thought to herself, giving up, _and soon._

The thought suddenly hit her like a train, and she couldn't breathe for a few moments as she felt a few tears dancing on the edge of her eyelid. She begged them to stay there, she knew she couldn't let them know that she knew, but a single tear escaped down her cheek.

Mello and Near both stole a glance at her, and she knew that they knew. She was pretty sure that they'd known for awhile now, but she didn't dare look at either of them. Instead she grabbed both of their hands and squeezed. That was her version of goodbye; just in case she never got the chance to give a proper one.

She stared forward, not having the courage to look at either of them, and she wondered how Sarah was going to say goodbye to Matt. She had told Silver of her plans shortly before they boarded the plane, and she started crying in the middle of them. The boys were far enough away to mistake it for Sarah's grief about leaving Silver, but Silver understood. She knew that they all had to say their goodbyes sometime or another, but Sarah was stronger than her. Sarah could let go of the one person she loved, while Silver was concerned for herself.

When the plane finally darkened and Mellow as asleep, Silver turned towards Near, "Can… Can I change your mind?" She whispered, knowing how hopeless it was just to ask, but she had to, if she didn't she would never forgive herself.

Near looked at her, and his eyes just killed her. She knew the answer before he even opened his mouth. "Silver, you saw what Kira did to your… relative… I have to catch him… every one of Kira's victims is _someone's _family member… and seeing you so hurt…"

"Never mind Near, I knew the answer before I even opened my mouth… I just had to ask."

Near had begun to turn away from her when Silver suddenly reached out to grab his arm, she wasn't she why she did. He looked up at her, his gaze questioning.

"She t-told me, I mean, I knew… how could I not?" Silver said, looking down, "B-but this time… I'd been working on a plan to stop you from… leaving… but then Sarah told me something right before we left… and now I don't know anymore… I mean, I'll miss you guys like hell," she stopped, pausing to catch her breath. She didn't know why she was out of breath, but she knew that it was taking an incredible amount of effort to muster up the courage to say goodbye, it was standing up to all of her fears.

It meant admitting the fear that she'd always feared most, it meant admitting that yes, the people she loved were going to leave her.

"Silver," Near said quickly, "We don't want to leave you, if he hadn't made an oath to L we probably wouldn't," Near tried, his tone slightly reassuring.

"No, you still would," Silver replied, "You're right," she admitted, "You need to do this, and one day, I promise, I'll find you. Don't think that I'd let you leave, because I'm not. I'm coming after you and Mello, don't doubt that for a minute," She finished, knowing that even if her words were strong her tone didn't convey it.

"I wouldn't doubt it for a second," Near told her, holding a weak smile on his lips. Silver sighed and sat quietly on the plane for the next hour, trying to eradicate her thoughts. She continued to stare forward, desperately trying her hardest _not to think, _when she overheard the flight attendant tell the passengers that the plane would be arriving in twenty minutes.

_United States, here I come…_

* * *

"_Maybe I'm to blame, or maybe we're the same, but either way I can't breathe, either way I can't breathe, all I had to say is goodbye," – Goodbye, Secondhand Serenade_


	24. Stalker

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Stalker"

* * *

The plane ride from England to the United States was a long one for Matt. Although it was late, he couldn't sleep. All he could do throughout the plane ride was stare at his only possession he had on him – his picture of Sarah.

Pictures were forbidden at Wammy's. It was just the fact of the place, no pictures, no names, and no official documents. Basically, once you went to Wammy's the person that you were was dead, no real personal record of anything really. But, he would never have let them take that picture. Most kids had them anyway, Roger was the only one who was strict on the rule, and it was taboo to rat someone out, no matter how much you hated them. It was just the rule, maybe really the only rule, among the Wammy's kids.

He remembered the day that the picture was taken, they'd cut class together and snuck about in the courtyard. She'd been wearing her blue summer dress, the one that was decorated in pretty yellow flowers…he loved that summer dress. No, more correctly he just plainly loved Sarah, everything she touched, everything she wore – he loved everything about her.

In the picture she was in the front, off to the side, her arm outstretched taking the picture. He was behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, his head resting on her right shoulder. He smiled when he saw the picture, behind them was Roger, fuming as he was marching toward them and they were completely oblivious. They were smiling as if the day were the best of their lives, even though just moments after the picture had been taken they ran around the courtyard for an hour trying to hide from Roger – and ended up failing miserably. An hour later they sat in detention, red-faced and winded, but still smiling.

Matt wished, more than anything, that he could go back to the day. Just see her genuine smile, just once more, or play with Lilly once more, or even watch Sarah try unsuccessfully to braid Lilly's mess of hair. He smiled when he remembered his time with them, and frowned when he realized that it was very probable that he'd never see either of them again.

Matt got off the plane quickly, trying to avoid the luggage mess. He didn't have any, so he got off pretty fast. He just couldn't stand being in that small place anymore… he needed open air. He was starting to hate people… they were so happy.

He sat down on the nearest airport bench… what was he going to do? He had about five bucks, a half-dead cell phone, and… he had the box.

He pulled the box out of his pocket, it was small, and fat in his hand perfectly. He stared at the crisp red box of Marlboro cigarettes. Sarah would be so mad if she found out… she always hated him smoking. But, it almost felt as though some unknown force was guiding his hand toward the top of the box. Maybe if he just had one… maybe it'd make him happier, less stressed.

A small, pale white hand came over the box of cigarettes; he looked up to see Silver. "Sarah would be angry," She said quietly, "And plus, there's no smoking in airports." She said as she took the cigarettes out of his hand and tossed them in the trash can next to him.

"Hey," he exclaimed as she tossed them, "Those cost me like ten bucks! I had to pay somebody to get them for me, and cigarettes are expensive!"

"You'll get over it," She said, taking his arm and leading him away from the gate.

He sighed, "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"Sarah told me to wait for you, back in England. The boys don't know yet, told 'em I was going to the bathroom," She said, pausing to think, "Let's see, that was about a half-hour ago."

"That might raise just a couple questions," Matt said, looking out of the airport windows.

"Hey, Matt," Silver said, looking away.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry about Sarah… I should have told you," Silver said, still not looking at Matt. Matt stopped walking and turned Silver to face him.

"Don't worry about it, Silver. It wasn't yours to tell… and, yeah, I miss her like hell… already… but I promised her that I'd see her again… I promised." He finished, trying to convince himself that he was going to see her again.

Silver reached up and put a hand on Matt's shoulder. "You'll see her again, Matt. Even though Mello is a jackass a lot of the times, I can tell he cares about you. And I know he'll do everything in his power to make sure you see each other again."

"I hope so…" Matt said, as Silver grabbed his arm again and pulled them off in the direction of the food court.

"SILVER!" Mello screamed across the airport, "YOU'VE BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR A HALF-AN-HOUR! YOU HAD US WORRIED SI – MATT!" Mello shouted.

"Way to announce it to everybody." Grunted Silver as Mello ran over and hugged Matt.

"What're you doin' here?" Mello asked Matt. Matt just looked down and Silver spoke up for him.

"He's come… to help you catch Kira." Silver whispered.

"Y-you left her?" Mello asked, disbelieved. "I thought that you would never? I mean… you told me… that you'd be coming once she turned fifteen."

"S-she wouldn't let me," Matt stuttered. "She made me come."

Mello didn't say anything. He understood what Matt felt, and guided the two back to their table where Near was sitting, alone.

"Matt's coming with us," Silver informed Near.

"Surely," Near acquiesced, not paying much attention

"Hey, Mello, so where do we have to be and when?" Silver asked.

"Well, our escort is supposed to be here in twenty minutes, and we told them we'd be here. Matt and I are going to go off and talk for a bit, we'll be back in ten." Mello said, walking away.

"Well, love, I guess it's just me and you." Silver said, doing a bad British accent.

"What is it like to be back home?" Near asked, "I mean… what does it feel like to have a home to return to?"

"Well, I guess you could call the United States my home," Silver said, trying to remember her childhood, "I grew up with my parents here. I didn't move to England until my mom married my stepfather, he told her I'd have a better childhood in England."

"I apologize for mentioning your perished parents, but I've never really had a home… I was curious as to what it felt like." Near said quietly.

"Well, it's actually kind of nice," Silver answered, "You've never had a home? A place where you feel safe and loved? What about Wammy's?"

Near gave her a dubious look, "No, it was just a place of residence. I'm not sure of those feelings you're speaking of."

Silver smiled, "You mean you've never felt safe and loved?"

"I don't suppose so," Near replied, "I mean, I am familiar with those emotions, I just never…"

"Felt them?" Silver asked, sitting down across from him.

"I suppose you could put it that way." Near stopped, pausing to think. "I presume that I felt that way when I was a young child when L read us stories. But, I was not thinking about the place where I was residing, only the people who resided there with me," Near reflected.

"Well, duh," Silver exclaimed, "It's not the _place _that matters. Home is about the people, Near, not about the place."

"Although I enjoy your connotation, Silver, I believe the definition of home is the place where a person, family, or household lives," Near corrected.

"You're so textbook, Near. Do you remember what I told you way back when?" Silver asked.

"That you are afraid of spiders?" Near inquired.

"No, jeez, I told you that? I don't even remember that," Silver paused, trying to think. "No, remember, a long time ago, I told you some things are better learned through experience than through the dictionary?"

"I do have some recollection of that, it was when Rai -" Near started.

"Do not bring up that brat." Silver seethed.

Near almost smiled at Silver, "I was not infatuated with her," Near reassured. Although he wouldn't care to admit it, he liked Silver getting slightly angry about Rain. It made him realize that even though she didn't always show it, she still cared for him.

"I know…" Silver trailed off, slightly embarrassed. "It's just, she makes me so mad!"

"I haven't even spoken with her in quite a long time. I do not believe you've had contact with her either." Near said.

"Well, no…" Silver said, shifting uncomfortably. "But she was such a brat. The things she used to say… she acted like she _owned _you. That you were hers, and only hers."

"Envious of her?" Near asked, with a light smile playing on the corners of his mouth.

"Psh, no!" Silver exclaimed, playfully hitting Near on the shoulder. "Like you could talk, you were such a womanizer."

"A…. 'womanizer'?" Near asked.

"You know? A whorehound, a Casanova, a lothario, a libertine?" Near was wide-eyed when she finished her list.

"I am not a philanderer! I have not had sexual relations with anybody," Near stuttered, "I am unaware where you got that misconception."

Silver laughed at Near, "What about Mayani and Rain?"

"They… they were infatuated with _me,_" Near stumbled.

Silver laughed even harder, "I'm just teasing you, Near-y. Don't get your panties in such a knot."

"I am not wearing female undergarments."

"I know that, Near. It's a saying, you know? When you're acting girly."

"I am aware of the saying," Near said with a half-smile, "I was just teasing _you._"

At that, Silver laughed even harder. "That's so cute! I have never seen you try to have a sense of humor."

"Why do you express amusement at the things I say?" Near asked, cocking his head slightly to the side.

"Well, Near, you just say the darnedest things." Silver said, chuckling.

Near couldn't think of how to reply, but was saved when Mello and Matt walked over. "Our escort should be here any minute," Mello said, glancing at his phone.

"Is that him?" Silver asked, pointing a large man in a tuxedo walking towards them.

"I hope so," Mello said, "I'm sick of waiting." Matt shook his head, and followed Mello towards the man. Silver picked up her things, and Near his, and followed the two boys.

"Are you the Wammy's rats?" The man asked harshly.

"Yeah, what of it?" Mello fired back.

"I was assigned three little pests, not four." The man grunted.

"Well, we had an unexpected arrival, so you can suck it up and deal with it." Mello said angrily, balling his hands into fists.

"Uh, Mello, not to make you angrier than you already are… but he's like three times your size." Silver noted quietly.

"Whatever, I can take this jerk." Mello promised, punching the man in his stomach.

The man was completely unfazed, while Mello keeled over covering his hand like he broke it, "Damn you!" he shouted at the man, getting ready to throw another punch.

With that, the man picked up Mello and threw him over his shoulder. "This is why I hate kids," He muttered, "C'mon, vermin. She hates to be kept waiting,"

"I. AM NOT. A KID!" Mello shouted at the top of his lungs, throwing useless punches at the man's back.

"You sure look like it right now," Silver giggled, following the man.

The man led them out of the airport and into the chilly night air. Outside of the airport was a sleek black limo that was waiting idly. The man stopped walking as his phone rang.

"Hullo?" He answered.

There were a lot of loud noises coming from the other side of the phone, "Some chick is pissed at you." Mello said, giggling.

"Yes, Ma'am. Right away, Ma'am," The man said into the phone before throwing Mello off his shoulder.

"In that limo, now you little rats. She hates to be kept waiting." The man barked, and the four quickly got into the limo.

They all seated themselves and got buckled, when they turned their heads they were all shocked.

"So, I was right, you three are my assignment," The girl greeted, "And you must be Matt, Roger told me about your arrival. Sorry about that big brute, he's an insolent thug." The girl said kindly.

"You ARE stalking us!" Mello shouted. Matt, Near, and Silver cringed, hoping that the girl wouldn't judge them based off of his behavior.

* * *

"_It's the feeling you get when you think that someone behind is watching you, well I can tell you now that someone is me and I'm about to make it right," – Hit the Floor, Bullet For My Valentine _


	25. I Hate You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"I Hate You"

* * *

"Don't mind him," Silver said quickly, shaking her head at Mello, "But, hello, Storm."

Storm smiled kindly, "Well, he's kind of right, I have been stalking you guys," she reflected.

"That's not exactly something to put us at ease," Matt remarked quietly.

Storm smiled again, "Don't worry about it, and sorry I didn't get to see you guys much in Japan, I had some official business."

Matt looked confused, "Wait," he interjected, "Official business? You can't be older than sixteen,"

Storm's smile didn't falter, "Thanks, I think… but I work for the government, and yes, I'm sixteen… or I will be in a few weeks."

Mello finally spoke up, "Wait a minute," he said nastily, "So you're not even sixteen, dumb as a doornail, and yet you managed to land a government job?"

Storm thought about it for a moment, but then reached over and slapped Mello across the face, the sound ringing through the limousine. "That is no way to talk to a lady," Storm growled, a small red handprint stretching across Mello's face.

It wasn't long until Mello replied, "Well, you're acting so barbaric that it's not really easy to tell if you're a lady or not!" Silver closed her eyes as Storm reached over and slapped Mello on the other side of his face.

"Mello," Matt warned, "Just shut up. This isn't a fight you can win."

"Thank you, Matt," Storm said, dusting herself off. "Anyways, so, I'm part of the Witness Protection Program, and, well you guys know that you're into some pretty big… doo-doo, right?"

"Doo-doo?" The four asked in unison, Mello, Matt, and Silver giggling.

"I'm not allowed to swear on the job," Storm said, looking forlorn. "Anyways, so Kira is an international murderer and threat, and even managed to take down L," The three stopped giggling, remembering L. "So, since we can presume that Kira knows about you Wammy's kids, the idea they have is to merge you guys with society." Storm stopped, looking the four over, "Dunno how they see that's possible, but it's my job to do it."

Silver looked over the three of them too. "How exactly _do _you plan on that? I mean, I don't think Near or Mello have ever even worn jeans, we have peculiar names and habits, and… well, Mello has girl hair, my hair is silver, and Near has white hair."

Storm seemed to consider this for a moment, "Well, I guess we'll have to change that." Mello and Silver gulped.

"Oh! And Near's an albino!" Mello said hastily, wondering if she'd make him fry in the sun. Silver, who picked up on this, elbowed Mello in the ribs.

"Guess we'll have to change that too then." Storm said, deep in thought.

The car sat in silence for a few minutes when Storm suddenly rapped on the window behind her.

"Yes?" The driver asked.

"Take us to Totally Tan," She called. The driver nodded and closed the window.

"Totally Tan?" Near asked, speaking up. Mello gave a harsh laugh.

"Look, I don't want you kids noticed, at all. Make my job easy, okay? If you so much as _breathe_ and somebody notices, I _will kill you._" Storm threatened the four, "I want you guys to get straight B's," She said continuing, "That's around 85%, but don't be afraid to get the occasional 80%. Also, ask the occasional question, but not a lot, understood?" Near, Mello, and Silver nodded.

"Threatening to kill us, encouraging us _not _to achieve and use our greatest potential," Matt commented, smirking, "You sound like a great role-model to me."

Storm laughed, "I guess. Now, onto names, Matt, you're fine. Near, Mello, and Silver, I've picked a few names out for you guys that shouldn't be too hard to get used to. Near, you'll become "Nick", Silver, you'll become "Sylvia", and Mello, you'll be "Micah"." Near and Silver nodded.

"What?" Mello exclaimed, "Micah? Everyone else got normal names!"

"And everyone else is _normal_." Storm said venomously.

"Told you, you can't win this one," Matt whispered to Mello.

"Hair," Storm said, looking at Silver, Mello and Near, "I guess I can give you two boys the regular guy haircut, and Silver you can get a medium length haircut with bangs… I'm just wondering about hair color for you two," She said pointing to Near and Silver.

"Near, you can go black… and Silver how do you feel about a strawberry blonde?" Storm asked cheerfully, holding a lock of Silver's silver hair between her fingers.

"Sounds good," Silver said unhappily. She loved her hair… sure, it sometimes made her look old, but it was uniquely _her _trait.

* * *

After what seemed like years passed, the kids finally left the mall and headed to where they were staying. Sitting quietly on the couch in the living room, the kids stared at their new appearances in a mirror – astonished.

Matt's appearance hadn't changed much, so he sat relaxed, playing a new videogame. Storm had insisted he get rid of the goggles, depressing Matt, but cheered him up by buying him a new-release videogame.

Mello kept touching his newly cut hair, and shifted uncomfortably in his unusually loose clothes.

Silver couldn't stop staring at her new hair; it was a pretty pinkish-blonde that matched her new dress and leggings perfectly. She thought that she looked cute, but she couldn't help missing her hair. After a few moments she turned to look at Near.

Near was, possibly for the first time in his life, dumbstruck. He stared at the mirror, trying to find himself in his new appearance. He was shifting uncomfortably in his skinny jeans and loose t-shirt. His hair was a deep black, cut into a sort of skater haircut. But the one thing Near couldn't _stop _staring at was his skin.

Being an albino, Near's skin couldn't handle many UV rays, but, he still stuck out like a sore thumb. In order to change this, Storm had brought Near to a tanning salon. Stupefied by his own fear, Near had crawled into a spray-tan booth and gotten an artificial tan.

Although it had turned out nicely, being a shade over pale and looking natural, Near had never seen himself look stranger.

"At least you're not orange," Silver said, putting a hand on Near's shoulder, smiling gently.

Near almost smiled, but instead turned to adjust his jeans, "How do people subsist in these infernal garments?" He complained.

Silver laughed, "At least you can _breathe_. Girl's jeans are so tight that you have to lie down on the floor, suck in, and use pliers to just _get the button to close._"

"I don't see how some people think jeans are comfortable," Mello complained next to them, "Leather is so much nicer."

"…and so much more girly," Matt said under his breath.

"What did you just say Matt?" Mello asked warningly.

"Uh… nothing. Nothing at all," He replied cautiously.

"That's what I thought," Mello said turning away, "Anyways, d'you reckon we should go… play some _videogames_?" Mello asked slyly.

"I already – oh… yeah. Sounds good," Matt replied, getting up and following Mello.

"That was strange," Silver said to Near, who was still looking at himself. "Oh, it's not that bad, c'mon, I think Sarah'll be calling soon." Silver said, getting up and dragging Near along. After a half-an-hour of sitting on Silver's bed, waiting, Sarah called. The bluish white light on Silver's phone lit up, and Silver snatched it before Near could say anything.

"Hello?" Silver said, and there was a lot of loud noises coming from the other side. Near watched Silver curiously.

"I know! I'm so excited!" Silver said back into the receiver, "You think she's going to… Oh! I'd love to see that!"

Silver listened intently through the phone. "You're going to have to videotape it. It'll be hilarious – and don't feel bad about it, she totally deserves it." Silver paused, noticing Near, "Sorry Near," She said bashfully, "Got a little sidetracked in gossip…" Near nodded, pulling his knee to his chest.

"Yeah, they're just in the other room, I'll go fetch them," Silver said, dragging Near along with her towards where Mello and Matt were staying.

"Shh!" Silver whispered to the silent Near, "I'mma scare 'em!"

Near almost smiled as he watched Silver, desperately trying to be quiet, trip down the hallway - making an unholy racket.

"I think you may be making a bit of a… commotion, Silv-" Near started before being cut-off by Silver, who angrily turned around and quieted him with a finger pressed to her lips. Near smiled behind her back.

When Silver reached the door, she slowly peeked through one of the cracks. The room was faintly lit. "I can't hear them," Silver whispered, "I need to just get a little bit closer…" She said, putting more of her wait on the door, slowly pushing it inward.

"I can't quite hear them," Silver breathed, "Just a little bit mo-" Silver started, but accidentally put too much of her weight on the door and fell into the room. The phone went flying out of her palm, across the room, and she landed heavily on the floor.

"I just can't see a way out of this without killing someone-" Mello had said before noticing Silver, "Shit!" He finished, realizing she had entered the room.

Matt, however, was too busy looking at the phone that had landed a few feet away from Mello and himself, "Is that…?" He asked, looking at the screen, horrified as he saw Sarah's number on the caller I.D.

Silver was numb, staring at Mello, a look of shock slowly creeping onto her crestfallen face. Near was trying to help her up, and for a moment everyone in the room was still and quiet, except for the sounds of Sarah's weeping from the other side of the phone.

Matt was the first to move, standing up and scrambling to get the phone from the ground. Once the phone was next to the ear, he walked out of the room, talking quickly into the receiver.

"Silver-" Mello started but was cut-off.

"I-I can't believe you!" Silver shouted, having trouble speaking. "I-I… I… I-I trusted you!" She exclaimed, "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you! How could I have been so foolish? You're… You're… Y-you're just a bully! A coward who hides behind his fists, that's what you are! I should've known it from the first day I met you at Wammy's, picking on Near like he was trash! Well, I'll tell you what," She paused, taking a breath, "You'll never be half the man he is! And I never want to speak to you again!" She finished, leaving the room, tears spouting from her eyes.

Near stood still for a few moments, unsure of how to react, but when Mello gave him a dangerous look he exited quickly, following Silver.

"She's right," He said quietly once Near had left, "I'll never be half the man you are."

* * *

"_Everything you said, it will all catch up eventually, well, it caught up and honestly, the weight of my decisions were impossible to hold," – This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know), Taking Back Sunday_


	26. Efflorescence

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"Efflorescence"

* * *

Things stilled and were quiet for a few single moments in Silver's room. At a bystander's glance, it would look as though it had been ransacked. CD's were strewn across the floor, cracked and broken, along with anything else that was breakable. Like the weather after a storm, Silver lay on her bed, scarily still and unmoving.

Only a few small moments passed before a single small _crunch _sounded from across the room. Silver turned her head slowly and glanced at the blonde boy who was cautiously entering her room. When he saw her look up her stopped in his tracks. "Come in," she commanded him quietly.

"What the hell happened in here?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light and casual.

"I was mad," she replied simply.

"What the – that doesn't mean you should destroy your room!" He yelled, looking around, "Have you lost it?"

"Only temporarily," she said, a creepy smile slowly etching into her face.

Mello sighed and sat down on the bed beside her, "I don't think temporary is quite over yet," he said softly, pulling her into his arms. Silence fell on the room again like a thick blanket, and it wasn't until several minutes later that Silver managed to open her mouth again.

"Don't go," she pleaded halfheartedly.

"I'm sorry,"

"But… but…"

"But what, Silver?"

"But… you just need to stay."

"Why?"

"Because I said so," She finished, pulling out of his arms to face him.

"We're going to be all right," He started but stopped when he noticed the tears welling up in her eyes.

"No! Nothing is going to be all right. Everything is broken, our crew, my room, and next thing you know I'm going to be the crazy lady on Channel 5 with a bagazillion cats in my house." She blubbered senselessly.

Mello stared at her, scared out of his mind. "Our crew? Cats?" He tried to understand.

"Yes!" She exclaimed, "It's all broken." She cried louder staring at her room.

"I'm sure it can be fixed," Mello said, putting a hand on hers.

"I'll go insane," She said, grabbing fistfuls of her hair, "You, you just can't leave."

Once again, Mello calmly pulled her close to him and they both remained silent for a long time. After an eternity of silence, Mello spoke up.

"I have to leave," he tried unconvincingly.

"Nobody _has _to do anything," She begged,

"You have no idea how much I have to do this," Mello said quietly.

"I know you loved L-"

"Yeah, L was important to me," He interrupted calmly, "But, he's not the reason why Kira has to be stopped, Silver."

"Then why? I don't get you, Mello. You're putting yourself at risk,"

"Because, Silver. He has to be stopped. I have to protect," Mello stopped, looking away from Silver shyly. "I… I have to protect the one that I love. Okay?" Neat droplets of rain had begun to fall outside, landing silently on the window. The sky was slowly succumbing to a shade of gray, the storm slowly, as if it were a master painter, was painting the sky with clouds made of ash.

Silver just stared up at Mello. Her eyes taking in for the first time Mello's appearance. His fearless blue eyes, his warm hands…

"If not L… then who?" She asked softly.

"…you." He said turning to face her again.

"B-but… why?"

"Because, Silver. I'm… I'm… I just _need_ you." He said looking away again, a light blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"Then why, Mello, why are you _leaving?_" She asked harshly.

"It's not like that, Silver… it's more like… I don't _trust_ myself around you. I'm… I'm not a good person like Near."

"Mello…" Silver whispered, still looking at his face. He slowly turned his head to look at her, his eyes holding an expression that she just couldn't place. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm sorry about before,"

Mello reached his hand and placed it on her cheek. He brushed away a single tear, and continued to brush her hair over her ear. Time seemed to slow for the two as Mello's face slowly began to inch toward hers. For some reason, she didn't reject it. Instead, she embraced the feeling she held and inched closer to him, similar to the way she had with Near a long time ago.

Mello's kiss was a lot different from Near's. It was warmer, more passionate. It was as if somehow he had planted a seed in her heart, and with the kiss it had begun to grow and blossom into something completely new and beautiful. For the few moments that the kiss lasted, everything had been painted a new color for her. Things were brighter, happier. In those few moments, it was as if everything was solved. Every stupid little problem, every little hiccup, everything was _right._ But as he pulled away she knew that something had _really_ changed, and she didn't know if it would ever be reversed.

Slowly, a small smile crept upon her face as she continued to gaze at Mello's face.

"What?" He asked her, somewhat alarmed.

"N-nothing," She said timidly, "It… it's just nice to know you care… because," She stopped for a moment looking up at him.

"I… I do care Silver," He said, lying down. She lay down beside him, and nuzzled her way into the crook of his arm.

"I always have, and I always will." He said quietly, shutting his eyes and laying still.

Outside the rain began to fall harder, and Silver lay still for a long time, mesmerized by the tapping of the rain on the window sill, she began to grow tired and exhausted. She was sure Mello had fallen asleep and thought for a minute.

"It's nice to know you care… because I need you too." She said quietly, drifting off – comforted by the warmth of Mello at her side.

Mello opened his eyes suddenly and flinched. _She needed him,_ and that's not what he had ever wanted. And in those moments he made his decision, one that he wasn't sure if he would ever believe in wholeheartedly.

He slowly unwound himself from her grasp, making sure not to wake her up. He slowly crept to the desk in the corner of room and scrawled a message on a slip of paper. Not making a sound, he shut off the light in the room and left. Matt, who had been sitting on the couch, waiting, stood up and followed after, and together they left without another word.

The light playful drops of rain quickly vanished. The faint gray clouds quickly morphed into a harsh ebon cloak that engulfed the sky. The sky hissed and howled with flashes of cruel lighting and gusts of wind. The droplets of water splashed onto the window, leaving streaks of water as they fell. Somewhere far off, a low rumble was heard followed by the deafening boom of thunder.

The pounding of thunder twisted evil memories into her mind and Silver clutched the blankets behind her. She felt around for Mello, who had been at her side and found that she was alone. She sat up in bed, terrified, and felt the room by her side again. She quickly got up and began to search frantically around her room, hoping that he had turned invisible or was hiding in a vase somehow. Just as she had given up searching, she buried her face in her hands and noticed a small folded piece of paper on the overturned writing desk that sat in the corner.

For a long time she just sat and stared at the note as if it was a threat. Each clap of thunder and hiss of lightning illuminated her suddenly ominous room, and for a long time she rationed her breaths, because for some reason she felt that she didn't have many left.

Finally, after an eternity, she slowly swung her legs off the side of the bed, her heart skipping like a rabbit. She put the weight on her feet and stood up, she felt sick, but for some reason she felt determined to read the note.

Step after step, she walked across the room. And when she reached the note a feeling overcame her that she had just willingly walked to her own execution. She slowly lifted the note, but did not unfold it. Again for a long time she stared at it, unsure of its contents. She started to fill her mind with excuses, each more unlikely than the last.

_Maybe he had to go to the store, _she told herself, realizing that they had just been to the store earlier, _or maybe he had to go get some chocolate, or maybe he got kidnapped, _she shook her head, trying to drown out the infinite number of excuses that were filling her mind, and unfolded the note.

The note was only two lines long, but she read over them over and over, hoping to have misread. Tears began to well up in her eyes, and like a broken dam great drops flowed from her eyes like an untamed river. Her knees disobeyed her and gave in, and she crumpled like an improperly built structure falling to the ground brick by brick. Her body convulsed with violent sobs that erupted from her mouth and echoed throughout the room. When she finally gave in and fell to the floor, she curled herself up, trying to hold the note as close to her as possible, it was the last thing she had from him. After hours of trembling alone, she finally looked at the note once more.

_I'm sorry,_ He had written, with a boyishly drawn heart next to it. At the very bottom of the page was the single terrifying line, _But I just can't have you need me like I need you because I know that you deserve better._

Silver stood up on wobbly legs and stared out the window. The sky was beginning to return to the beautiful peach color that it always held at dawn, and the sun shone through a few silvery clouds.

"I promise you Mello," she said, staring up at the sky, "That I will find you."

_Because I wasn't lying, _she thought to herself numbly, _I really do need you._

* * *

"_I can't eat, and I can't breathe, I wouldn't want it any other way. Intentions that were pure have turned obscure, seconds into hours, minutes into years," – Angels Cry, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_


	27. Not Goin' Down Without A Fight

**GOOD MORNING BEAUTIES!**

**Silver: Hi, good morning. –sits up in bed-**

**Sidoh: Good morning. –sits up in bed next to Silver-**

**Silver: O.O**

**Me: Now isn't THAT a weird pairing ;) (Why thank you for the idea burryandbunny)**

**Silver: uh, uh, uh –four years of counseling needed-**

**Me: ;) so, I've decided, my pretties who actually read my rambles, to debut my story inside this story. Because I love you guys a baja-million times more than everybody else. Well, only if you want it. My next story is a MattxOC story, yes; I have recently fallen in love with him. So, leave a review if you would like the preview thing you see on the base story page to be released in this story. :) If not, I'll assume one or both of two things: A. Nobody likes Matt.**

**B. Nobody reads my rambles.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Matt: Nobody reads your rambles.**

**Mello: I WASN'T IN THIS AT ALL.**

**Matt: I was :)**

**Me: That's because everybody hates you Mello. Heres a suitcase, you can spend the rest of your life at deepoblivion99's house. Goodbye.**

**Mello: Whysobitter?**

**Me: I LOOKED AT YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT! –cries-**

**Mello: What?**

**Silver: Four updates ago. Here, I'll copy and paste.**

**KeehlTheChocolateMan**

**I hate working for that stupid wench. She needs a life. She's fat and ugly. GAH! I need more chocolate.**

**Matt: First of all, she's not a wench. That's a servant. She's our SUPREME RULER. Secondly, that's only like one-hundred and one characters. You have failed us, Mello.**

**Near: I'd prefer it if you would quit lollygagging.**

**Me: SHUT IT NEAR, you've turned into an ass.**

**Near: :(**

**SILVER: EVERYONE SHUT UP. Disclaimer: SHE DOESN'T OWN DEATH NOTE. YOU'D FIGURE AFTEER 27 CHAPTERS WE'D HAVE TO QUIT SAYING THAT. P.S. The dialogue belongs to whatever gosh-darnded company created the anime. Well,s ome of the dialogue.**

**P.P.S And Eat Pray love belongs to whoever the heck wrote that too.**

**Lawyer: I don't think so.**

**Sidoh: -giggle- You ever notice that the word 'Lawyer' has the word LAW in it? HAHAHAH.**

**Cast: -facepalm-**

**On with the story!**

Mello exhaled slowly. Four years. _Four years. _Well, four years and six and a half months to be exact. Shouldn't she have disappeared by now? He wasn't _supposed _to remember her - that was the point. She was supposed to be forgotten, that was the deal he had made with himself four years ago. But, today was different.

Today was her birthday. Her nineteenth birthday. He tried to imagine what she'd be doing today, if she'd think about him, but quickly shook himself out of it.

_She's not important to me,_ He tried to coax himself, _yes she is,_ a smaller, quieter voice said from the back of his mind. He slammed his chocolate on the table, frustrated. He felt stupid, but he wanted to yell at that stupid voice that it wasn't the boss of him. It didn't know anything.

Matt looked at Mello carefully. It would be stupid of him to ask what was wrong – he already knew. "Mels," He said quietly, looking at him. "You could always –"

"No I couldn't," Mello yelled at him. "You know why I can't."

"I know that you think you're some holy saint," Matt said harshly, "Protecting her or something mental like that. But you're _not_."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Mello bit back cruelly, not listening anymore.

"Yeah, I do," Matt whispered, "You don't know what they've done."

"C'mon," Mello said getting up, "We've got a flight to catch."

* * *

Silver stared at the ceiling. She had all but forgotten it was her birthday.

_Another year gone by,_ She thought glumly, _and no leads._

A loud knock on the door shook her from her thoughts. She sat up and looked around sadly. Her apartment was crappy, to say the least. The walls were falling apart and she was pretty sure she had some 'friends' living in the holes in the wall. The knocks got more impatient.

"Hang on," She yelled weakly, surprised at how weak her voice sounded.

"Where's your rent?" A mean voice sounded through the door.

"Paul!" Silver yelled harshly, "I told you it's not due for three more days! I'll get it," She said pulling the door open viciously.

Silver stood shocked for a few moments at the person she saw on the other side of the door, the girl wore a worn summer dress, and her face looked haggard. But, Silver recognized those beautiful blue eyes and golden hair anywhere.

"Sarah!" She yelled, pulling the girl into a hug.

"What the hell happened to you? Your apartment? This place is a dump," She said walking through the door.

"It costs a lot of money to find two people that don't want to be found…" She said, trailing off, looking at the stacks of unpaid bills on the counter.

Sarah whipped around and stared at her, "You haven't been doing something crazy, right?" Sarah asked cautiously, "Dealing drugs?"

"No," Silver replied weakly, "Not that. I wouldn't do that."

Sarah got wide-eyed and stared at Silver harder, "Oh my GOD, Silver! You haven't been…"

"What?" Silver asked.

"You know…"

"No, I don't."

"STRIPPING?" Sarah asked tackling Silver to the floor.

"OW!" Silver shrieked, "Dude, I think you're on my pancreas. And NO! I haven't been stripping."

Sarah sighed a sigh of relief and continued to look at Silver, "You scared me for a second there," She said, looking forward.

"Anyways, what the hell are you doing here?" Silver asked.

"Matt said he'd call," She said sadly, "I waited all day, my bags packed, it was my fifteenth birthday, he was going to fly in and see me and we'd figure everything out."

"Well?" Silver asked, concerned.

"He never called. I tried to call him, but it said the phones were disconnected, and so, I'm here because I finally got it out of Roger where you were, and after a few years of saving up every penny I got working for a diner in town, I decided to come here."

Silver smiled, "At least I'm not the only one left behind…"

"We're not left behind!" Sarah screamed, "Or forgotten. They… they just didn't have the time. That's all. They're going to come for us."

"Well, I'm not too keen on waiting," Silver said, looking up at Sarah, "So, I figure we've got to find them first. And could you please get off of me?"

"Really?" Sarah asked hopefully, getting up.

"Yup, I've only got a lead on Near," She said sadly, "But, I think he knows where Mello is."

Sarah remained silent for a few moments, looking over the documents that Silver had gathered. "Follow me," Silver said suddenly, leading Sarah towards the bedroom.

"What's in there?"

"Just come on," Silver said, opening the door.

When Sarah walked into the room she stood astounded. The walls were covered with monitors with one super computer in the center. Wires snaked around the room, and each monitor held a different image. Some had images of people; others had different channels of the news. A few were idling, but suddenly they all flashed red.

"What's going on? How much did this all cost?" Sarah accused.

"Shh," Silver hushed, "Something big is happening. I tagged Near, Mello and Kira for the computer, but it's pretty stupid, it'll give me stuff like "Kira is mellowing out," or "Kira is near victory,", but I think this is legit."

Suddenly, all the monitors simultaneously switched to a news channel of a big building. There was a large crowd, or mob, trying to break into the building.

"T-that's the SPK!" Silver shrieked, jumping, "That's Near's organization, c'mon Sarah, we have to get down there!" Silver said, running out of the room – Sarah following close behind.

* * *

Near stared at the large monitor, scanning the crowd below. This all pointed to one thing for him, the second L had to be Kira.

"First wave of twenty people break down the door and get inside," Called Demegawa's voice over the news, "Second wave stand by." Near had the urge to shake his head. Contemptible people.

"Near, we have to evacuate immediately," Rester notified.

"Really, what pathetic people," Near said scanning the crowd on the monitors again, "I'm not surprised that there are ordinary people who support what Kira's trying to do," He said looking away from the monitor to play with his toys, "I'm talking about honest citizens who believe in their hearts that by punishing evil-doers Kira will actually make this world a better place to live.

"But, as for this crowd outside," He focused his attention on the monitors again, "They are a completely different breed. They are truly despicabl-" Near stopped, focusing on the monitors. There, just barely visible in the crowd, was a head of… silver hair. Yes, it had to be. _Silver hair._

"Near?" Rester asked.

"Despicable and stupid," He continued, his thoughts still focused on the member of the crowd, "This is just a diversion for them," He said distractedly, "They're all selfish."

"I-I know that, but that still leaves us with the immediate problem," Rester insisted.

"We'll use L's legacy and the anti-Kira protesters we hired." Near replied simply, trying to push the thought of the silver hair out of his mind.

Rester groaned, he hated when Near took slim chances, "Yes, but we only have one shot with that plan," he pressed.

"I am aware of that, but I can't imagine a better time to do it. Besides, it should be interesting," He replied, wondering if she really _was _in the crowd, this would put the ball in her court.

Rester silently agreed and the team put on their police uniforms. Near gathered his toys and prepared for the plan, but for some reason he just couldn't forget the silver-haired girl he thought he had seen in the crowd.

* * *

"It's not safe to be here," Sarah persisted, grabbing Silver's arm, trying to pull her away.

"Do you want to see them again?" Silver asked, not taking her eyes off the building.

"Y-yeah, but not risking our lives!" Sarah yelled, yanking harder on Silver.

"There's no other wa-" Silver stopped and looked up. It had begun to rain… money.

"The police are coming out!" Demegawa announced.

"C'mon," Silver said quickly, pulling Sarah along. "He'll be coming out any second; I know Near, this is his diversion!" Silver ran through the crowd, towards the doors, she was feet… then inches away from the door when Sarah suddenly screamed and yanked her bank.

Silver stood shocked as the doors broke open followed by tens, hundreds of police officers. Sarah had just saved her from being trampled. Silver stood as far into the wall as she could, scanning the crowd of police officers when she saw it. It was a streak of turquoise in a field of black – Near had dropped one of his toys. She smiled, _he rescued his toys._

"Are you trying to get killed?" Sarah screeched at her when the police officers had vanished and the rest of the crowd was fighting over the money.

"No, but look!" Silver said, pointing to the dropped toy, "It was Near, he was in there. We gotta go," She said, picking up the toy and following the direction that the police officers had gone.

It was several hours later, the first few moments of dusk, when Silver and Sarah arrived at an old worn building somewhere in Manhattan.

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked as Silver pulled a bobby pin out of her hair.

"Not really," Silver said, stretching, "But it's the best and only chance we've got."

"What're you going to even do?" She said, giving Silver an 'are-you-crazy' look.

"I'm going to climb up to the second story window," She said, pointing to a window, "I suspect it's a bathroom window based on its location. Shouldn't be hard to break in."

"I'm not exactly… a contortionist," Sarah replied cautiously, looking up at the small window.

"Don't worry; the door we're standing in front of is a back door. They had to flee, I'd imagine they have very little backup right now. Shouldn't be too hard." She said jumping up and latching onto a fire escape. In just a few moments she had been through the window and was on her way down to the first floor.

Just as Silver had her hand on the door lock to let Sarah in she heard a familiar voice from behind her, "Silver Smith, I am placing you under arrest for forty-eight accounts of internet-theft and one account for breaking and entering."

Silver turned around and smiled, "Wow Near, you got tall," She said giving him a hug, nuzzling herself into his chest. _He smells just the same, _she thought, hugging him tighter.

Suddenly there was a small click and something heavy as placed on her wrist. She looked down to see at the end of a long chain was a handcuff. On. Her. Wrist. At the other end was another handcuff. On. His. Wrist.

"Uh, Near?" She asked, holding her wrist up.

"You're under arrest and a threat; I can't let you walk around freely." He said calmly, beginning to walk the other way.

"N-near," Silver said, being dragged along, "What about…?"

"I've had her taken care of." He said calmly, walking away and dragging her with him.

"Y-you can't just _arrest _me!" Silver said, flailing and trying to pull back but to no avail. "Plus, this is _so _cliché. I don't know about you, but I'm getting the feeling that this has been done before." She said, winking at him.

"Why can't I? I work for the SPK, and you are a national fugitive. You've stolen over a million dollars from hard-working Americans." He said, ignoring her comment.

"Psh, hard working?" Silver grunted, jogging to keep up with Near now, "They were all stupid big-wig business owners. I just hacked their customers PayPal transactions, but still allowed the service to be delivered. The actual hard-working Americans never knew the difference. So what, some CEO doesn't get their fifty-thousand dollar bonus. Nobody cares."

"It's against the law," Near said, walking into a bright white room filled with a few others, "The police, FBI, and national government care."

Near walked to the center of the room where his toys lay. "Oh, I picked this up," Silver said handing him the turquoise toy.

"Thank you," Near said, sitting down, dragging Silver with him.

"Hey, Near, I had to ask you-"

"Rester, I think it's time we call the Japanese task force," Near said, cutting her off. Rester immediately put the phone to Nears ear.

"Something," Silver muttered, staring at Near.

"This is Near," Near said quickly into the receiver after the task force had picked up, Silver sat close to him and lay her head on his shoulder, listening for the other side.

"We've reestablished a secure connection, so I thought I should give you a call to let you know," Near finished, glancing at Silver.

"You're safe," Came an insincere voice that tugged at Silver's memory, "That's a relief."

"To all of you on the task force," Near continued, disregarding the comment, "I'm sure that by now some of you are starting to suspect that Kira may be one of you," Near paused, "Giving the timing of today's attack on our headquarters, I don't think anyone could blame you for having doubts," He continued, "If you don't suspect the second L of being Kira by now, you're in the wrong line of work.

"The number I gave you the day before has been reconnected. Please feel free to call anytime you'd like." Near finished, no sound came from the other line.

"Well then," He started again, "I'll be waiting for your call," He smiled and ended the transmission.

"Do you have a room with your things?" Silver asked quietly. Near nodded and stood up.

"Really?" Silver asked, looking around his room.

"What's wrong?" He asked looking around his room too.

"All white." She said walking over to his closet.

"What are you doing?" He inquired.

"I'm not wearing these gross clothes any longer," She said opening it, "Seriously, Near? All pajamas." She said, taking out a pair.

"Near," She said speaking up again, "I need you to remove these handcuffs," she said quietly.

"I cannot allow -"

"I can't get a shirt on with it on, silly." She said, poking his chest. "Unless you've got a way." She smirked, winking at him. A light blush he hoped wasn't visible heated his cheeks.

"N-no," He stuttered, undoing the handcuffs and exiting the room. After a few minutes he knocked. Nothing. He cursed inwardly and opened the door, on his bed Silver sat in his pajamas, weeping. For a few seconds he stood, unsure of what to do. Eventually he decided to sit next to her on his bed.

A few minutes passed, him just sitting there awkwardly next to her, unsure of what to do. Then, as if someone were guiding his movements, he pulled her into his lap and held her as she wept.

"W-why?" She stuttered, staring at him. "You didn't have to go. You could have taken me with you,"

Near didn't have an answer. Truthfully, he didn't consciously know why he left her behind. She was right, she could have come, maybe even helped him some, he just didn't want to do that to her. That was the only reason he had, and it just wasn't good enough.

They sat like that for a long time, even after Silver had stopped crying. They sat like that until late into the evening, when a shroud of black blanketed the sky – a curtain of stars barely visible through the fluorescent city lights.

"Near," Rester called from the front room "Come see this."

Near half-sighed as he and Silver got up and walked into the room with all of the monitors, they had all been changed to the same channel.

On the monitor was the President of the United States, getting ready to address the nation.

"Good evening," He announced to the crowd, "I'm going to try to keep this brief," The president lightly sighed, and the crowd murmured with anticipation. Silver smiled weakly, half in disbelief. "The United States will no longer oppose Kira."

"What are you saying?" The reporters shrieked, "That you believe Kira is justice?"

A shocked expression overcame the President's face, Silver watched Near carefully. "Justice? N-no, I never said that," He stuttered, "But because of Kira war and conflict has cease to exist," the President pleaded with the angry crowd, "Criminal organizations are in a state of ruin – not only in the United States, but in all free nations," He continued to plead with the crowd, "Anyone who defies Kira head on will be killed – that is a fact. We are not acknowledging Kira as a symbol of justice," He clarified, "We are simply saying that as a country we will not take any actions against it."

"How is that any different?" The reporters charged.

"You're saying that you accept Kira!" More outrages broke out and the President walked off the stage. But, Near continued to stare at the monitor long after it had changed to something else.

"What's going to happen to us now?" Gevanni asked.

"It looks like we've been disbanded, thanks to that chicken of a president. No, he's not even a chicken he's less than a maggot." Near said simply, Silver stared at him wide-eyed.

"Wait," Silver spoke up, "If you're disbanded, then I'm not arrested!" Silver said, examining her shackles. "Hey Near," she said, he turned his head toward her, "And, you know what I just realized? My wrists are small enough that I can just slip out of these."

"You've lost weight," Near said, looking at her.

"Why thank you!" Silver said, smiling.

"Rester, do we have any sustenance?" He asked, not taking his eyes off Silver.

"Yes, sir." Rester said, putting a plate of food in front of the two.

"Eat," Near said, turning back to his toys. Silver groaned and took a bite.

A long time passed and Silver had eventually fallen asleep on Nears knee. Near continued to play with his action figures and toys, waiting for one of the Japanese Task force members to call.

"Near!" Rester announced suddenly, pointing to one of the monitors. "What should we do?" He asked, pointing to a cloaked figure in the screen, clearly holding a gun to one of the agent's heads.

"Let him in," Near replied calmly. He waited for a few moments and then heard footsteps coming down the hallway. "Mello, welcome." He said.

"Drop your weapon!" Rester and Gevanni yelled, pointing their guns at Mello. Mello grunted harshly.

"Everyone please put away your guns. Having a shootout here will achieve nothing." Near said mutedly, trying not to wake the sleeping girl. Mello's eyes widened for a moment when he noticed Silver.

"Sir, with all due respect, Mello's the one who killed our partners." Gevanni replied, holding his gun steady.

"Please don't make me say it again, remember that our primary objective is still to catch Kira. Killing Mello right now will do nothing to benefit our investigation."

"Alright," Rester replied - he and Gevanni lowering their weapons. Mello followed suit, pointing his toward the floor.

"It seems like things have been going just as you planned, Near," Mello said, a second meaning hiding behind his words.

"Yes, I take it you've already heard all about the second L from Linder by now, I've pretty much figured out who Kira is - and it's mostly thanks to everything you've done." Near replied ungratefully.

"Shut up, Near!" Mello yelled, pulling out his gun and waking Silver. The rest of the agents followed, pulling their guns out as well. "I'm not just a tool for you to use in order to solve your puzzles, you know?" He said harshly, his finger shaking on the trigger.

"What the hell, Mello?" Silver yelled, standing up.

"Stay out of this," He growled back at her.

"Hell no," Silver bit back, "I haven't seen you in four years and this is our reunion? I don't think so, Mello! Plus, do you have _any idea _how loud those things are? Put it away before you hurt yourself."

"I'm not a kid anymore!" He yelled back.

"Mello, if you really want to shoot me then go ahead and do it." Near replied over the chaos.

"Well from the way you're acting – wait, what Near?" Silver fumed, "You don't get to say things like that!" Mello's finger shook more violently on the trigger.

"It's my birthday you two!" Silver yelled, pulling out her final card. "I don't want anybody dead on my flipping birthday!" She hollered at the two, "And, because Mello, if you shoot him they'll have no choice but to shoot you, and then both of you will be dead. That's just what Kira wants." Silver finished, feeling monumentally weaker than before.

"You have a good point," Mello said putting his gun away.

"Really? What part? The fact that you guys act like children or the fact that you're only doing what Kira wants?"

Mello didn't reply, "Anyway," he started, "I'm only here for one thing – to take back that photograph you have, Near."

"Of course," Near said taking a photograph out of his pajamas, "I got it from the orphanage. There was only one, and no copies have been made," He clarified. "I've already gone ahead and dealt with everyone who knows your face – both inside and outside Wammy's house. They'll keep quiet.

"I can't say one-hundred percent for certain, but it shouldn't be possible for you to be killed by the notebook," Silver's eyes widened. So they knew about the notebook?

A cruel laugh came from behind her. "Not yours of course," Zellogi replied, dancing around her. "You could always write his name," he said, floating around her, "You know his name. It'd only take a second…"

"Is that the only business you have with me, Mello?" Near finished, looking at Mello. Silver wanted to yell at Zellogi right now, but she couldn't. Not yet.

"Near. Let's get one thing straight, I have no intention of working together with you on this." Mello said, turning away, Silver remained watching the two in disgust.

"Yes, I know."

"At the same time," Mello paused, stopping, "I can't just take my photo and leave – that wouldn't be right." Silver smiled inwardly, "So, I'll settle my debt. The killer notebook – it belongs to a shinigami," A ripple of shock flowed through the agents; "Whoever touches it is able to see a god of death." Silver was shocked for a second time, they knew about the shinigami _too. _Silver's ears perked for a second, catching a barely audible gasp from Near.

"That's crazy," Rester breathed, unsure of how to react.

"Who the hell would believe in something like that?" Gevanni replied angrily.

"I would," Near said simply, Silver stole a glance at him, "I believe him completely," Near reassured, "What good would it do to tell an outrageous lie like that? Even if he had something to gain, he could at least come up with a more believable story. Therefore, these gods of death must exist."

"Ooh, he's pretty good. I like him. You should choose him instead of Mello." Zellogi spoke up, Silver was having a hard time controlling her anger.

"The notebook I obtained had previously belonged to another shinigami, perhaps even Kira himself. Also, some of the rules written inside are actually fake. That's all I can tell you for now." Mello finished, taking a bite of his chocolate.

"You know," Zellogi whispered, "You could always show them your notebook. I'm sure it'd be a huge help. I'm getting pretty bored with you." Silver bit her lip. Hard.

Mello took a few steps, "Near," He paused, taking another bite of his chocolate. Near twirled his hair. "Which of us is going to reach Kira first I wonder?"

"The race is on." Near replied with a smirk.

"We're both headed towards the same destination," Mello laughed, "I'll be waiting for you."

"Heh, right." Near finished haughtily.

Silver stared for a few moments. "Wait!" She called after Mello, running up to him.

"What?" He barked at her.

"I need to talk to you," She replied angrily.

"Speak," He commanded.

Near waited and watched the door that the two had left for a few minutes. After about ten minutes the two came walking through the door, a bright red handprint stretching across Mello's scarred face.

"I have something to tell you two," Silver said, dignified. "I have decided."

"What?" Mello asked, staring at her. Near remained silent, waiting for her verdict.

"I am going back to Los Angeles with you, Mello."

"What?" The two asked in unison, disbelief embedded in their features.

**Well, that is my chapter. I felt it was a little long, and if you didn't notice, I love you, but if you did, well, I'm sorry. But, my story generally follows the anime (sorry, manga lovers, but I AM working on reading it,) AND WELL, I sort of mashed episode 30 and 31 together.  
IM SORRY!**

**I hope you enjoyed.**

**And you may be wondering why I did the time-skip.**

**Well, it's pretty simple. It's not like that book you read in English class with the five-hundred and one different meanings, no, it's simple.**

**I didn't want to do the whole depressing act. It gets old.**

**:) So, be happy you have a nice author! ;) **

**P.S. I am writing these bolded thingamajigs at 5 in the morning, and I have been up since two in the afternoon. That's too long. So, if I sound arrogant or mean my bad. It's the sleepiness. **

**REVIEW TIME. AFTER 4,624 words I am seriously wondering if I'll make it. And, 17 hours of awakedness. Wait, doesn't the average person stay up 16 hours? I should NOT be this sleep deprived.**

**QueenOfAshes – thank you for reading this in one day. It is not a feat I could accomplish. Or maybe it is… -evil laugh-**

**CallMeHush – YES, thank you for reviewing again. AND, I enjoy your alias. It makes me smile :) I would tell you not to be creeped out, but that generally creeps people out more. So, I'll just tell you that I'm tired so I'm going to be a bit weirder than normal. Anyways, I'm glad you don't mind a bit of Mello, I feel as if I've ignored him some.**

**deepoblivion99 – Yes, she has stuck her claws into Mello and I think she intends to keep them there. Muwhahahaha, I think that she wants to join him in the mafia. It's just whether they'll let her or not.**

**burry and bunny – and this update is delivered as promised! :D Yes, if you like your silver/sidoh pairing I suggest you scroll up to the top. I am in love with Sidoh, by the way, ever since his "Wee, plonk." Move in Mello's hideout.**

**PutTheLNearTheLightYagami – anyways, yes, quite happy you reviewed! And a new one at that! Quite glad you read it all in one day, I could not have done that! Also, I don't mind rambling, I'm a bit of a rambler myself. Anyways, I'll check those video's out, and, no need to worry about the language… I'm a bit of a pottymouth. Well, I'm glad you love near! AND HIS PAJAMAS OMG SILVERS WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW. **

**P.S. I love your use of P.S.**

**AND ALL IN ALL, everything has been answered and takencare of. And as soon as I update this I am plopping off to bed.**

**Eat. Pray. Love. Wait, no, that's not right.**

**Read. Review. Enjoy.**

**Signing off.**


	28. Grocery Stores

******UPDATE. At the bottom. :) **

**Me: MATTIEKINZ, plzzplzplz disclaimer.**

**Matt: Foine. Yes, fo-ine. Sastars429 does not own death note.**

* * *

"I have something to tell you two," Silver said, dignified. "I have decided."

"What?" Mello asked, staring at her. Near remained silent, waiting for her verdict.

"I am going back to Los Angeles with you, Mello."

"What?" The two asked in unison, disbelief embedded in their features.

* * *

"I'm going to Los Angeles with Mello," Silver said again, a little unsure of herself.

"No you're not," Mello said and Near nodded in agreement.

"How sweet," Silver said smiling, "You two agree on something."

"This isn't something to be taking lightly, Silver," Mello said sternly.

"And I'm not," Silver clarified, "I _am _an adult, and I can make my own decisions."

"Not if you're under arrest, Miss National Fugitive," Near said, shaking his head.

"National fugitive?" Mello asked, staring at her.

"I stole a couple million dollars," Silver shrugged, "And it's not like he's not, Mello's probably done way worse things than me, and you had every intention of letting him go."

"A couple _million_?" Mello asked her, wide-eyed.

"He was escaping," Near said remaining neutral, "We couldn't do anything to stop him."

"Well then I'm escaping too," Silver said indignantly, "There's nothing you can do to stop me either."

"Who says I'd let you come with me anyway?" Mello growled, Silver only glared in return. Near raised an eyebrow.

Things remained silent for a few minutes, both boys expecting an answer from her. "Why should I dignify that with an answer?" She gnarled at the two, who only stared at her in return, "I'm not scared of any mafia brutes," she huffed, "And plus, Mello - you don't get to have those luxuries."

"What 'luxuries'?"

"'Letting me come with you', you don't get to _let _me do anything," she paused, gathering her emotions, "And neither do you, Near. Not after leaving me."

"And you think we did that for no reason? We did that to protect you," Mello yelled.

"Really?" Silver said astonished, "You think you were protecting us? You weren't," she paused again, taking a breath, "We're famished. Undernourished. I've got a larger criminal record than _you_, Mello, and you somehow think that you were _protecting _us?" she turned away, "Both of you are alive and well. We're dead inside and nearly on the outside."

"Us? We're?" Mello asked.

"Sarah and I," Silver hissed.

"You're being so unreasonable," Mello warned, although, now he was thinking of Matt too, "You're not coming with me, you shouldn't even be with Near. If Kira –"

"I don't care about Kira!" Silver bellowed, nearly shaking the room.

"Well you should," Mello shouted back, taking a step closer to her, "You're being so damned stupid!"

"I'm being stupid?" Silver howled, yelling in Mello's face now, "You're the one being stupid. You've joined a fucking mafia for Jiminy Cricket's sake!"

"What I've done is none of your business," Mello whispered harshly, glaring at Silver. Silver glowered back.

"Well it should've been," she muttered, turning away and crossing her arms. "I'm going with you," she added harshly.

"No you're not," he replied.

* * *

Mello didn't look at her the entire car ride. In fact, Silver was pretty sure this was the best driving Mello may have ever done. The entire length of the ride to her apartment he kept his eyes on the road; stopping at every stop light and sign, and as far as she knew never breaking a single traffic rule. Somehow though the atmosphere was still unnerving.

She shifted uncomfortably, for one of the first times in her life she had no idea what to do. She was torn between breaking out laughing – she had won, she was going to Los Angeles with him, or crying. He _had _left her and as far as she knew he didn't want her. He'd done just about everything to get out of babysitting her.

He pulled into the parking lot of her apartment and parked the car. He unlocked the doors and waited for her to get out. She waited a few seconds, weighing her options, and took the keys out of the ignition, pocketing them before getting out of the car.

When she got into her apartment she reached into her pocket and took out his cell phone, earlier she had pick-pocketed him (another skill she'd picked up in the city), and looked in the contacts. Sure enough, Matt was in there. She quickly sent him her address and accidentally scrolled down a name or two when she saw it.

There in the phone's small, elegant blue handwriting was a single name. _Silver._ She clicked on it and saw of course, her number. She froze. He had had her number this entire time. He could've called. He could've made contact. He could have saved her all her trouble. She clutched the phone tightly and shoved it in her pocket.

"You know, maybe he doesn't love you. You could just be a nuisance to him." Zellogi said, smiling at her. She took her opportunity and smacked him across the face.

"I'm not going to 'choose' who to date, I'm not going to kill Mello, and I'm most certainly not your pet!" She shouted at him.

"I know that Silver," Sarah said, coming out of her room. "You're so silly sometimes."

"Sarah!" Silver yelled coming over and hugging her, "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Yeah," Sarah replied shyly, "I was afraid after some two huge guards came and carried me away. The next thing I remember is waking up here."

"Anyways," Silver sighed, "Go wait by the door. Matt's coming for you."

Sarah stood shocked for a minute or two, "Wait, what?" she stuttered.

"Matt's on his way here," Silver repeated, heading towards her room.

"B-but," she started to stutter more violently, "He can't be."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one," Sarah paused, "I look like crap. He can't come back and see me with greasy hair and no make-up," She paused looking over herself, "My dress cost me a dollar from a garage sale, and I look like an anorexic model! He can't come back to _this_," she cried, staring in the mirror.

Silver poked her head outside her door, "At least you have the model part going for you," she smirked, "Anyways. You look great."

Silver threw on a sweatshirt and tucked her death note in her pants before exiting the apartment speedily. She said a quick goodbye to Sarah and threw on the hood. She thought she passed Matt in the hallway, but kept her head down. When she finally reached the parking lot she was furious again.

"Mello," she shouted once his car was in view, "What is wrong with you?" she shouted before chucking his phone at his window.

"What the hell?" Mello shouted, getting out of the car and picking up his phone.

"You had my number all this time," Silver howled, pushing him. "You could've called." Mello didn't reply, all he did was quietly get back in the car and unlock the doors. Silver didn't push, for the first time at all in the past four years she understood.

The next car ride was quiet too. It was some time along the long ride, both of them rigid in their seats, before a word was spoken between the two.

"I'm sorry," Silver said softly, surprising herself. Mello didn't reply, "I just missed you both."

Mello grunted as a reply. "Why'd you come with me?" He asked her finally.

"Because," she started before she was interrupted.

"You're after Near. I've known that for a long time now," he still didn't look at her, "What I feel doesn't matter."

"You don't get to tell me how I feel," Silver said, trying to stay calm, "And it's been _four _years, I doubt you could even guess what I'm feeling now."

Mello's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Look, some rules are going to be enforced,"

"Rules?" Silver asked astonished, "Placed by _you?_"

"Yes," he answered sternly, "Rules."

"Okay," she replied coyly, "I'll humor you. What sorts of rules?"

"You'll stay in my apartment,"

"Sexy," she interrupted.

Mello stopped to roll his eyes for continuing, "You won't leave unless I say its okay, and most of all," he paused to stare at her intensely, "You will not get involved or ask about the Kira case."

Silver looked at him dumbfounded for a few seconds. "What?" she yelled, "You can't forbid me from helping you!"

"Well," he started unfazed, "I just did."

"You can't just do that, I can help!"

"I'm not Near," he said back, scarily calm, "I'm not as smart as him. I can't assure that you won't be in danger."

"Who said that you weren't as smart as him? Some stupid list at Wammy's?" Silver replied, shocking Mello.

"You think…?"

"I think you're smarter than him to be truthful," she paused, "It's just that… you make all of the stupid mistakes."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean like even Einstein could get two plus two wrong, if he wasn't thinking. That's your problem," she said, looking at him hard, "You don't always think. Near calculates everything down to a fine point. He doesn't miss the silly stuff. However," she paused, "He does make bigger mistakes. You do too, but he doesn't handle them as well as you."

"So?" He asked pulling into the airport parking lot.

"So," she continued, "In a maturity or an ability to think before you do contest, Near wins by a lot. In an actual intelligence contest it's not so easy to tell."

Mello opened his mouth to reply a few times, but decided against it. He really had no idea how to reply to that, nobody had ever called him smarter than Near.

"Another problem you have," Silver started again, "Is that you have too much respect for L."

"How can I have too much respect for him?" Mello shouted.

"Like that. Near's focusing on surpassing L, beating him at his own game essentially."

"Yeah, I know that, how does that relate to me?"

"Sometimes it feels like you're solving this case to avenge L, not to surpass him." She finished, getting out of the car and walking towards the airport.

Mello sat and thought for a minute. Yeah, he missed L… a lot, and nothing would make him happier than to see Kira die, but… was he working on the case for that reason? He'd never thought of that before, but now that he had he wasn't sure of his reasons anymore.

* * *

Mello was speeding on his bike through the city. The ebony sky was lit by the several street lamps and fluorescent city lights that whizzed by his peripheral. He'd finally done it, he had beaten Kira. He and Matt had procured both notebooks and discovered both Kiras. Now they just needed to reveal them publicly and he will have won. He'll have beat Near.

Mello closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying his glory, and when he opened them he found himself speeding toward a brick wall. He tried to move his hands to steer out of the way, but he felt as if he had no control, somehow it felt as if a giant hand was guiding his movements, a god of some sort… a shinigami.

He cursed inwardly, he had miscalculated. It was Kira. He had forgotten something somewhere, made a _stupid mistake_, or something. He and Matt hadn't really gotten both notebooks, or maybe there was a third. He didn't know anymore. He tried harder and harder to move his hands as the wall got closer and closer. He closed his eyes and prepared for the impact.

Hot metal and brick crushed and burned his pale skin, and he opened his blue eyes to look upwardly. He wanted to hold the rosary around his neck before he passed on, but it felt as if something were crushing his chest and arms. He couldn't move. He gasped for breath, but it felt as if his chest wouldn't inflate.

Mello opened his eyes suddenly and tried to sit up in bed but a searing pain went through his forehead when he tried.

"Ow," sounded a voice from above him. He looked up carefully to see Silver sitting on his chest, rubbing her forehead.

_It was just a dream,_ he thought, relaxing his muscles.

"Quite the dream there," Silver said looking down at him, "You were smiling one minute and the next you were freaking out."

"What the hell are you doing on my chest?" Mello charged.

"Waitin' for you to wake up," She replied simply, "Your apartment is so boring; you went to sleep right after we got home last night."

_Home?_ He thought staring at her, _It's already her 'home'? _

"Well I'm up," He rubbed his eyes, "What did you want?"

"Let's go shopping," She said excitedly, hopping off his chest to lie next to him, "This is California!"

"I'm not going shopping," he growled.

"Can't we do anything today?" she begged in his ear.

Mello's cheeks heated and went a bright red. He smoothly turned away from her so she wouldn't see, "Fine. We can go grocery shopping," he replied gruffly.

"Grocery shopping?"

"My chocolate supply is running a little low," he affirmed, "Grocery shopping."

* * *

"How much do you eat?" Mello asked astounded as Silver piled fruit, cheese, juice, waffles, pancakes, turkey, peanut butter, soup, and cookies into the cart. "I didn't know taking you _grocery _shopping was a suicide mission."

Silver looked down at herself, "Not much. But this looks really good," she said grabbing a jar of pickles.

"No," Mello objected, "_This _looks good," he said as he piled four boxes of chocolate bars into their cart.

"That's just unhealthy," Silver replied, stacking three jars of frosting into the cart.

Mello rolled his eyes, "You know the employees are going to think we just got high and now we've got the munchies."

"You didn't?" Silver teased, "I thought it was legal here!"

Mello started to laugh but stopped when he looked toward the entrance. Two hulking figures dressed in black were entering the store. Worst of all, Mello recognized them.

"Get behind me," he warned, keeping his eyes on the figures. They quickly spotted him and started walking toward them. Silver noticed and stood behind Mello.

"Mello," The two greeted.

"Roy and Skyer?" Mello asked back, spreading his arms behind him in a protective way.

"Sorry we didn't die, Mello," the larger of the two said, "But we've got some unfinished business."

* * *

**I am so sorry that I took last weekend off! Normally, I would have had everything all sorted out, but last weekend being the fourth of July (I'm from the U.S.) my family decided to celebrate it.**

**Now that I think about it that's kind of really weird. My family usually only really celebrates three holidays… Christmas, Thanksgiving, and oddly enough Groundhogs Day.**

**Maybe that's because Groundhogs Day is my favorite holiday.**

**I guess we celebrate Halloween too, but that's just epic-ness. We love Halloween.**

**ENOUGH ABOUT ME!**

**5****************!UPDATE!******7**

**I figured I should Inform you of my plans once this story is over.**

**Those of you who have favorite/tracked my story Opposites Attract, I think you will be excited to be informed that it will be starting up again after I finish this one.**

**I will also be starting up a new story – Pulchritudinous. It's a MattxOC story… I've fallen in love with him!**

**Matt: MATT WILL PREVAIL.**

**Mello: Ironically, you talk to me most, and yet you've never pondered a MelloxOC :( **

**Me: MAYBE I HAVE. MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.**

**Mello: NOOOO!**

**Me: REVIEW TIME.**

**burry and bunny – Ah yes. My dear friends, Matt and Mello, of course they declare that they are not my friends, never have been, and never will be. I LOVE SIDOH. Sorry, bit-o-randomness in that. I don't like Mary-Sue's so I'm glad most have said that Silver is not a sue. Although I think I baby her a wittle bit. IT IS A SURPRISE. I'm so predictable. But :( if anything bad were to happen, you can always start up readin' a new fic. And everything's back together again! Like one of Near's puzzles. Bwahahah. I'm glad burry has joined you on this readin' adventure! **

**PutTheLNearTheLightYagami** – **NO! Of course your reviews aren't pointless to me. I love them, especially since I'm a rambler too. My favorite quote? Any time Light has laughed. I laugh so hard!... because he's insane. And when you brought up the potato chip I just had to go and rewatch that. Or, another one of my favorite quotes is when Sidoh is in Mello's hideout and he says "Wee plonk". Great. I hope you enjoyed your vacay – and yes, his pajamas are quite nice.**

**Near: How would you know?**

**Me: MUWAHAHAH.**

**QueenofAshes – YAAAAAAAYYYYYY! I hope you're enjoying!**

**KatherineMello – Thank you much! Keep on readin!**

**deepoblivion99 – your review made me laugh hardcore. I will be sending him down there… his reaction would be terrible… and life isn't fun if there isn't bad stereotypes! I get them a lot… especially since I'm from… Minnesoooooootah.**

**Autumn – you'll just have to trust meh on it! It's a surprise, but I prumise it'll be satisfying… oh my… that sounds bad. I hate Mello too . it's why I won't write an OC fic about you, Mello! Much love -heart-**

**Mello: :( **

**Deadlysweetness13 – yeah, I've recently rewatched like the entire second half… and my first time around I thought Mello was a huge jerk. Second time around? I'm finally seeing how mean Near is! Of course, I love them both.**

Thank you mates! Please read and review again! If you're wondering who Roy and Skyer are – they're the two guys at the Mafia hideout when Mello blew it up. Guess what? THEY DIDN'T DIE. MUWHAHA.

Much love -heart-

-Sastars429


	29. Love is Lies

**Disclaimer: I do not own death note, and I do not have anything against homosexuals. I'm very pro-gay... not in the sense that I want everyone to be gay, but in the sense that I'm not discriminative... I'm just digging myself a deeper hole here.**

* * *

"Sorry we didn't die, Mello," the larger of the two said, "But we've got some unfinished business."

Silver gulped from behind Mello, these guys didn't exactly radiate a sense of good-will. They seemed callous and brutal.

"Even an explosion can't kill us," the smaller one said, "Although, you weren't trying to kill us, were you?" he finished taking a step toward Mello. Mello tensed and Silver clutched his jacket, staying as close to him as possible. She felt like a child.

"I see you have a guest," the larger one said. "She's pretty too," he said, arching his neck to look behind Mello.

Mello instinctively took a step backward and growled, "She's none of your business, Roy,"

"I don't know, Mello," the other one chimed in, "You owe us for trying to kill us."

"Yeah, you don't have any authority over us anymore," Roy charged.

"Leave her out of this," Mello warned again, "You are well aware of what I'm capable of."

"Really?" Skyer said, getting closer yet to Mello, "Are you armed? Because it sure doesn't look like it," he mused, "And you always were just a bundle of twigs," he said, gruffly grabbing Mello's arm, "Now what was the proper name for a bundle of twigs, Roy?"

"I believe a bundle of twigs is a faggot," Roy replied, his look sinister.

Mello's stance changed from defensive to aggressive, and Silver grabbed his hand. Mello quickly pulled away, but Roy and Skyer had already noticed. "You have feelings for this girl," Skyer said, walking over to the side to get a better look at Silver, who tried to press herself closer to Mello.

"How low," Mello scoffed, "Why are you attacking me in a Rainbow? That's got to be a new low for you guys," Mello said, appearing calm, but Silver knew that he was in a slight state of panic.

Roy scoffed and grabbed Mello's shoulder, "We have no intention of creating a ruckus inside of this establishment," he said, pushing Mello towards the back exit, "But like we said, we do have unfinished business."

"Yeah," Skyer said, grabbing Mello's other shoulder, "After you obliterated the hideout we've lost our source of income."

Silver took the opportunity that they both had their backs turned and hastily scrolled through her contacts in her phone; somebody had to be able to help them. She finally found Matt's contact and sent him a hasty text.

"Wait," Roy said, stopping, "Get the girl, Skyer. She might make negotiations… smoother," he said scarily and Silver shoved her phone into her pocket again.

Silver gulped and fought the urge to scream as Skyer grabbed her shoulder gruffly and pushed her to follow Roy and Mello. She saw him tense slightly, so she fought to remain calm. Surely Matt would be there in a minute or faster, after all the grocery store wasn't that far from their apartment.

Silver shook as she stood outside, scared out of her mind as the heavy metal object was pressed closely against her temple. She closed her eyes and tried to even out her breathing while the men ranted on about the money that Mello apparently owed the two.

Silver counted the seconds as they went by, praying that Matt was just around the corner and would be there any second. Minutes went by, and she found herself doubting that he would come at all. Seven minutes had gone by. Four-hundred and twenty seconds. That had to have been enough time for him to get there… it should have only taken him thirty seconds or so. And then it dawned on her_, the message didn't send_. That had to be it; there was just no other explanation.

Suddenly there was a clinking sound, like loose change in a pocket, and Silver saw to her surprise that the man was taking bullets out of the revolver that had just been placed on her temple. To her horror though, he placed one bullet in the revolver and spun, taking the safety off and pressing it to her temple once more.

This time she couldn't control the wave of panic that swept through her body and accidentally let out a mangle sound that sound half like a gasp and half like a muffled scream. Mello's reaction was exactly what she had been trying to avoid: he froze and his eyes widened, Silver could tell – he was panicking, and a lot. He had _stopped thinking_; he was going to make a stupid mistake.

"Well where's the money," Skyer asked, pressing the gun harder against her temple and she flinched.

Mello paused for a second, trying to think, "I don't have it but,"

"Not good enough," Roy said gesturing towards Skyer.

"Wait what are you going to do?" Mello yelled back. Skyer gave a crude smile and Silver shut her eyes tightly, she could feel Skyer's finger poised over the trigger, and then he squeezed.

_Click._

A tear slid down Silver's cheek, she couldn't tell if it was out of relief, panic, or the fear that she had just felt. She had honestly believed those few moments were going to be her last. She cursed inwardly, it was her fault that they were in this mess, if she'd remained calm Mello would have thought of a solution.

Suddenly there was a roaring and a screeching from outside the alleyway that the four were in and a sleek red car screamed as it skidded to a halt outside. Skyer and Roy said a few unsavory words and pointed their guns at the car.

"Show yourself!" The yelled at the car as it slowly rolled down a window. Silver's heart skipped a beat out of pure joy as she saw the familiar auburn-haired boy smile through the window, outstretching an arm with gun of his own.

"Sorry boys," He said, pausing to take aim, "But I need these two," he finished quickly shooting the two thugs in the arm. They fell down immediately and Silver looked down to see tranquilizer darts stuck in their arms.

"Horse tranquilizers," Matt said, speaking up, "Those two will be out for some time," he reflected, unlocking the doors, "And when they come to they'll be in no condition to come after us."

Silver smiled as she grabbed Mello's hand and led him to Matt's car. "Silver," he said once they were all in and heading back, "By any chance do you have an I-phone?"

"Er, yeah." She replied, digging into her pocket to take out her purple I-phone.

"Figured, had a tough time figuring out what 'hall is grog' meant. After looking at the keyboard and figuring you had autocorrect, I managed to decipher it to 'help us grocery'." He said, turning into the building where they lived.

Silver smiled sheepishly, "I was wondering what was taking you so long."

"You might want to get a new phone," he said snidely, "Or turn off auto-correct."

She grinned, "I think I should too," she finished, getting out of the car. She started walking towards the building but noticed that Mello and Matt were still in the car. She was about to call out to them when she stopped… they were talking about something important.

Silver listened carefully, trying to pick up what Matt was saying, "That was a close call," she heard him say, "Why'd you go and do that… especially today? Remember tonight," he was cut off suddenly as Mello opened the door and slammed it.

"I know," he whispered, almost to himself.

* * *

Silver lay on the couch, watching Mello. He had been watching television since they had gotten home, after the incident, but she couldn't help but notice how troubled he looked. Sure, after today anybody would have been troubled, she had almost gotten killed… but he looked especially troubled. He hadn't taken his eyes off the television, even when she had offered him something to eat. He hadn't even moved.

Suddenly he moved and took the remote, switching off the television. Silver watched as he did this, his motions almost robotic. _Inhuman_. Slowly, he stood up and headed for the door.

"Goodbye," he muttered, reaching for the door handle.

Silver stood up and grabbed his jacket, the one he hadn't even bothered to take off when they had gotten back. "Where are you going?" she asked him.

"Nowhere," he replied simply, reaching for the doorknob.

"No," she yelled at him, surprised by her outburst, "You can't do that. You can't just leave without an explanation, especially not after today," she yelled at him further, turning him around. "Not after everything we've been through." She finished, hitting his chest.

For a minute, he stood there unfazed. He was about to turn around and try to leave again but she stopped him, he opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he noticed the tears flowing from her eyes. He reached a single pale hand to her cheek and carefully rubbed away a tear.

"What?" She yelled at him, "I know you were going to say something, so say it!" She screamed at him, staring into his blue eyes that held an expression that she couldn't place. She hadn't ever seen it before in him, and it unnerved her. He wasn't being himself.

"My name," he said softly, looking back into her eyes, "It's," he started but stopped when she raised a hand.

"Don't," she warned, "You can tell me that when you get back, Mello," she said, choosing her words carefully, "Because you _will _be back."

Things were quiet for a few moments between the two, "My name," he started again but stopped when Silver hit him again.

"No!" She yelled at him, while he grabbed her hands and pulled her to him, "No," she repeated, her voice noticeably weaker, "Names are for tombstones."

"I want you to know, Silver," he said quietly, "I trust you… I… I love you."

Silver stared up at him, unsure of what he had just said, but the look in his eyes told her that he had meant what he had said. Suddenly, she stood on her toes and kissed him. Mello widened his eyes for a second when she kissed him; it was soft and quick, completely different from their last kiss. Their last kiss had been full of passion and something he had believed to be love, but this time was different in a way he couldn't fully describe. It sort of reminded him of the way a married couple would kiss… from what he had seen in town at least. It was almost like a habit, like it would always be that way, just another fact of life – there would always be twelve months in a year, the sun would always rise and set, and they would always kiss like that. They would kiss that way every single day for the rest of their lives, simple as that.

"My name," he tried again, and this time Silver didn't stop him. She knew that it was something he wanted her to know, and some part of her understood. "It's Mihael… Mihael Keehl."

Silver stood in his arms for a second longer, before turning around and staring out of the window. "Nicole," she said carefully, "Nicole Harkin," she grimaced at the sound of her real name, remembering her father. "Promise me," she said softer this time, "Promise me you'll come back."

"I promise," she heard a soft voice say from behind her, the tone was wrong. No doubt, it was Mello's voice, but something about the tone was off… it wasn't right… was he lying? Silver shrugged it off and smiled.

"And Mello, I love -" She stopped when she turned around and saw the door ajar, but Mello was no longer standing there. She dashed down the stairs, chasing the person that she never wanted to lose, and when she finally reached the doors she burst through them, just early enough to see him speed away on his motorcycle.

"You too." She finished, burying her face in her hands, already missing him more than she ever had. She knew that she couldn't keep him from leaving… that it was the right thing to let him go, but somehow she already regretted it more than anything she ever had.

* * *

"_But I'm thinking of what Sarah said, that love is watching someone die…" What Sarah Said, Death Cab for Cutie_

* * *

**Ah yes, a chapter is finished. I am so gloomy writing this that I fear that it took a toll on the quality…. –cries- I'm so sorry loves… so, so sorry.**

**Frogata x 4 – Thank you for reviewing so much! I love Mello, he has grown on me… as seen from my tears. I've done a lot of crying over the past few days due to anime… so strange. The story is beginning to come to a close… I'd estimate three or so chapters left. :( I'm depressed. I'm going to go eat something sweet.**

**ginger123113 – Drowning in sperm isn't my preferred way to go…. O.O, well, I'm honestly really glad that you're pretty flexible on either side, you know? I mean, Silver's pullin' a serious Twilight here, and you know how that went… there's really nothing you can do :( Thanks for complimenting the story, it means much to me! Too bad it's near its close… although, I think (I'm estimating) 32 chapters is enough :)**

**Deadlysweetness13 – he indeed doesn't! SHE IS AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN! Yay! –eats chocolate ice cream- I sad. I hope this update was soon… 5:30 AM central time. XD**

**DaughterofEternity97 – glshg;skghslkhgsklghs, I love doing that. It's how I type out my manical laughs… like: hahahahhaahgfjklsh;i[lgljhg. Keep on readin'! I hope you enjoyed… I didn't. I'm a sad writer.**

**deepoblivion99 – I LOVE MELLO'S BIKE. IT'S EPIC. And yes… Mello is a (not so) Sophisticated english man. I quite enjoy that. –hearts- Keep reading :)**

**PutTheLNearTheLightYagami – I always get sunburn on vacations :( Near says hi too… I think. I wonder what he'll do when he finds out about Silver... hmm. Near also says that he loves you.**

**Near: What?**

**Me: Don't you? I'm pretty sure that they're like your only fan.**

**Near: What?**

**Me: Don't you love them?**

**Near: My affections are none of your business.**

**Me: NEAR HAS A CRUSH!**

**Near: -blush-**

**Thank you all for reading… please review. Even if it is to flame me about Mello,**

**With love,**

**Sastars429**


	30. Leaving

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did, this chapter wouldn't have been necessary. **

* * *

White Ivy

"Leaving"

"T," Kiyomi Takada said firmly into the receiver, "That is all I have to tell you today. We'll talk soon,"

"Very well, I understand," Mikami replied smoothly, "I also have a message for you," he finished quieter, slightly secretive.

"Yes, what is it?" She continued to reply firmly.

"I've confirmed it." The line went dead.

Takada gasped slightly, and then quickly opened a new message to Light.

_I want to see you. _She typed quickly, hesitating just a moment before hitting send.

* * *

Mello yawned and stretched out his shoulders as he looked at his bike. Yes, he knew it was necessary to leave Silver in the U.S., but he wished that it wasn't necessary to fly back to Japan. He had been awake for what felt like ages, but he didn't have time to rest now. He was already a little late, and if he missed Matt's diversion then their whole mission would be a fail.

So, forcefully pushing any dwindling thoughts of Silver out of his mind, he mounted his bike and sped out of the airport parking lot. His body ached and he sincerely didn't want to move. He felt like he was attached by a rubber band to California… to Silver… and at any moment it would suck him back… or worse, it would snap.

But, there was something else too. He had this sickening feeling in his stomach, it felt disgusting and it oozed into his brain and heart. It was like… he knew he was going to die. It was some sort of sixth sense, because it didn't feel to him like it was a _chance_ or even just his imagination… no, it felt like _a statistic_. Something predetermined based on the facts, something he couldn't change, and that's what scared him. It felt like some other supernatural being had sealed his fate as easily as if it were an envelope.

He hit himself mentally; he couldn't afford to think of things like that right now. _I've got to focus; _he thought to himself, _it won't be fair to Matt if I screw this up._

He skidded into the parking lot, catching a glimpse of Matt's red car speeding off, followed by several black cars. Mello heaved a sigh of relief and pulled in front of the building, seeing Halle guiding Takada into the NHN building.

"Hey," he called after them, thinking fast, "It won't be safer inside if there's a rebel, it might be more dangerous," he said carefully, looking at Halle.

Luckily, Halle recognized him and considered a moment. For a moment Mello thought she would notify the others, but instead she ushered Takada towards his bike, "Go with him," she urged gently, "It'll be alright."

A moment later Takada's arms snaked around Mello's middle and he sped off, and although Halle had helped him, he noticed that she also sent several black cars to follow him as well. Mello grunted angrily and tried to remember the plan. He regretted not thinking it over during his flight, he had spent the entire flight wishing Near didn't exist. A part of him knew he had to help Near, or they would never catch Kira, but another part of him still hated Near, and loathed him even more for being the reason he had to leave Silver. He cursed inwardly; he needed to keep his thoughts on the present moment, not about Near and Silver.

A pang of guilt and remorse hit him when he thought Silver's name, and a voice inside of him told him to steer back to the airport and get on the next flight home.

_Go back, _it urged painfully, _Near can handle himself._

Mello growled aloud, _No he can't_, he argued with the voice, smiling, "Near needs _me_," he said, grinning manically. He looked up ahead and saw a narrow alleyway, thinking fast he made a sharp turn and the following cars slammed on the breaks. He smiled and sped down the alleyway, smoothly attaching a silver handcuff around Takada's wrist. She pulled back for a second, and he sped up, causing her to instinctively snake her arms around his middle again.

"Wha-what're you doing?" She asked him, a little bit of fear ringing in her words.

Mello didn't reply, he just kept his eyes trained forward. If he just focused on getting to the truck, he'd be fine. He'd keep his thoughts clear and their plan would work out flawlessly. Near would beat Kira and Mello would have the satisfaction of knowing that Near needed him.

_It will work out fine, _he convinced himself, turning sharply into the truck lot. He slowly drove his bike up the ramp into a truck, carefully parking and then got off to shut the door behind him. When he turned around he saw Takada, who had holed herself up in a corner… distancing herself from him.

_I have to be careful, _he thought, reaching for his helmet, _She's probably been warned about me. I'm not going to take any chances._

"Take off everything you're wearing and put it all in that box," he said, nodding towards the box next to her. Another look of intense fear crossed through her eyes and she clutched her clothes protectively. Mello bit back an angry sigh, as if he'd ever find her attractive in the first place. "Hurry up," he growled; pointing a gun at her, "You can use this blanket." He tried reassuringly, but he didn't feel that the message was quite conveyed.

Takada turned around and Mello felt his face heat up slightly as she began stripping off her layers, admittedly, he didn't find her _that _attractive, but he couldn't help feel slightly awkward as she stripped down.

"Before I take off the rest," Takada said, her voice quivering, "Could I please have the blanket so I can wrap it around me?" She asked.

Mello jerked his head up in surprise; he had been lost in thought about how awkward the situation was he had nearly forgotten all about her. "W-whatever you want," he said gruffly, tossing the blanket toward her.

When she had finished Mello grabbed the box, exiting the back and locking it from behind. He quickly put on a fake delivery uniform and sealed the box, carefully setting it into another nearby truck in case her clothes had tracking devices. After he had finished he made his way to the front of the vehicle, getting in after stripping off the uniform. As much as he didn't really mind the uniform, he preferred leather.

_This is the only thing that can be done; _he tried to convince himself, pulling onto the freeway and angrily taking off the delivery hat, _if I don't do it – _

He stopped suddenly, directing his attention toward the television that was just above the dashboard. _"As for the suspect who was gunned down earlier," _Mello's heart stopped. _Suspect? _He thought, taking his eyes off the road to examine the television screen.

"_We are still unable to identify him," _The voice continued, showing an image of a red car with a lot of bullet holes in it… and on the ground next to it was a cigarette. At first a heavy voice told him that it couldn't be Matt, there was no way, and anyways, the suspect hadn't been identified. Somewhere, deep down, Mello know though. He knew that Matt had been… _gunned down._

_Matt, _he said, tearing his attention away from the television, _I never thought you'd be killed. I'm sorry…_

He continued to drive, trying harder and harder to force the thoughts out of his head. Every time he believed he had finally gotten his mind quiet, another thought would pop up. They kept eating away at his sanity, and he felt like the rubber band that tied him to Silver was about to snap. Finally, clutching the rosary that he always wore, he made the conscious decision to go to an old run-down church he and Matt had talked about, if the other phases of their plan had failed.

At first, Mello had rejected the secondary plan, he was always a Plan A type of person, but he was thanking Matt now, and he was thanking him for choosing a church. The deep oozing feeling from before had come back now, and if he couldn't be with Matt and Silver when he…

He stopped; he didn't want to say that word, that ugly d-word. He wouldn't even think it; it was a gross word, a cruel disgusting word. He shuddered and continued driving towards it.

He was just about to pull into the church when he felt it… his heart beat was wrong. It was skipping around and jumping, it wasn't right. Suddenly, there was pressure on his chest, as if there were a giant weight attached to his heart. And then he couldn't breathe, he started to panic and then his hand went useless and he crashed the truck into the church.

Things were blurring in and out of his vision, the world itself was fading away. It didn't hurt as much as he had expected it to… death… it felt more like finally coming to the end of a long journey. It was a sudden relaxation that he couldn't really explain.

_I'm sorry, Matt, _he apologized, _I never meant for you to die. I'm sorry that my mistakes… my stupid mistakes always got you into trouble._

Just when he was about to close his eyes and surrender he remembered Silver. He was sorry that he'd never get to see her smile again, he was sorry that he'd never get to hold her again, and he was sorry that he'd never get to be with her again.

He already missed her smile.

He already missed her eyes.

He already missed her laugh.

He already missed her hugs and her kisses.

Hell, there wasn't a single thing he didn't miss about her already. Only one thing was clear to him:

He wasn't ready to die.

He missed her… and now he'd never see her again.

* * *

"Halle," Near said firmly into the receiver, knowing fully what had happened without needing evidence, "Please go to Los Angeles and pick Silver up and bring her back to headquarters. I'll send you the address," he replied, not staying on the line long enough to listen to her reply. Honestly, he didn't care. Near had always been a pretty fair person, hearing people out and listening to their complaints, but this time was different. This time wasn't a negotiation or a suggestion, this time his words were an order.

He looked over at his finger-puppets, staring at the little blonde one. He had worked especially hard on that puppet… as much as Mello hated him, he couldn't help but feel fond of the boy. Even though he had tormented him for the majority of his life, Mello was the only person at Wammy's to pay attention to him, and he was grateful for that. Linda had always offered him invites to play with them, but he knew the invites were empty and only sent out of pity. Mello didn't pity him, and Near was grateful for that too.

He slowly picked up the blonde puppet, and held onto it for a moment, admiring it. To anyone who didn't really know Near, they'd believe he was just analyzing the puppet for mistakes, but that wasn't true. As much as Near was remorseful that Mello was gone, he couldn't express it. The children at the orphanage commonly mistook Near for not having emotions… but that wasn't true. He had them a lot, but he didn't know how to express them, so he tried to block them. He clutched the puppet tightly, keeping his face straight. _Right now is not the time_, he told himself, carefully placing the puppet back inside its box.

* * *

The tears had long stopped coming. Silver was pretty sure that her body just didn't have the water to spare anymore. Her face was wet, and her hair was matted, but her eyes were dry. Despicably dry, but she couldn't bring herself to drink something. She couldn't bring herself to stand.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been on the floor, staring at the photograph that she owned of the three of them. Mello was on the left, his arms crossed and trying to distance himself from Near, who was on the right. Near stood placid and bored and she was in the middle, yanking Mello back and screaming at him, trying to keep a hold on the camera.

Mello's lifespan had disappeared. He was gone, and it was something she couldn't tolerate. She had been staring at the photo for however long. Time was irrelevant. Seconds blended into minutes, and minutes blended into hours, and the hours even began to blend into days.

She found that it had been two days since Mello had left when she heard the knock on the door. Her body felt weak, and she was parched. She carefully stood up, grabbing the table for support. She strolled over to the door, not even bothering to check her appearance, knowing well enough that there was nothing she could do about it.

As she slowly turned the doorknob she half-hoped that it would be Mello standing outside the door, saying that he never really left… that he couldn't have died.

Instead the person at the door turned out to be an agent of Near's, and Silver couldn't help but feel relieved. If there was anyone left out there who she wanted to be with right now, it was Near.

"I have plane tickets for the soonest flight to Japan," Halle said, "And I'm requested to bring you back with me."

"Okay," Silver nodded, putting on her shoes numbly. She didn't want to stay there anymore… there were too many memories of him, and without looking back she left his apartment in Los Angeles.

* * *

"_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why. Without you it's hard to survive," Every Time We Touch, Cascada_

* * *

**I'm ready for the flames… -cries-.  
DON'T WORRY. I'M PLANNING ON A HAPPY ENDING. FOR BOTH NEAR AND MELLO FANS.**

**This is the second to last chapter, are you guys proud of me? I'll have finally finished something! (I can't even finish a bag of chips; I refuse to eat the last one).**

**Daughterofeternity97 – Don't worry, I've decided to end this story happily! I promise! We will all have closure.**

**PutTheLNearTheLightYagami – No. I wasn't pulling your chain. Near really does love you. But, mind you, he's a pervert.**

**Near: -blush-**

**You see that? He didn't even try to deny it.  
Although, I am planning on a happy ending, for just about everyone, so don't worry too much :)**

**Cheesecake Monday Monkey 3 – I want cheesecake Monday at my school :( OH, Pantene ColorGaurd or something like that. :) Yes, Mello didn't agree with me when I told him to go back to Silver.**

**Mello: YES, I DID. You wouldn't let me.**

**Me: SHH! MELLO. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME BLAME YOU.**

**Mello: WHY SHOULD I?**

**Me: Uh… because… uh… shut up.**

**P.S. I hope burry and bunny are okay, I miss them. :) **

**Good day you all, **

**Reminding you that this will end okay next chapter,**

**I promise!**

Stick with me for one more chapter, okay? :)


	31. You'll Always Be Here, I Promise

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

White Ivy

"You'll Always Be Here, I Promise"

* * *

"Do it." He said quickly, without hesitation.

"No," she replied weakly, wishing that the decision were as easy as he made it out to be.

_Five letters down, six more to go, _she thought carefully, her hand hovering over the paper.

"Think about it," he said convincingly, "This is justified revenge. You don't need to feel remor-"

"I don't need to feel remorse?" she whispered to him harshly, "Murder is murder, it doesn't matter how justified." She finished half-heartedly.

"If you don't write that name," he said hastily, "Then I will."

"No," she said suddenly, "I-I'll do it."

_Light Y-._

She stopped, clutching the pencil so hard that her nails dug into her skin. She shook violently which made her hand too unsteady to write legibly with the pencil.

_Damn it, _she cursed inwardly, _I don't have time for hesitating, _she thought, staring at the limp form beside her, a tuft of white hair poking out from under the blanket, _why can't I do it?_

"You stopped." Zellogi commented from beside her. She clenched her teeth and bit her tongue; it was all she could do in order to keep herself from screaming in outrage.

_Why can't I do it? _She screamed at herself, _it should be so easy, he killed him! _Her thoughts grew more and more violent, and she began to shake even harder.

_Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it? Why can't I do it? Why can-_

Her thoughts were interrupted by hand that had suddenly grasped her shoulder. She looked up and saw Zellogi, shaking his head. She looked away from him and felt him close the notebook on her hand.

"Never mind," he said calmly, walking towards the door, "Don't." He finished, floating through the door, leaving her alone.

"I wish the decision were as easy as you say it is," she commented quietly, hiding the death note under her shirt once more and then carefully laid down again. She didn't want to wake Near; he already slept barely two hours a night.

_He's working so hard, _she thought sadly, _he barely ever sleeps. It's not healthy,_ she thought, staring at him, _I wish I could do something._

Her hand stung painfully, and she raised it to see four fresh crescent-shaped cuts lining her palm. She cursed inwardly and balled in her hand into a fist.

_Why can't I seem to do anything? _She asked herself angrily, _they died… L… Matt… even… Mello. I could have done something… anything… and now Near's practically killing himself trying to catch Kira. I could have ended it all, before there were any real casualties._

She stared at Near's sleeping form and felt a tear escape her eye, _Kira, _she thought harshly, _Kira should have been the only casualty of this war._

She rolled over, facing the nightstand. She hadn't been able to sleep in the two days that she had been at Near's, even though he had given her the shiny white bottle that sat on the nightstand. He had said that it would give her dreamless sleep, which really didn't sound too terrible. Every single time she closed her eyes she saw him, and she would be lying if she said she didn't ache with longing every time she did. She missed his beautiful eyes and his asshole personality; she even missed his girly-blonde hair. In all reality she had decided; she wanted nothing more than to forget about Mihael Keehl.

She shook herself from her thoughts, immediately hating herself for bringing him up again. _I want to forget, _she thought quickly, raising her hand to her forehead, _I don't want to remember him._

She stared at the silver handcuff that was neatly around her wrist. Near kept the key on him, and she could probably easily get out of she wanted to, but it didn't feel like a restraint to her, and she was pretty sure Near knew that.

She hugged the manacle to her chest, closing her eyes for just a second. As odd as she was sure it sounded, somehow the handcuff made her feel safe. It made her relax, even if just a little bit.

_He can't get him, _she thought happily, turning over to face Near, _He can't get him if I'm right here._

Suddenly there was movement from Near's still body and Silver turned her head to look at the clock, _6:45, _she thought, _right on schedule. _She closed her eyes and pretended to sleep, trying her hardest to ignore the images glued to the backs of her eyelids.

She hugged herself tighter, trying to differentiate a difference between reality and her imagination. She could feel Near staring at her but she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. Images flashed violently through her memory. Mello. Near. L. Mello. Near. Matt. Sarah. Near. Mello. The images flashed faster and faster, and she felt her hold onto sanity grow slightly weaker as the images scrolled through her mind in some sort of a sadistic slideshow.

She closed her eyes tighter, willing them to shut for a second time – praying for some sort of second eyelid to protect her from the images. Just as she was about to force herself to tear open her eyes and look at Near she felt him pull her into his arms.

It had been a routine ever since she'd arrived two days ago. Every night before he'd sleep he'd hold her. Every morning when he woke up he'd comfort her. She hated herself for crying in front of him, he didn't deserve that.

_I don't deserve him; _she thought bitterly, _I shouldn't get to cry in front of him. Not over him…_

* * *

It had been five hours. Silver was starting to get a little bored, stacking dominoes and knocking them down, but she didn't really mind. Dominoes kept her mind off things. She just wished that Near would talk to her… he hadn't spoken much at all in the three days she had been staying with him.

"Silver," Near finally spoke, "I have to go somewhere today."

"Oh," she said, slightly startled, "Where are we going?" She asked, staring at the handcuff chain that Near was fiddling with.

"You're not coming with me," he stated, taking the key out of his pocket and undoing the light silver chain that hung around her wrist.

It didn't really bother her, his words at least. She was used to defying the petty rules that Near and… _others_ had set for her. She didn't let anybody tell her what to do. But this time was different; Near didn't say it _like a rule. _He didn't say it sternly, or even warningly. No, he stated it like a _fact_.

Silver thought for a moment, "You can't tell me what to do," she decided, trying to forget his tone of voice.

"I'm not _telling_ you," he said quietly, "I'm stating a fact." Silver noticed that as he finished he braced himself for an outburst.

A flurry of rage hit Silver, starting in her stomach. That's how it always started when Near or… anybody else told her she couldn't do something. It bubbled and boiled, up her esophagus, and just as she was about to scream at Near she bit her tongue. She closed her eyes and thought for a minute, "No," she finally said after a moment, her voice surprisingly weak. She surprised herself and Near by her sudden wave of calmness. "No," she said again, more confidently, "I'm coming with you."

"No, you'r-" Near started, but Silver quickly raised a hand to silence him.

"I don't care what you do," she said calmly, "But I know what you're heading off to do. I don't care if you make me carry a gun. I don't care if you make me wear a mask, but I'm coming."

"I don't think you understand," Near started but Silver slammed a fist down, knocking all of her dominoes down.

"No," she said harshly, taking a breath. "I don't think you understand," she said quietly, and Near looked at her imploringly.

Silver stared ahead for a few minutes, not daring to look at Near. She took a deep breath, and then another; she was trying to get her thoughts and emotions in order, but couldn't seem to grasp what she was feeling. "I-I wasn't t-there," she started, roughly managing to translate the complicated emotions that were twisted into her heart into words, "I wasn't there," she said stronger, "I wasn't there when he di-" she stopped.

"There wasn't anything that you could possibly have don-"

"No," Silver said sternly, "_I wasn't there when he died,_" she said finally, a sense of relief overcoming her as if she were confessing her sins, "I let him leave. I could have stopped him. I could have gone after him. No, I didn't do any of that," she continued, feeling stronger as she spoke, "I sat on the floor and _cried. _I wasn't there when he died," she paused, trying to muster everything she had left, "He would have been there if it were me dying, and I wasn't there for him." She finished, fresh tears spilling from her eyes, Near staring at her astounded.

"I'll be fine," he said calmly, picking up his dominoes again.

"And what if you aren't?" She asked, staring at him, "What if you die there? What if I sit here, on this god damned floor while you die?"

He didn't look up, and continued to pick up his dominoes. She stared at him as he began to set them up again, getting angrier with each satisfying _click _of a domino being placed on the ground.

"Look at me," she said harshly, "Look at me and honestly tell me that you're going to be safe."

He slowly raised his eyes and stared at her. "I promise I'll be perfectly…" he stopped. "I promise that there'll be no possible…" He stopped again. He thought furiously and opened his mouth again, "I can guarantee one-hundred percent that…" He stopped again and looked down.

Silver stared at him, "You'll be what?"

Minutes went by and Near didn't say anything. Silence began to settle in, but Silver kept her gaze trained on Near.

"I can't," Near said shakily, "I can't promise that."

Silver gently grabbed the Silver handcuff in Nears hand and snapped it around her own wrist.

_Click._

* * *

_Click._

Silver watched as the car doors locked. She turned her attention to Near and looked at him quizzically.

"I'm not taking any chances," he said, staring outside the window, "You and I will be wearing masks." He finished, handing her a panda mask, while putting on a mask that looked remarkably like L. Silver smiled at the similarities between the two masks.

_I suppose L always did look like a panda, _Silver thought, chuckling to herself.

"Any other… guidelines?" Silver asked, noticing that the car doors hadn't been unlocked yet.

Silver listened to Near drabble about how she was not to talk, move, or even really act like she was there, but Silver got bored quickly, and she manually unlocked the car, dragging Near out with her. She smiled at the warehouse that they were to have their meeting in and walked inside.

When they got inside Near immediately plopped down and began taking out an amount of finger-puppets and other various toys, laying them out in front of him. Silver smiled and sat down next to him, letting her mind wander off into space.

Some time passed and eventually a man walked in to speak with Near, and Silver didn't really pay attention, but stiffened involuntarily. Everything would be coming to an end shortly, but she couldn't figure out which end it would come to.

She scooted slightly closer to Near when four men came into the building, positioning themselves across from Near. Silver felt slightly awkward, but stayed close to Near. They were the only ones sitting. Silver grabbed onto Nears arm, wanting to feel that he was still there, but otherwise didn't move.

Silver stared at Light and sent a sidelong glance to Zellogi who was making weird motions to the men across the room. She rolled her eyes and examined the men. All of them seemed confused, except for one, their expressions were even quizzical… and then she realized they were looking at her.

_Thanks, Near, this mask is a savior, _she thought happily, feeling the heat behind her cheeks.

There was one among the four who wasn't looking at her… no… Light was staring at _Near. _Something inside Silver itched… his look was completely malicious. She grasped Nears arm tighter.

"It's them," one of them spoke, "Those four are the SPK, and the one wearing the L mask is Near… and the other I don't know."

"She's another case I'm working on," Near said absentmindedly. The others stared at them for a moment, but didn't say more on the subject.

"Hang on," another one of them spoke, "Am I the only one who sees something wrong? He can go around accusing people of being Kira, but the fact that they're wearing masks says that they're only trying to protect themselves, not anyone else!"

Silver clutched Nears arm tighter, and wondered if she was cutting off his circulation. "It's just a precaution," Near said smoothly, "There is a good possibility that Kira has already seen the faces of everyone in this warehouse except for ours," Near said and the agents exchanged a look, "In fact, he may be writing down your names as we speak. So, I'd like to wait one hour… no thirty minutes, which should give us more than enough time to see if anyone is being controlled before they die. She will not be removing her mask."

The agent from earlier gasped, "What? You're going to wait and see if we die?" The agent exclaimed, but Near didn't reply.

Nobody spoke for a long time, and Silver's heart rate was finally managing to descend. A half an hour came and went and soon enough it had been forty-five minutes. Silver was starting to get nervous again.

_Near, _Silver said angrily, _you better have a damn good plan, or I'll be the one to kill you._

The agent from earlier was anxiously checking his watch and glancing at Near, "Near!" he shouted, "It's already been over thirty minutes – nothing's happened yet!"

"Of course not," Light said sweetly, "That's because Kira's not here with us." Silver clutched the Death Note to her chest.

Zellogi glanced at her. _If this weren't such a bad time I'd kill him right now, _she thought evilly.

"Very well," Near said, and Silver glanced at him in horror, "Everyone seems to be safe." Silver clutched the Death Note tighter, "I'll remove my mask now."

Silver wrenched herself from Nears arm as he reached up and gently pulled of his mask. For a second Silver thought she had had a heart attack, because for a few moments she couldn't breathe. The anticipation of something terrible was finally getting to her. Zellogi cackled in response to reaction and she scowled at him from under the mask.

Silver's stomach churned as she stared at Near, who continued to look at Light. Suddenly, his mouth curled up into a smile and she felt reassured for a moment.

"You're quiet, Near," Light commented, "What's wrong? Are you still waiting for something?"

_His tone, _Silver thought carefully, _it's too sweet. He knows something we don't. _She thought, nervously glancing at all of the openings of the building, including a small window with a fan.

Near grasped one of his finger puppets and turned it around, "Waiting," he said, turning the Kira puppet over, "That's an excellent choice of words. Yes," he replied, "I am waiting – for the arrival of the one who will solve everything once and for all."

_So it's true, _she thought, glancing again at all of the openings, _my suspicions were correct._

"Someone else is supposed to clear this up?" An agent stated, and Silver turned her head to see one of the agents that had been silent this entire time.

"He'll be here soon," Near said confidently, standing all of the puppets up. "It's only a matter of time. There's only one entrance to this building," he said, gesturing to the red door in the corner, and Silver subconsciously shifted away. "And the only way to look inside is by opening that door. That means, he'll walk through that door, or at the very least open it and peek through."

Silver glanced at Near, glad that he had thought of every possibility, but still clutched her Death Note protectively. _There's no way you're dying Near, _she said, taking a sharp pin out of her hair – prepared to use her blood as a writing utensil if it came down to it, _no way I'll let you die. _

"And just who is this person anyway?" Questioned the annoying agent from earlier, Silver rolled her eyes and stared at Near's puppets.

"X-Kira," he replied simply, "The one who is currently using the notebook and killing people on Kira's behalf. He's bound to come here with the notebook, and then he'll see me and write down my real name. Or rather, he'll write down the names of everyone here who knows about the notebook and kill them."

"What are you saying? This doesn't make any sense! What're you trying to tell us Near? That some other guy is going to drop by with the notebook, poke his head in, and kill us all?" The annoying agent exclaimed.

"And you want us to sit back and let it happen?"

"Yes, that's correct." Silver grabbed Nears arm again, "Now listen carefully: if someone comes in the warehouse through that door, just let them in without resisting. If the door opens slightly, simply act as if you don't notice anyone there."

"But, but that's just crazy!"

"He's already here." Near said quickly, and Silver hugged his arm tighter.

There as a ripple of shock through warehouse and then the scratching of a utensil on paper. The agents sat for a second, and then quickly pulled out their weapons.

"Hold it," Rester said, pointing his gun at the agents, "Don't do anything!"

"Everything is fine," Near said sternly, but Silver closed her eyes tightly, "You won't die!"

"How can you be so sure, Near?"

"Because I modified the notebook," he said, his tone bored again and the agents gasped, "We took brief possession of the notebook and replaced the pages. The person behind the door has been doing the killings for Kira – he has also been using exactly one page every day. Based on that, I was able to replace the page he would use today, as well as all subsequent pages so no one else would die."

"On the other side of that door is X-Kira," Near started again after a moment, "My guess is in roughly forty seconds he'll look inside to see if we're dead. Whoever's name is not written down must be Kira." Silver released his arm.

"I-it's true," one of the agents said, "Kira would be the only one that guy wouldn't try to kill… but, still."

Things were silent and Silver began to second-guess Near's plan. Light was extremely intelligent… she was sure of it. Something could go wrong… she hugged her notebook to herself, and thought briefly about taking at out… but Zellogi was shaking his head.

"You there," Light spoke suddenly, jostling Silver from her thoughts, "Have you finished writing down the names in the notebook?"

"Yes," replied a sinister voice, "I've written them."

"Don't you think it's rather odd?" Near spoke quickly, "Why would he answer you so quickly, calmly, and honestly when you asked him if you had written down our names yet?" Silver smiled.

"Who knows?" Light replied, "Maybe he's just honest - or confident that he'll succeed, or perhaps he's seen through your brilliant plan."

"Teru Mikami," Near said quickly, "If it's not too much trouble for you, won't you please come in and join us? I already know that you're the one who's been judging and executing people for Kira. If you've already written down our names, then there shouldn't be anything to be afraid of. You can come right on in."

"Teru Mikami, is it?" Light asked, "He's right, there's no reason to hide from us. You can come right on in." He finished, and the door suddenly jostled open.

Silver widened her eyes suddenly when she saw the man who walked in. He had messy black hair, and was continuously checking his watch, clutching the Death Note with all of his strength. But, none of those things were something that Silver cared about – or even really noticed. What she noticed was what _wasn't_ there.

There, above his head was his name in crisp lettering. _Teru Mikami. _But, below it there was _nothing. _Most of the time Silver pretty much forgot that she had the Shinigami eyes, it wasn't something she really paid attention; by now it was just part of the background. But, she noticed quickly that Teru didn't have a lifespan, but she wasn't expecting him to.

People who owned Death Notes didn't have life spans. She vaguely wondered why sometimes, but Zellogi never answered her. She guessed he didn't know, but something about Mikami not having a life span sparked a thought for her. She slowly switched her glance and stared at Light… below his name was a life span.

_That… that weasel, _she cursed inwardly, _he's been relinquishing ownership of the Death Note this entire time, but still remaining Kira… he's been doing it to conceal himself. How could I have been tricked so easily?_

Fury bubbled up inside her and she clutched her death note tighter, and the cover was even starting to dig painfully into her skin; but she didn't care. For the first time she in her lifetime, she seriously wanted someone dead.

_No, not someone, _she stared at Light harder, _He's not a someone, he's a something. It wouldn't even count as murder. It'd count as property damage – if that._

"How many seconds has it been since you wrote down the first name?" Light asked. The man checked his watch.

"Thirty seconds," he said happily, and then began to count up to forty, and Silver clutched Near's sleeve harder.

Just as Mikami had become seconds away from forty Light's mouth stretched into a thin smile, "Well, Near," he said happily, "Looks like I win."

Silver closed her eyes tightly, holding onto Near's wrist, feeling his heartbeat beat steadily against her fingers. She waited for five seconds, and when his heart continued to beat she relaxed, smiling malevolently. _H-he won, _she thought happily, _he did it. He won. Don't have mercy, Near._

Slowly, Silver's vision turned red as she stared at Light absentmindedly. Her thoughts turned murderous as she continued to clutch the notebook, trying to decide whether she wanted Light to end or not.

"Do it," Zellogi coached from beside her, but she paid no attention.

_He deserves to die, _she told herself maliciously, _but, murder is wrong, _another part of her spoke up, but she was surprised how weak the voice sounded. _No, _the malicious voice inside her head sounded again, _he deserves to die. He deserves to die. He deserves to die. He deserves to die. No monsters like him deserve to liv-_

She was jerked suddenly from her thoughts by a loud gunshot. She looked up quickly to see the annoying agent from earlier holding a smoking gun, and blood coming viciously out of Light's wrist.

"Matsuda," Another agent called.

Light panted heavily, and slowly turned his grimace into an evil smile. Silver bit back the bile that rose in her throat as Light spoke, "Matsuda, you idiot!" He shrieked, and Silver resisted the urge to cover her ears, "Who the hell do you think you're shooting at? Don't screw with me," he panted, holding his wrist tenderly.

"What was it all for then?" Matsuda said through ragged breaths, "What about your dad? What the hell did he die for?" He asked cruelly, still holding his gun for.

"My dad?" Light asked, as if he'd never heard of such a person, "You mean Soichiro Yagami," He corrected, laughing slightly, "That's right, Matsuda, in this world all those earnest people like him who fight for justice, they always lose," he soothed, "You don't want a world where people like that are made to be fools," he convinced, "I know you understand, so kill the others!" He commanded, "Shoot them!"

Matsuda was crying heavily, "You lead your own father to his death," Matsuda charged, "And now he's gone you call him a fool?"

Things were silent for a few moments and Light raised his finger to his wrist, near his watch, "His blood!" One of the agents called and Matsuda shot at Light heavily, and Silver instinctively reached her hands to her ears.

"I'll kill him," Matsuda shouted, "He has to die!" Matsuda yelled, walking up to Light quickly and firing his gun, the agents just barely managing to restrain him.

Light breathed heavily, almost sobbing, "Damn you," he moaned, "What the hell is this?" He asked, struggling to get up, "Mikami," he called to the man, "What are you waiting for? Write down their names! Kill them now," he screamed at Mikami.

"It's all over now," one of the agents said solemnly, "Isn't it Near?"

"Yes," Near quietly confirmed.

Silver pressed her hands over her ears and closed her eyes tightly as Light continued to scream for help; she didn't want to hear a single thing he had to say. All of his words burned like acid in her ears, and she pressed her hands tighter to her ears as she heard Mikami screaming.

Suddenly the room brightened suddenly from behind her eyelids and she opened her eyes to see Light running away, out from the door. She panicked slightly and watched as a few agents walked towards the door to follow him.

"Wait, Light!" Matsuda called.

"He's getting away, Light," An agent called, stepping out of the door.

"Mr. Aizawa," Near called suddenly, stopping the agent, "It's unlikely that he has any more pieces of the notebook, he'll stop running soon, even if we leave him alone," Near advised.

"Near," Aizawa addressed, "I'm not going to follow your orders,"

Near looked up, shocked for a second, but quickly changed his expression back to neutral, "Very well," he acquiesced, "I'll leave it up to you."

Once all of the agents had left Near got up to leave, holding his hand out to Silver, but Silver just shook her head, taking her mask off carefully. "Thank you Near, for letting me come," she said, setting the mask down, "But, I'd appreciate it if you could leave me alone for a few minutes." She said quietly, and Near nodded in response, exiting the warehouse with the agents in tow.

Silver slowly took the notebook out and opened to a fresh page. For a few minutes she just stared at the notebook, Zellogi standing over her. Slowly, she stood up, like a foal just learning to walk, and crossed the room where Light's pen lay, abandoned.

She slowly picked it up and laid it gently on the page. _This, _she thought angrily, scribbling down a small script L, _is for L. _Slowly, she picked her hand up and moved it over slightly, _and this, _she said, pausing to write down an I, _is for Mihael Keehl._ She moved her hand over, writing more letters, _for Near, and my dad, and Matt, and Sarah, and Lilly, and Watari; _she paused, breathing heavily, _and for all the families you ruined, and all the lives you destroyed, _she stopped. She only had that last letter to go.

She looked down at the letters and she thought about them; she thought about how she'd never get to see L scarf down a whole cake again. She thought about how she'd never be able to tease Mello about his chocolate addiction again, and how Near had devoted a large part of his life to bringing Kira down just to see him run away, and how Sarah might never smile again, and how she hadn't been able to be there for Lilly's childhood, and that she'd never gotten to meet up with her dad again, and she thought about how Watari had been forced to see the child he had raised die, and she thought about all the families that would never be the same again, all the lives that would never be lived…

_And this, _she thought firmly, scribbling down the last letter, _is for me._

_Light Yagami, _she thought proudly, staring down his name, _ends today._

She slowly tucked the notebook back into her shirt and exited the warehouse. Murder felt different than she thought it would. She didn't feel chained, or weighted down like she thought she would. She didn't feel like she'd just committed a terrible crime; no, she felt like the giant weight that had been resting on her shoulders for the past six years had finally been lifted.

Zellogi stared at her as she left, his hand resting on his own notebook, "Well, Silver," he spoke to himself, "It looks like you've finally won. Remember in the beginning, when we first met?" Zellogi asked, reminiscing, "I told you that I'd be the one writing your name in my notebook," he said, taking the notebook out, "That is part of the agreement between a Shinigami who brings a notebook to the human world and the first human who picks it up," he said quietly, opening to a blank page.

"Who knows when you'll die," he pondered absentmindedly, staring at her as slowly got into the car with Near, "But maybe," he thought to himself, "I really just don't mind waiting." He finished, tucking the notebook back away and setting out after the car.

* * *

"You should come with me today," Near said quietly while they sat at the breakfast table. Silver shrugged, trying to avoid his question, "Will you come with me today?" he finally asked her quietly.

"No," she said, almost in a whisper, "I'm not ready to."

Near remained quiet for awhile, slowly picking at his food but not really touching it. He slowly got up and headed for the door, leaving her behind like he always did, every single Sunday, "Okay," he paused, opening the door, "But," he stopped, unsure of his words.

Silver looked up, surprised. He normally didn't say anything other than 'okay' when she refused to go with him. She stared at him and for a moment he was quiet. Silver always got a little scared when he went quiet, because she knew that he was thinking of the right words to say to her. The words she needed to hear.

"But," he spoke up again, taking in a breath, "I think he's waiting for you." He said simply, walking out and closing the door behind him.

Silver stood shocked for a few moments, too shocked to even move. For a long time she sat there, her fork suspended in air, trying to think of the right thing to do.

"I think he's right," Zellogi spoke up from behind her. Silver swallowed with difficulty and looked up at him, "It's about time you go."

Silver nodded slowly, "I think so too," she agreed, standing up. "I know he would have done it for me," she noted quietly, trying to convince herself. She hadn't even been outside since the warehouse, and now she was going to face her biggest fear.

"What if he doesn't want me there?" She asked Zellogi, reaching for the door handle.

"I'd be surprised if that were the case," he reassured her, opening the door for her. Silver slowly stepped outside and suddenly felt herself walking quickly, almost running to the place that just a second ago she had feared more than anything.

_I'm coming, _she thought, _I'm sorry it took so long, but I promise, I'm coming._

* * *

Silver was kneeling in front of it now, the place she'd been avoiding for the past three weeks. She stole a glance at it.

_Mihael Keehl_

She looked at the name that was engraved in stone and smiled, remembering all of the times that she had spent with him, and then she frowned. _I still miss you more than anything, _she thought sadly.

"I'm sorry," she spoke aloud now, "I'm sorry that I took so long to come, and I'm sorry that I didn't save you," she said, noticing the tears that were spilling down her cheeks, "And I'm sorry that you had to die alone, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," she continued to sob. For a long time she just sat there, crying inconsolably.

"I'm sorry for crying, too," she said once she had managed to calm herself down a little, "I know that right now you'd be yelling at me to live my life," she said, gazing at his tombstone, "But, I'm sorry Mello… I still love you."

She paused for a few moments, trying to think of the right things to say, "I'm sorry if you thought I forgot about you," she said, "I know it took me a long time to come, but I promise that I didn't forget," she breathed, "I know I didn't because it's really hard to forget when there's such an empty space in my heart now that you're gone."

"I had to relearn everything, you know," she said quietly, "When I found out I forgot how to breathe, how to walk," she said, more tears pouring out of her eyes, "I had to relearn how to do everything without you – how to laugh, and even how to smile."

"Near did a really great thing," she told him, "He caught Kira, and when they found him he had died of a heart attack," she smiled, "It was really all thanks to you."

She was quiet for quite some time again, still staring at the stone, "I'm sorry," she apologized again, "I know that you didn't want me to need you," she said, remembering the first time that he left, "But I proved to you that I loved you, and I proved that it was okay to need someone,"

She paused, "But," she sighed, standing up, "Maybe the hardest thing I'll have to prove is that I can live without you, I've got to be strong for you," she said sadly, placing a hand over her heart.

"And, maybe this isn't the end," she thought to herself, "I'll always have you with me, in here," she gestured to her heart, "And if it isn't the end, then maybe it's the beginning to something new." She said smiling, "Thank you for teaching me that, Mello," she thought turning around, walking back home, "And I promise, you'll always be with me, right here in my heart."

_Yeah, _she thought happily, stopping to glance back at the tombstone, _I may not be able to hold your hand or kiss your lips anymore, but as long as you're in my heart you're never really gone._

* * *

"_Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end," – Closing Time, Semisonic_

* * *

**Wow, I really can't believe it's the end. I'm sure if I told myself that I'd actually reach this point when I first started writing this, I'd be amazed.**

**Thanks time!**

**Frogata: I hope you liked the ending! I was quite surprised that I ended up with her truly falling for Mello. But, I suppose writing brings out things about yourself that you never really knew!  
P.S. – Keep up with your story, I was really interested!**

**The Night's Wish: I hope my ending was satisfactory for you :) and I'm sorry I made you cry, but I'm glad my story made you feel something… maybe that sounds weird. :) Thanks for reading!**

**PutTheLNearTheLightYagami: I hope you liked the ending, even if it is a little Mello-centric. But then again, Silver can't hog your Near, right?**

**;)**

**Near accepted your hug and kiss and returned them! (He always will)**

* * *

**I really don't know how to say goodbye in a good way to you guys, it feels like we've been through so much!  
Or, at least I've been through hell and back trying to get myself to keep updating on time with this story.**

**Keep on reading!**

**Sastars429**


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